Needed: A Christmas Miracle

The last few days have been incredibly difficult.

And I know that I shouldn't even complain.  I know that what I'm going through is nothing like what parents are facing in Connecticut. 

BUT this is my blog.  I need a place to vent.  I shouldn't even be venting b/c I'm basically running on fumes at this point and I should be sleeping.  But it's hard to sleep when your 5 month old amazing daughter has been in the hospital, on an intensively monitored floor, and not progressing for over 48 hours.

It all started last week.  Gloria started vomiting REALLY heard when eating.  And when I say hard, I mean it got everything SOAKED and it was PROJECTILE.  The first time it happened I freaked.  I wanted to immediately take her to the ER.  But this happens sometimes with babies and then sure enough, she got better on Tuesday.  We still don't know if that was just a cold that went away because she was back to normal and perfect Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. 

On Saturday she turned for the worse.  She severely vomitted again and then developed a high fever, cough, etc.  By Sunday we were concerned.  She was vomiting every single thing we gave her (even when feeding her one ounce an hour) and hadn't made a wet diaper due to dehydration.  Evan and I decided to head to the ER.  The second we got there, she threw up all over him and we knew we had made the right decision to bring her.

The second the doctor heard the symptoms he immediately looked concerned. 

Then the doctor came in and said "ok, her RSV is positive."

I could feel the tears in my eyes already.

That was Sunday.  This is Tuesday.  Gloria hasn't gotten better.  I could write all the details out, and need to because I am so incredibly in need of a place to vent, but I should sleep.

But long story short, on Tuesday, not only have things not gotten better, they've gotten worse.  She has a feeding tube now (worst experience ever hearing them have to do it twice while I cried in a pillow).  Evan has been AMAZING, as usual.  He took off of work on Monday (WELL not so much took off ... told them he was not coming in) and helped so much.  He worked today, but much shorter hours (well, 8 hours but that's significantly less for a resident). 

At this rate we don't have plans for anything.  We've cancelled any Christmas plans and our new wish?

I want my baby home for Christmas.  I want her in my arms.  I want my husband, my daughters, and I in the same room (something that we can't do in the hospital).  I want it.  So badly.  SO SO badly. 

We need our own little Christmas miracle.