The Daycare Debacle

I wish I could say I've been on maternity leave this last week, but that isn't the case at all.  In fact, I went to work full-time all of Wednesday, Thursday and Friday of last week.  To be completely honest, I was less than thrilled to be there.  It was a great conference, but I had to bring Gloria with me on Wednesday and let me tell you, conferences are QUIET and I felt horrible any time that she made the slightest peep.  She is SUCH a good baby, but babies do make noise and they do require time.  On Thursday and Friday, I had Evan's Mom here to watch Gloria and it was really hard leaving her.  It was the first time I had been without her and I just wanted to get home to hug on her more.

This week, I've worked a few hours everyday and brought her to work with me.  I'm just trying to get things ready for school starting and trying to make sure everything is in order for the first couple of weeks (until I return and have her in daycare).

Going back to work made me realize that I really had to get this daycare situation in order.  I've had a hell of a time finding decent daycare in this city.  From what I figure, Little Rock has two GREAT daycares for infants and the wait list on them is insane.  I put Gloria on the list when I was 11 weeks pregnant and was no where near the top.  Had I know, I would have put her on the list when we were TTC!  Sounds ridiculous, but that's the way it is.  In another life, I'm going to open a QUALITY amazing daycare.  It isn't even the price ... I just want a place that is worthy of my children.  Believe it or not, I don't mean a palace.  I mean a safe, nurturing, and educational environment.

We ADORE ADORE ADORE (yes all 3 in caps is necessary) where Liliana is now, but that took time to find (if you recall, we had a horrible experience at the first daycare we had her at here).  Unfortunately, her current school starts at 18 months.  It's a Montessori school and we have had ZERO complaints with them since she started there 9 months ago.

Last week I went to the daycare where I planned on putting Gloria.  When they took me to the room I saw a baby with poop ON HIS FACE.  ALL over his face. When I mentioned this to them they said "don't worry, we change every hour and he'll be changed in thirty minutes."  Yes they were going to leave that baby in his crib with SHIT on his face for 30 minutes.  I showed them the check in my hand, and swiftly walked out.  I made a statement.  I don't care if I seemed overbearing, but I refuse to let my child be at a place like that.

I had attitude ... big time attitude in front of them.  But the second I got to the car, the water works started.  Being a working mother is stressful sometimes (ok all the time) but the last thing I want is to feel guilty for working.  And leaving here there was NOT AN OPTION.  I would have rather stayed home.

When I was at the conference the head of our upper school heard my story and the next day she told me "I made some calls.  I got her a spot at a great place."

No it isn't one of the two "go to" places, but I toured it and it's pretty great.  I thought about taking Liliana out of her current place to not have 2 drop offs in the mornings, but I couldn't do that to my Liliana.  She's just too happy there.

So for now, I'll have a pretty long commute to do this, but it looks like Gloria will move in January to a place one block away from Liliana's.

Ultimately, we've got something settled for now.  And I won't feel guilty.  I'll have to leave earlier than I'd like, but we make sacrifices as parents and I am glad things are resolved for now.

BUT ... I still have 24 days of leave left (well, semi leave ... as you can see, I've still been working) and I plan to cherish time with my two gals as much as possible.

A Happy Baby = Happy Parents!!!!

Liliana started her new daycare 3 days ago.  I thought I would be relieved to find her a new place.  Relieved doesn't quite express how I feel.

I am enamored.  Completely obsessed.  I want to kiss the feet of every single person at this daycare.

In just three days, we have seen the BIGGEST change in our daughter.  It is simply amazing.

We have Liliana in a Montessori Daycare.  For those that are unaware, Montessori education is a mindset of raising an independent child.  For example, in Liliana's classroom each child is in charge of taking thier snack and going around the table giving each student a certain amount of snacks.  Their thought is that by her age she shouldn't be given these snacks.  She is able to get them herself and give them to other students too.  It shows the concept of sharing, of knowing HOW much is a reasonable amount, etc.

All these ideas MIGHT sound silly to you.  I have to admit that even to me they seem kinda silly, but let me tell you ... in 3 days our daughter has changed so much, and for the better.  This isn't to say that anything was wrong with her before, but she simply seems more content.

Here are some changes we've seen in just THREE days:

(1) she says please and thank you whenever giving her food.  We've been trying to teach her this FOREVER but something they did at daycare worked.  No idea what it was, but I'm kinda jealous that I didn't think of it.  PLUS, it's super cute to hear her say those words. 

(2) She is comfortable being by herself and eating on her own.  On Tuesday night, Evan and I were making dinner and she got her bowl and pointed to her goldfish.  She took her bowl, sat facing the corner, and just ate on her own until she was done.  Normally, she would have carried the food around, spilling along the way, and trying to get our attention.  She somehow knows to be on her own and that eating is done while sitting down.  Again, I could KISS THEIR FEET!!!

(3) She's in love with the potty again. As I've blogged about before, Liliana has been ready for potty training since around 16 months.  I haven't tackled it because I was waiting for Christmas break to do so.  At her old daycare, I don't know WHAT happened, but she started fearing the potty.  Here?  Well, let's just say last night she took her diaper and pants off and sat on the toilet.  I think she's psyched.

(4) Umm ... no more sippy cups.  I didn't even know this was an option.  On Tuesday afternoon when we picked her up, she was drinking from a big girl cup.  We asked them if she didn't need a sippy cup anymore and they said "no, she's a big girl that knows how to drink from a big girl cup!"  So last night, we put this to the test.  I was convinced we'd have water EVERYWHERE.  We gave her the cup and lo and behold, she put the thing in her mouth and drank.  Sure, she got some NASTY backwash in there, but not a drop off water on the floor.  She is officially off sippy cups!

I am SO happy about this transition, I can hardly contain myself.  I love everything about her new daycare, but mainly, I love seeing our daughter happy.  When I go pick her up she says "bye bye" to ME!!!! She used to say bye bye to the other kids in her room, but at this place?  She wants me to leave the second I get there!  She is having so much fun! 

If you have any questions on Montessori education, feel free to ask away.  Like I said, I probably would have thought this stuff was a bunch of hogwash, but seeing such a transformation, I am MORE than convinced.  Oh and no, her daycare isn't paying me for writing any of this.  They have no clue I even have a blog.  But I am nearly crying from happiness at this change.  It is probably the best thing that has happened to us as parents in a long time and it is surely the best thing that has happened for Lilianan since we left Lubbock.

Like the title says ... a happy baby = happy parents (VERY VERY happy parents).

A Long and Exhausting Battle

I know I said I was going to write about Halloween, but quite frankly, something else is on my mind and I want to write about it.  I should make a disclaimer that I probably seem very angry throughout this post ... I am.  This has been a long and exhausting battle, but fortunately, there is a very very happy ending.

In Lubbock, we loved our daycare.  The most aggregious thing they did was give her juice instead of water for two days.  Seriously ... not the end of the world.  Otherwise, they were perfect.  Quite honestly, Liliana learned more while there than at home.  That's just the way it was.  She loved being there, would run (well at that time, crawl) AWAY from me when I would go pick her up, and I was at peace when dropping her off.

Once we moved to Little Rock, things were immediately different.  We put Liliana in a daycare that wasn't our top choice, but we thought it would suffice until we could get her in to other daycares with mile long waiting lists.  When she started at this daycare, my first inclication was that I wasn't thrilled, but I thought it would be good enough.  The ladies were ok.  They weren't great ... weren't super involved ... but at least from what I could tell, it could be worse.
Then in August she changed to her big girl room and problems started.  I haven't spoken about this on the blog because quite truthfully I have felt horrible since then about dropping my daughter off at daycare and if I typed it out that her new daycare wasn't even safe, it would be official that I would be nominated for worst the worst Mother of the year award.

Ok, well ... maybe I'm not THIS bad, but still ... not good.

 In August, Liliana got a bite mark on her arm.  When the daycare called, I was actually not upset about it.  I realize that these things happen.  I wasn't per-se happy about it, but I said ok and asked what their plans were to help the problem.  They said they'd keep an eye on the biting baby more. 
The next day (YES the NEXT day) I got another call.  This time, her bite was on her back.  I started getting a little bit upset at this point.  They also told me the parents of the biting baby would not be contacted (something they refuse to admit that they said now). 

THREE DAYS later, I get another injury report saying "a friend scratched Liliana on her back."  Weird thing though ... the scratch looked remarkably a lot like teeth and in the shape of a mouth. Hmm.

Through all this, Evan and I stayed pretty mum about the whole thing.  And, something I haven't mentioned ... some of these bites drew blood.  Yeah, they weren't tiny bites.  We weren't happy and we started calling other daycares asking where her wait list status was.  I was basically pleading and begging other daycares to have openings.

Things calmed down for 6 weeks though and we started thinking perhaps we overreacted by not giving this daycare enough time.

Then last week I got a call (I'm starting to dread when I see the Caller ID at work show up with her daycare name).  "a friend bit Liliana on her face."  Here, I finally lost it.  The arm is one thing.  The face, close to the eye, is another.  I was livid and furious.  Fortunately for them, they left this as a voicemail because I would have been yelling too loud for the students to hear the bell at school.  When I called them back (this time, Evan and I conferenced called them because we were too angry to not say anything) they said "well these things happen and it wouldn't be fair to quarantine the biting baby." What I basically hear with this is "it's not fair to the other baby, so your baby is going to be punished."

Let me get one thing straight here.  I know that babies bite!  Liliana isn't a biter, but our next child very well may be!  HOWEVER, I think that you should do things to try and alter that behavior.  And when you tell me "well we're doing the best we can," my answer was "your best IS NOT good enough."

When I saw THIS on her face, I was pretty mortified.  After two conference calls, we decided Liliana should move rooms (see how accomodating we are?  We were trying different things!).  Liliana went to a room with older children (about 4 months older) because supposedly this would decrease chances of biting. 

Friday ... guess what call I got?  That's right.

She got bit a FIFTH time.  That was ENOUGH. 

I went to tour another daycare (a Montessori that I am a HUGE fan of).  She has been on the waiting list for this Montessori and was supposed to start in January.  I explained to them our dilemma and told them that for US, waiting until January could mean 5 more bite marks AT LEAST. 

After the FIFTH bite mark call, the Montessori called with AMAZING news.  The next person on the waiting list decided to stay home with a Nanny SOOOOO Liliana starts in a week!!!!!

I GLADLY put in Liliana's two week notice at the old place and we are paying double daycare for a week but frankly, I don't care.  We tried to argue that we shouldn't have to pay the old daycare because they didn't fulfill their obligations to keep our daughter safe, but they were quite unaccomodating.  I could fight it, but that's not what's important to me.  To me, what's important is that Liliana is safe, that she's in an environment where she's LEARNING (which she does NONE of right now), and most importantly, that she is happy.

A happy baby makes a happy Mommy and Daddy.  And, it took us a few months, but we'll finally be there! 

Her First Day

Yesterday was a BIG day...Liliana started daycare.  I had been trying to mentally prepare myself for this day and I KNEW she would be more than fine, but it's tough for a first time Mommy to say goodbye to her precious baby girl for 8 straight hours.  As I've mentioned before, I don't feel guilty that Liliana has to go to daycare.  I have to study for this teacher certification exam, and even more, I think there are a trillion positive things about her being in daycare: she won't get used to being held constantly, she'll see other babies and try to mimic those that are more advanced and older than she is, and eventually, she'll make lots of friends!

Here's how our morning went:

Cristina: "Good morning my beautiful Liliana!  Guess what?  Mommy is taking you to daycare today!"

Liliana: "What??  What's daycare?  I'm not going to even look at you if you're just abandoning me woman!"

Cristina: "No I'm not abandoning you!  I'm taking you somewhere where you'll meet LOTS and LOTS of new friends and they're all around the same age as you."

Liliana: "Yeah??  Well, that doesn't sound so bad AT ALL!  Maybe I'll even see some cute booooys.  Boys...sigh...the thought of boys just makes me smile."

Cristina:  "That's right!  And look at this ADORABLE outfit your Mommy is putting you in for your first big day of daycare!"

 Liliana: "WAIT Mommy, don't change me yet!  Look what I can do with my legs!  I'm OBSESSED with holding my legs like this lately."

Cristina: "Wow baby girl, that's impressive, even though your face is a little...um...creepy/startled when you do that."

Liliana:  "Oh yeah?  Well how about now?"

  
Cristina: "Just as startled my cutie pie.  Off to daycare my precious one!  Let's go take our TWO minute drive.  We're HERE!"

 Liliana:  "But Mommy, what if I don't make friends?  I'm a little scared and shy!  I'd rather just sit in my car seat all day looking super kissable and cuddly."

Cristina:  "You'll be fine my baby girl!!  You'll be more than fine. I can't wait to come get you in the afternoon."

fast forward to 5 o'clock...

Cristina: "How did my baby girl do?"

Jeannie (one of the caretakers in her nursery room):  "Your daugher is SO precious!  She only cried when she was hungry or needed to be changed.  She was PERFECT!  Here's her report card for the day!"

 

fast forward to this morning...

Cristina:  "Good morning Liliana!  They said you were "happy" yesterday...are you happy to go to daycare today?"

Liliana:  "How about you put me in another cute dress and let's go see my friends again!!"

Yep, this daycare thing is going to work out just fine...I miss my baby girl immensely during the day, but I've been able to do more studying just this morning than I did for the first two days of the week when she was with me.  And, I know this is all in my imagination, but she came home SO talkative...like she learned from the other kiddos in her nursery room (where the ages range from 2 months to 8 months).  I'm so happy with her Daycare and I know she's well cared for.  Evan texts me all day seeing how the morning went and asking how things are at the daycare.  He's working really long hours this month, so he's missing her like crazy.  Still though, we're happy we found a place that keeps us at peace during the day...but of course, my favorite part of the afternoon is when I get to go pick her up and see that smiley face! : )

The Search for Daycare

I finally found our day care!!

Last week was Spring Break, but I decided to make some cash and worked every day but Friday (we were traveling to San Antonio for our baby shower that weekend).  I worked Monday until three o'clock because I had an appointment to cut my hair and while getting my hair cut, the stylist started saying "you haven't decided where you're doing day care and you're already starting your third trimester?  You need to get on that!"  I left with a decent hair cut AND stressed...

I went to get a pedicure (hadn't treated myself to one since I found out I was pregnant) and plus, I wanted my toes to look nice for the baby shower (as if anyone noticed but me! ha!).  Unfortunately, my stress carried over to my pedicure.  I spent the whole time calling day cares, getting prices, calling in home caregivers, etc.  The prices in Lubbock range from about $500 to $650 a month for full-time care.  However, the rest of it ranges so much!  I couldn't believe it! 

I wanted a place with the following characteristics:
(1) close to our home
(2) opened early
(3) closed late
(4) let us pick her up at any time
(5) started caring for the baby at infancy
(6) helped work on developmental phases
(7) taught Spanish

I found one with ALL of these!  After calling about 15 places (not exaggerating), I decided to go see Neighborhood Academy.  It's apparently the priciest in Lubbock.  It's funny, because I finally see the "cost of living" that people talk about.  My cousin and his wife are also having a baby and they're paying $1200/ month in San Antonio.  In Lubbock, I'm paying about half that and it's the nicest here?  That's nuts to me!  This place is wonderful though.  I had called around to quite a few places and they made it very apparent that they did not do "unannounced" tours.  This bothered me.  I don't want to see what you're like with my child when I'm THERE.  I want to see how you act when I'm not around.  I showed up around 5:45 (they close at 6) and instead of huffing and puffing because they all wanted to go home, I got a 30 minute tour and by the time I had left, I knew this is where Liliana HAD to be. 

Let's go through the list:
(1) the daycare is approximately 1.8 minutes away from our house...I think that counts as close! haha.  If I am lucky enough to get the job at Craig, Terrill, Hale & Grantham (which is looking less and less likely by the way, but that's a whole other blog post), the new office is literally across the street from the day care.  I would have a 3 minute commute to work including dropping off the baby.  That was THE BEST part of it.  But even if I don't work at that firm, having it so close to the house is AWESOME.
(2) the daycare opens at 7:30.  This is great!  When I have trial at 8 in downtown Lubbock, I can drop her off and yes it will be close, but I'll still make it!  Most places do open this early, so this didn't really sway me either way.
(3) This was a BIGGIE.  ALL the places I had called thus far closed at 5 or 5:30.  If only I was fortunate to have that kind of job...but I won't be.  NOBODY leaves the firm that early.  Having it close at 6 is awesome.  I can leave the building at 5:50 and be there 8 minutes early. : )
(4) This was another thing that struck me from some other day cares.  They told me they "strongly discouraged" parents picking up at random hours because it "distracted their teaching environments."  Whatever.  When Evan has been on call for 30 hours straight and hasn't seen his little girl, he won't care about "distracting" Liliana's advanced 14 month teaching environment (sense sarcasm there? haha).  This daycare didn't mind if he happened to pick her up at 2 p.m.  He needs to spend time with her whenever he'll get the chance.  He was really glad that the daycare allowed him to do this, especially since it's so close to the house, he'll just get her on his way home.  I told him I thought he could come home, take a nap, and then go get her, but he said "we'll see" which means "I'll just have her sleep on my chest..." ; )  AWWW...
(5) Alot of daycares don't start as early as 6 weeks.  They'll do 12 weeks or even not until they're 12 months.  However, hopefully I'll be working!  Neighborhood starts at 3 weeks.  We won't need them that early because Evan is taking the month of July off so she'll be at least 6 weeks before we're needing any kind of care.
(6) This is the reason why this daycare is the "nicest" in Lubbock.  They're big on helping with developmental stages.  They have a room for each stage of a child's life and don't divide it by age, but by their progress.  For instance, once the child starts becoming more mobile (whenever that is, even if it's at 7 months), they move them to Nursery II so that they can SEE others moving and this makes them want to start moving as well.  I'm really big on this.  I think that seeing other children can really help in many ways.  It makes them more sociable, it makes them have something to compare themselves against, AND most importantly, it gives them someone to play with! 
(7) Can you believe it?  THEY TEACH SPANISH!  They have a fluent Spanish speaker with a degree in Education (other than Nursery I, all other teachers have college degrees - impressive, and perhaps even overkill, but still...it can't hurt right?).  At 9 months they start teaching them their sign language (which honestly, I don't care too much about), but they also integrate LANGUAGES!  Now this, I care about.  I REALLY want Liliana to be fluent in Spanish.  Evan wants this even more than I do I think.  His Spanish is amazing and I think he wishes that he would've started learning from birth as opposed to his twenties.  They teach them German and French (which is neat because Annie can help strengthen this) as well, but I mainly care about the Spanish.

It had all my characteristics...great.  BUT, even better, it SUPERSEDED my expectations.  My other two favorite things were:
- Liliana can stay there until after graduating from kindergarten!  They have a room all the way until age of 6 and I like the idea of her staying and getting a little group of friends.  The convenience to the house and the fact that the price doesn't go up as they grow (most do) is neat.  The teachers will get close to her and I know that means better care.
- OK, so sue me...this one is kinda stupid: they have web cams in EVERY room so we can log on and see!!  HOW COOL IS THAT?? Some people apparently don't like that because they say "why pay for this?"  But it's included in the price each month.  My family is so excited about this.  As long as I give them the password, they can log on and watch her whenever they'd like.  Whenever I'm having "Mommy separation anxiety" I can log on and see that she's happy playing with her friends.  Whenever Evan's been on call for a million days in a row and missing her, he can log on and see his beautiful baby girl missing her Daddy.

The day care find was awesome. Since Evan was on call when I toured, I told her I wanted my husband to see it before we were set.  Plus, I didn't have enough cash on me to pay the deposit and they didn't take credit cards.  I asked her if she could keep our spot on my promise and she said yes.  Evan went the next afternoon, fell in love as well and paid the deposit.  It was a good thing we paid too because it was their LAST SPOT!  At first I thought she might be kidding since it's for August (note: 6 months away!!), but someone called the morning after I toured and she told them someone had promised to come pay that day so they were out of luck.  It really really was meant to be!  I decided to go look on a whim, and I am so thankful I did! Had we gone the next day, our spot would have been gone!

After the deposit was paid, I realized, "I still don't have a job."  I kept saying I'd find the day care when the timing was right, so maybe I need to relax about the job, keep searching, and it'll come when the time is right. Yeah, that'll have to be my new mind set...keep searching, be aggressive, and I'll get the job that I was supposed to get.