Movin' and a Cryin'

No joke (no April fools).  Evan and I are exhausted.  He's, understandably, about 20,000 times more exhausted than I am.  But we're tired.

Every single time he's on call over a weekend we start the week off already praying for Friday.

Evan has this thing he does that drives me crazy (and not in a sexy crazy way ... in a "NOOOO don't say that!" way).  Every Friday morning before his 84 hour call starts (no I didn't type that incorrectly ... he's literally on call for 84 hours STRAIGHT) he says "I really don't think it should be a bad call this time." 

I literally smacked him upside the head this time.  I knew he had jinxed it!  And ... he did.

It's not that one call weekend is necessarily worse than the other.  We'd like to pretend they are, but when we look at it, they're all pretty damn awful.  He gets paged CONSTANTLY.  We've learned all pages get irritating, no matter what you make it sound like.  I have seriously wanted to take a hammer to it a few times in the middle of the night, I can only imagine how E feels!

This weekend, he did go one 2 hour stretch on Sunday (while we were with family eating for Easter, so that was nice) without a page.  But I would say average is a page about every 30 minutes.  This usually means either: (1) it's a patient calling to speak to the Doctor on call, (2) it's a nurse asking a question about a patient, or (3) the dreaded one: he has to go in to the hospital for something, and quickly.

We already know the #'s and when it's a page from the ER we fear that he'll have to go and either be in surgery for a long time, or at the very least be gone for a couple hours.  I know you're thinking "get over it" and you know what, you think I would!  You think I would be accustomed to this already!  We've been doing this here residency thing for nearly two years.

But I just can't get accustomed to it yet. And I'm not going to lie it brings me down thinking we've got THREE more to go.  I often joke with Evan now "you couldn't have done a 3 year residency could ya?  Had to be a butt and go for the five year!" (pediatric residency = 3 years, surgical sidencies = 5 years, OB/GYN = 4 years (tid bit of info ... did you know your OB that is doing SURGERY on you for a C-section for instance doesn't do a year of surgical training?  Kinda scary ain't it!)

ANYWAY, it's not so much the fact that he's gone.  Believe it or not, the girls and I have rather established a routine and Liliana (don't know whether this is good or bad) is really used to him having to leave or being on the phone.  Sure, she still tells him "don't go Daddy I'm going to miss you!" but she knows he'll be back and she understands (vast improvement from last year).

This weekend was particularly rough b/c Gloria started crawling while he was at the hospital all Saturday morning and most of the afternoon.  And the first movement she did I was so excited, yes, but a tear also rolled down my face.  I knew he had missed it.  And I know that's fine.  I know Gloria will never know the difference.  But my heart broke for Evan.  It broke for us not being able to jump up and down and kiss her together. When things like this happen I always debate whether to tell him or not.  I've done both..but this time, I told him when he got home.  I knew I wouldn't be able to fake the excitement, haha, and he understood.

So here we are on a Monday and I'm excited for a Friday.  Evan's off this weekend and we plan on going to the zoo with the girls and having a great time.  But first things first, I plan on us falling asleep EARLY tonight to catch up ... you wouldn't believe the crazy stuff that had him going to the hospital and checking x-rays on our laptop last night.  I'm not even surprised anymore...just like "holy cow, you'd better go now!"  During the day he does see some of the crazy stuff, but it's usually telling SO many people they have bladder cancer, prostate cancer, testicular cancer, etc.  I don't know how he does it. 

But like Liliana says "my Daddy is such a good doctor and he's helping his patients!  Mommy, I'm a pee pee doctor too!" :)

And I know this too shall pass ... in three years and two months. SIGH.

C'MON FRIDAY!