I Can Be A Parent!

The first of the month is usually a big deal around our house because it usually means Daddy starts a new rotation.  This will change in July when Evan officially starts his Urology years, but during his general surgery year, he switches rotations every month.  This month he is doing Nephrology (kidneys) which is a required month for all Urologists (kidney stones any one?).

Therefore, each month is a new adventure for us.  This month we had no idea what his schedule would be like and then the fellow told him what time they rounded at.  It is MUCH later than when they round on Surgery rotations.  Nephrology isn't a surgical field so they don't have to get people in to the OR. 

Evan sent me a text around 3 pm yesterday saying "I can take Liliana to day care most mornings because I can get to the hospital at 8:30 instead of 5:30!  I can be a parent!!!"

I couldn't help but crack up laughing when I saw that message.  What a great Daddy huh?  Instead of thinking "I get to sleep in to a normal hour for the first time in a year, he thought 'I get to take my daughter to daycare for the first time in a year.'"

I have to admit I was REALLY excited about this development.  I have taken Liliana to daycare every single day without a break and while I don't mind it, the thought of being able to simply drive to work sounded appealing.

And then this morning, I was about to leave to work and ... I didn't like it ONE BIT.  I didn't like the car being that quiet.  I didn't like leaving her at home to spend another 20 minutes with Daddy before they had to leave.  It was, quite honestly, not fun!  I won't take it away from him obviously, because this is the only month in a 5 year span that he'll get this luxury, but it sure does make you realize how much you love certain things and how I was obviously taking that 15 minute car ride foregranted.  Hearing her tell me "this is Liliana's shoe!" and "this is Mommy's car!" and "quiero escuelita! (I love school)" is nice.  The good news is I still get pick up duty ... it's evenly split, so it's rather perfect for now.

So last night, as we marveled at the later start time to his day for the next 4 weeks (have you noticed it's the little things in life that keep you going?), we did something a little ... CRAZY.

Gloria's nursery and the playroom are nearly done (just waiting on a couple projects to be sewed by Evan's aunt) and instead of taking off of decorating responsibilities, we've decided this is optimal time to get working on more rooms in the house since we'll be too busy to do that for a few months after Gloria is born.

We decided that the master bedroom was our next room to tackle and we've known that for a couple weeks but have been LAZY BUMS about getting any of it done.  Evan and I were lying in bed last night cuddling and I told him "you know what would get us started?  If we moved our headboard out of here, transposed it in to the guest room, and had a blank wall!"  I said it mainly as a joke.  Evan didn't think I was joking.

The master bedroom now looks HORRENDOUS and plans to decorate it are underway.  I say plans because the only thing we have so far is the cover to a pillow I ordered on etsy.  This pillow will serve as inspiration to our master bedroom.  Let the planning begin!

This pillow up front is what I ordered from etsy for $20.  We are going to incorporate light blues, light greys, and a couple splashes of that yellow/ green in to the room design.

This pillow is the one that originally caught my eye but it was $70.  The $20 one won ... for obvious $50 savings!

A Failure

I'm not going to lie ... this week has been really tough.  When Evan left the house this morning he told me "this has been my worst week of residency, ever."  And he just might be right.

He has worked SUCH long hours this week and what makes it even harder is there is no end in sight.  I do the best I can, but I am just TIRED.  Not necessarily sleepy (though I am that too) but just TIRED. 

Tired of doing EVERYTHING.  Tired of being a stay at home Mom, and a full time working Mom, and having NO help. 

I'm admittedly getting irritable around others because of it.  When I hear others saying "it's just so hard" I admittedly think in my head "please!  You don't have to work!"  or "Please!  You take your kid to Grandma's three times a week!"  And I HATE thinking like that.  It's a seed of jealousy and that's the truth.  And really and truly, my life is brilliant.  And sometimes that's why it's best to write things out, just like this post, because I haven't been honest enough with myself to think that this entire week.

Instead I've just stewed inside.  This is something I have REALLY tried to rid myself of the last few years.  Like I've posted about many times, I was, deep down an unhappy person in my third year of law school.  This is another post for another day (and one that I just haven't been GUTSY enough to write before), but I went through some depression during my pregnancy with Liliana.  Ironically enough, didn't have one shred of it after delivering (which is much more common than during pregnancy).  Regardless, the day that I cried myself a lake about hating what I was doing with my life, I really tried to become a new person.

A fresher person.  A happier person.  A person more true and honest to herself.  I learned to be happy for others instead of constantly jealous.  I learned to relish the good in life and to not let things get to me as much.

Have I done this perfectly the last 2 years?  OF COURSE NOT.  NOBODY and I repeat NOBODY is free from these types of feelings.

But this past week, I've felt like it's resurfacing.  Not the depression during pregnancy.  I can HAPPILY say I haven't had any this pregnancy and that is something Evan and I discussed MULTIPLE times before getting pregnant this go around.  It's a big part of why I exercise throughout pregnancy.  They say exercise greatly helps with depression and I am LIVING proof of it helping TREMENDOUSLY with it.

When I say resurfacing, I mean just the constant thoughts of "WHEN is this going to end?" "WHEN will Evan actually leave at a decent hour?  WHEN will he get to see his daughter for more than 20 minutes a day (or at all for that matter)?  WHEN will we catch a stinking break?  WHEN will we get to watch a movie together without one of us falling asleep because we have so much on our plates?"

And what makes it really difficult is nobody really understands.  My Aunt does, but she's a counselor for petes sake, so this is her thing.  Every week or so, she sends me a text simply saying "I love you and miss you."  OR she'll at least ACKNOWLEDGE it and say "you both are SO strong!  I can't believe you keep going."  Just having somebody say that ... GOODNESS that goes a long way.  It's her way of saying "hang in there.  This is rough.  You're doing well."  It's not that I need credit.  It's hard to explain.  I don't want somebody playing violins in the background for me.  I just want the simple "we notice" every now and then instead of the "well this is how it goes!"  OR "I had it worse!" OR "does he really work THAT hard?" (all things we've heard btw)

But when people get on Evan about not calling them?  NOT the way to go.  And when you put pressure on us about tiny little details?  NOT the way to go. 

I guess I'm saying, a break would be nice...and not from others really.  The ONLY culprit is residency. 

And the break?  It's not coming.  Evan's on call ALL stinking weekend and he won't see Liliana today (for the third night out of four this week). (caveat: I always mention in these kinds of posts that I know being a surgery residents wife doesn't even compare to what others go through.  I'm sorry.  I just need a space to write out my frustrations too. Please understand).

I feel like a big complainer.  I truly do.  I am so frustrated with my mind and brain for thinking like this.  I LOVE having Liliana.  It's funny because back when she was 13 or 14 months old, I would look at that clock praying for the time to fly by so I could get a break and put her down for sleep. 

Now?  I HATE 8:00.  I hate putting my toddler who love life to the fullest down for night night.  I LOVE spending time with her. She makes me laugh.  She makes the time fly.  She is the light in my life through this and I am so grateful that Liliana has been around this year.  She has been Mommy's rock and she doesn't know it, but she has helped this year become much more tolerable.

I'm not going to lie ... this isn't easy on a marriage.  It's not to say that we've been fighting more than usual.  It's not to say anything.  It's hard to maintain a feeling of closeness when, at best, your only communication is a couple text messages throughout the day.  We text as often as possible, and usually my job is the more flexible in terms of being able to answer texts, but we're still both very busy and it's difficult to find time during the day.  We NEVER get phone calls in during the day, and if we do, it's usually because there is some kind of emergency and we HAVE to communicate.  I think this frustrates Evan because he comes home and I'm tired and moody.  I'm not in the mood to be chipper anymore.  And in turn, that just makes him feel even worse for being gone so much.  There isn't any perfect solution to this.  Our answer?  We stay up entirely too late talking, kissing, and being together and trying to lump 3 hours of quality time in to 30 minutes. 

We try to make the most of the time we have together (for the most part) but when he's working 15/ 16 hour days and when I'm in my third trimester and have worked a full time job, worked out, cooked dinner, folded laundry, made doctor's appointments, decorated a nursery, etc., saying "HI SWEETY!  Look at this 5 course meal that I made for you!" isn't going to happen either.

Our marriage is by NO MEANS in trouble.  It's not that.  It's just that this does suck.  And, this is just the way it is.

Yesterday, Evan got home around 8:00 and like I said, that's Liliana's bed time.  At least he got to see her.  It was a hell of a lot better than arriving a little before 11 pm like the evening before. 

When he got home, she was sitting on her dresser as we were picking out her pajamas.  She EXCLAIMED "DADDY!!!" since she hasn't seen him all week.  She gave us the sincerest look on her face and EMBRACED the two of us, together as a family.  After a few seconds, she pulled away, looked at us IN THE EYES, and went in for another family embrace (four in total).  She initiated it all.  I KNOW in my heart, she was telling us she was glad to have her family together.  And it BROKE MY HEART.  I nearly broke down and cried, though I didn't.

Because I can't.

Because though we keep telling ourselves "this will get better" that's what we said when his new rotation started, and that was 8 weeks ago.  So when I get a text saying "I think today will be a decent day" I don't even get my hopes up anymore.  I still know it won't be. 

And I know the truth of the matter is this is what happens when your husband is a surgeon in his residency.  And YES, before you say I need to be proud of him and be supportive ... I AM!  I find it BEYOND sexy that my husband is a brilliant man that helps people all day.  And I know that this will only be 4 years longer (can I say ONLY for another FOUR FREAKIN years?).  And I am doing MY BEST.

But I'm human.

And I'm working on these feelings right now.  I'm TRYING to work through them.

This week, I'm failing at it.

Learning to Let Things Go

Last week I wrote a post that was pretty difficult to write.  It's not like anything is technically WRONG, it just spoke about the frustrating life of having a husband who is a surgery resident.  I intended it to be one post, be over and done with, and before I knew it I had written the worlds LONGEST post and barely even scratched the surface. 

I don't necessarily have plans to make this topic a regular on my blog, but like I said before, it consumes SO much of our lives and of my mind that I felt like a fraud not writing about it.  More importantly, I WANTED to write about it.  Writing is so cathartic for me.  It helps me truly understand how I feel about things and it just helps me be HONEST with myself.  Sometimes I'll read over the blog months later and laugh at how small some of these details seem now but how BIG they were then.  That's part of life and I'm sick of fearing it.

Last weeks post was all about learning to LET THINGS BE and LETTING THINGS GO. 

This weekend was a PERFECT example of that.  Evan was on call all weekend which meant he was practically gone the entire time. He will be doing his Urology rotation in March and April.  We THOUGHT that meant his schedule would be lighter and hoped as such since he'll be doing ONLY Urology for the next four years.  So far, he has been busier than ANY other rotation this year.  The good news?  He enjoys the field and the work.  SO important.  If you HAVE to be gone all day and night, might as well like your job right?

He was up and at the hospital for about 4 hours on Friday night (broken up in two different cases).  Saturday morning he was at the hospital from 6:30 am - 1:30 pm.  When he got home, he put Liliana down for her nap and took a nap on the livingroom floor while I worked on Liliana's birthday party invitations.  After their nap, we headed out to Kroger to be together as a family for the first time that weekend.  Not two minutes from the house, guess whose pager went off?  BACK he went.

Fortunately, it was a short consult and he joined us for dinner with some friends.  Saturday evening was tough.  He got paged while getting ready for bed and was gone for a few hours.  He didn't have to go back after 2 am, but did get paged multiple times and was back at the hospital by 6:45.  He was able to join us for a big brunch with friends on Sunday and we were hoping the rest of the day would be lovely.  WRONG.  He took another nap while Liliana napped and got paged during his nap.  He left and RIGHT after he left I realized my keys and cell phone were in his car.  In other words, Liliana and I were TRAPPED!  So ... here comes that letting things go motto ...

I had PLANS to go grocery shopping while he was at the hospital.  I do my grocery shopping for the week on Sundays.  I make a weekly menu and we stick to it pretty stringently, even though it's hard to plan our lives much.  I made the most of it doing things that needed to get done around the house, but by the time Evan got home (4 hours later) I was too beat to head to the grocery store.  Fortunately, my husband is an angel, insisted I get a break, took Liliana to the grocery store with him, brought her home, gave her a shower and put her down for sleep, made himself a sandwich, and finally plopped down on the couch with me around 9:30. 

BUSY weekend to say the least.  And like I said, I just have to learn to let things go.  This business of being unable to go grocery shopping would have FREAKED ME OUT before, but now I just know "he probably won't be home for hours so let's be resourceful here," is what we have to do.  And we did.

I missed my husband TERRIBLY this weekend.  It doesn't really feel like weekends when they're gone so much.  It might as well have been a Monday or Tuesday for me.  Even though I don't go to work like I do during the week, I don't get the same feeling of relaxation that I do when we're together.  I'm so lucky that Liliana is an absolute angel and gives me NO problems.  I rarely hold her any longer, mainly because she's 22 months and doesn't require it, but also because she's a BIG girl and it isn't comfortable with my growing pregnancy belly.  She is very independent and if she wants to read a book, she'll go get her book, bring it to me, say "read Mommy!" and plop on my lap.  We have an amazing time together and I love that she keeps me company.

One way that Evan and I have copped with not being able to talk as much as we'd like to is ... believe it or not ... email.  We email each other a few times a day (similar to texting but the texts were getting so long that we reverted back to good 'ol email).  Sometimes they're silly, sometimes they're saying things that I want to make sure I don't forget to let him know (ex: I sent him one today saying "don't call lawn guy, I just left him a voicemail saying we need him to come desparately."), sometimes they're sexy, sometimes they're romantic, etc.  It's just a good way to let the other person know we're thinking of them throughout the day.  Yes, we did this before he started residency, but we do it more than we used to.  We used to text each other daily ... now we WRITE each other.  Talking on the phone isn't an option, so we use the next best thing.  My favorite part about it?  He tells me things such as "i can't wait to tell you the story about _______ later today."  Don't worry people, he NEVER violates HIPAA.  But him emailing to tell me that gets me SO excited just to share some stories with him while lying in bed that evening. 

It sounds like this weekend was all negative.  NOT THE CASE.  We did have some time on Saturday evening before he got paged.  And we did something we haven't done in MONTHS.  We played a board game together! It was actually Evan's idea.  It made us not just watch a TV show or be inactive.  We played for at least an hour and had SUCH a GREAT GREAT time.  We laughed and just shared a nice US time break.  Highly recommend the game because it's for 2 players so couples can have a nice romantic/ fun time.  Great husband right?  Already worked 60 hours in a weekend and still recommending sweet things?  I hit the jackpot.

This game is a good way to keep learning about each other.  I actually commented on how differently our minds worked.  There are certain "categories" that I was horrible at and Evan exceled in.  And then there were some that Evan could just not do and those were my strengths! 

Sharing a different, unique, fun moment like that was the highlight of my weekend.  Hopefully we'll play again next weekend when he's OFF FROM WORK!  That's right TOTALLY OFF from work!  WOO HOO!  Liliana's daycare has their annual easter egg hunt on Saturday and we're ALL going...time to train somebody to find some eggs!!!   ; )

What Our Life is REALLY Like

I've decided to start a series of posts on the REAL us.  I feel like so much of this blog has become superficial.  And while that might be more fun for others to read, the truth of the matter is I'm describing 5% of what goes on in our lives.  The other 95% has finally decided to have a voice.

I started this yesterday and couldn't quite form the words.  I would start it and keep hitting delete over and over again.  I want to write about what I honestly feel inside.  Some people might not like it but the thing is?  I'm writing this for ME. It's cathartic to help me deal with the very stressful way we have been living since July. If it helps someone else going through similar situations, that's gravy baby.

SO ... what I originally thought would be one post will be a series of posts about the real us and how we've managed this year.  This is all about what it's like to be a resident (more specifically a surgery resident) and what it's like to be the spouse of a resident.

I don't know why I haven't written about it.  I think I didn't want to sound like a complainer because I realize we are so blessed Evan received a Urology residency spot when there are literally hundreds of medical students each year that don't match to Urology at all, much less get their first choice.  I also don't want to sound weak.  It's a hard adjustment for me but I feel horrible complaining when I know there are military families out there that don't see their spouses for a year.

But I just had to write about it.  This is the real us.  This is what life is like for us on a daily basis and while writing about my belly or a mobile in the corner of a room is definitely more fun to write about, it isn't the real stuff. 

I've learned some things in these 10 months of him being a resident.  I have not at all mastered the things I have learned, but I am adjusting.  I think I'll be adjusting until he finishes residency and then we'll adjust to the new norm. 

The first thing I had to learn:

You will HAVE to let some things go.

One thing that is VERY frustrating about Evan's residency is the lack of normalcy in our lives.  On any given day, I have NO absolute idea what time he'll be headed home.  For instance, it sure is hard to plan dinners when I don't even know if he'll be home at all.  If people invite us out to dinner on any given day, I NEVER promise he'll attend b/c 90% of the time, he wouldn't be able to make it.  Sure I would love to have my husband's company and to feel like a family, but I know it just isn't the reality. 

Let's look at this week for instance: on Monday night, he got home late (around 8 pm after working a 14.5 hour day) but was on call.  He got a call at 9 pm and had to head back to the hospital.  He didn't return until about 1 am.  He got another call at 2 am and returned by 3 am this time.  He got yet ANOTHER call at 4 am and since he had to be back at 6 am anyway, he knew he wouldn't be coming back home.  Therefore, I didn't see him that day.  When he kissed me goodbye at 4 am after having been gone all night I would be lying if I didn't say I had some tears in my eyes.  I try not to show him how sad I am.  I try to act like Liliana and I are strong, but we do have our moments of weakness.  We do miss him tremendously.  I cry less often than I used to.  That's for sure.  I've grown accustomed to eating dinner on my own with Liliana.  As she grows it has gotten easier because she truly keeps me company now.  And even though I have made GREAT friends here, there is nothing like the company of your best friend to get you through the days and nights.

Tuesday during the day, he was BEAT because he had to work all day and I was dead tired too!  Having him come in to bed to just get a loud page less than an hour later gets tiring.  Tuesday, he was home at 6 pm, only worked 12 hours, and we had a lovely evening together ... well, except for the fact that we fell asleep nearly immediately after putting Liliana to sleep because we were so sleepy!  That's the thing.  When you finally are off, you just want to sleep.  Last night, he got home at 8 pm again and was on call.  He didn't have to leave this time!  HOORAY!  Having the last two nights to cuddle in bed and sleep together was glorious.  He did get paged a few times and that's always a damper on watching the new airing of Psych (one of our favorites) but I will gladly take the kind of night that we had on Wednesday versus Monday.  So that's how this week went.  As you can see, completely and totally unpredictable.  It changes DAY by DAY. 

And being a spouse through it all?

I'm obviously the one that always takes Liliana to and from daycare.  Our daycare obviously isn't open 24 hours a day and plus, I would miss her too much if I relied on Evan to get her.  I get Liliana ready every morning and never have help with that.  I'm not trying to sound like a complainer, and I'm sorry that this post does sound like that.  I'm just saying it does get tiring.  Sure everynow and then, I would love to just head to work.  To not have to think about getting breakfast ready everyday.  To just have no responsibility other than heading to work.  Or just to have somebody else wake her up (even though that is one of my favorite moments of the day because she's adorable when you wake her up).  After dropping her off, I head to work and inevitably every day at work I have some personal business that has to get done.  I hate admitting that, but for instance, this week it's taxes.  I filed our federal taxes over spring break but have to submit our state taxes by paper and that takes more time.  It takes phone calls in to the IRS etc.  I can't call when I get home from work because they're closed!  Getting stuff done is difficult when you work full-time so I have to fit it in somehow while still working.  Usually this means I stay later at work to get everything accomplished and that's ok.  Just, like I've said, gets tiring.

I can't rely on Evan to do these things because the boy doesn't even have time to use the restroom during the day.  He rarely gets to eat lunch.  And plus, why would I have him call anyway?  He's in Surgery often or seeing patients constantly so if somebody did have to call him back, he couldn't answer. He tries his HARDEST to help when he can.  When he worked nights, our house had SO much work done to it because he wanted to do his part.  He always mentions that.  I know he's doing what he can and I'm frankly amazed at what he does get accomplished.  I tell him all the time that I don't have his strength and that he is inspiring getting it all done, still being an excellent father, a resident, and a husband.  It's incredible really. That being said, this has been a HUGE adjustment for me.  Evan and I have been a 50/50 couple since day 1 with parenting and household decisions.  It is HARD being the full-time everything: work, Mom, and stay-at-home responsibilities.  It has been hard to do this ...

TO LET GO.

That's what I've had to do.  Our laundry always gets done, but the laundry often sits in the dryer overnight without being folded (as it is right now) because I'm simply too damn tired to fold it.  I wanted to get all taxes DONE and in the mail on Monday.  I still haven't had Evan sign them.  This is just the way of things.  It gets done eventually.  Maybe not as quickly or as effectively as I'd like, but this is the new norm and will be for 4 more years (yes he chose a 5 year residency! DARN him. j/k).  I'm LEARNING to let these things happen.  It's not easy. 

I'm not going to lie.  I get frustrated with the situation often.  I feel like his career is what dictates our lives while mine is just kinda sitting there.  I work full-time and Evan ALWAYS asks how my day was, but on a VERY rare occassion does my career truly affect our lives.  If I have a late meeting, I know I can't rely on him to get Liliana.  I know it's up to me to figure something out.  This does get old and I know it's not his fault.  I know that this training is ESSENTIAL to his being an excellent doctor.  And he is.  And I am so proud of him.

For now, the way I think about it is: I don't let it run my life as much.  I used to sit around at home waiting for him to give me an ETA.  Now, I just go do things that need to get done.  If he gets out early, Liliana and I run home to spend time with him.  This rarely happens however.  We like to joke that when i do finally leave to head to the gym, he's home 45 minutes later.  If I wouldn't head to the gym, he would be stuck at the hospital until midnight.  So when he calls and I'm on the treadmill, I boost up that speed, finish my workout earlier, and go give him a sweaty hug.  It's the way it has to be.  And it's the REAL us.

It's Over.

One of the things I don't like about blogging is that it's not private.  While I do like sharing stories, recipes, and ideas and seeing them on others blogs, it's also hard sometimes because the things that are really close to my heart have to stay hidden.

That's what has been going on the last 6 weeks. 

I have barely seen Evan the last six weeks.  When I say barely, I mean it. 

You see, Evan was on night float the last 6 weeks.  And truly, it sucked.  So bad.

So bare with me, I'm going to be complaining and WHINE a ton on this blog post, but it's been building for 6 weeks .... sorry.

Night float is a system where in the residents go in around 5 pm and come home around 6:30 am.  They usually have one night off over the weekend and that was our saving grace.  That one night every 2 weeks.  We lived for it.

Don't know if you're aware of this, but this 5 pm to 6:30 am schedule is kinda the exact OPPOSITE schedule of most working people's schedules. 

For the last six weeks, this has been our routine:

I RUSH out of work right at 4 o'clock so that I can get home around 4:20.  Evan leaves the house around 4:30.  Ten minutes of quality family time right there.  Actually usually it consisted of Liliana struggling with the fact that Daddy was leaving again and us trying to calm her down.  She HATES it when he gets his keys.  In fact, our daughter now calls keys "bye byes."  Isn't that sad?  We've tried teaching her llaves (Spanish for keys) but in her mind, they're the thing that Daddy picks up when it's time to go for the evening. 

After Evan would leave, Liliana and I would have our evenings together.  Fortunately the girl was AMAZING the last 6 weeks.  We have (KNOCK ON WOOD!) made it through this ENTIRE season without Liliana even getting a fever.  Strongest immune system I'm telling you.  The girl is in daycare every single day and her daycare was infultrated with some pretty serious stuff this year.  She came out unscathed somehow.  So usually Liliana and I would have a snack (sharing a little Kraft Macaroni and an apple), play and read book after book after book, and around 6 o'clock, we would head to the gym 3 times a week.  After that it was usually bath then bed.  By the time that I would come downstairs, eat my own dinner, and clean up around the house I was EXHAUSTED. 

I was essentially a single Mom and let me tell you, I respect women that do it.  SO stinking much.  When I would sit down around 8:30, I just wanted to not get up. 

The roughest part of it all?  I slept like SHIT the entire time.  And yes, shit is the correct word.  I woke up AT LEAST once an hour the ENTIRE 6 weeks.  I have been exhausted because I've never gotten in to my REM cycles. 

I don't know exactly why I sleep so poorly when Evan is gone.  My body is tired, my mind is tired, and I even take a sleeping pill as an anti-nausea medication but still, I wake up often.  I could usually fall asleep around midnight, but I wake up at six every morning and would wake up around 6 times a night.  Do the math and that's not enough sleep for a pregnant lady!  I'm pretty convinced that's why I got sick a few weeks ago.  Lack of sleep really messes with the body.

I'm just used to his arms cuddling me and being by myself TERRIFIES me.  I worried people were in the house and all these stupid overdramatic things.  Sure we have a kick butt alarm in our house, but I still don't like people knowing when he's not home so I couldn't share.

Evan would usually get home RIGHT as my alarm was going off in the morning (or sometimes while I was in the shower getting ready for work).  At this point, he would crash for about 30 minutes and then would wake up again so he could get Liliana ready for the day and make my breakfast.  It was another 10 minutes we got together.

So far, we're at 20 minutes a day.  And that's all she wrote.  BLAH.

But today is March 1st.  And nights are DONE.  FOREVER!  FOREVER!  Yes, that's right.  I get to sleep in Evan's nook and be a happy wife and we get to be a happy family.  YAY!  To make things evern better, Evan is doing his Urology rotation this month which he, naturally, is REALLY excited for.  The worst of this Surgery intern year is OVER.  AMAZING.

Evan worked last night and transitioned straight to days today.  In other words, he hasn't slept for over 24 hours.  But tonight when I get home from work, we will have dinner TOGETHER as a family, put Liliana to bed as a FAMILY, and fall asleep (probably 30 minutes after because we're both BEAT!) together as a HAPPY couple. 

: )