Friday, April 30, 2010

How to be a Parent Part II

So approximately four weeks ago, I posted Evan's and I first three rules for parenting.  The first segment is here.

To recap though, our first three rules are: 
(1) No TV in the children's bedroom
(2) No Significant others in the children's bedroom
(3) 1 sport, 1 musical activity: maximum of 2 activities.

Well, since I'm officially in my 34th week, I figured that today would be a great day to continue on another three rules.

Allowance is to be earned
Similarly to the "no TV in children's bedroom rule" Evan's pretty adamant about this rule.  He was actually the creator of this rule.
Our parents had completely different rules with allowance growing up.  Evan got a very organized and set amount of money each month.  He did not have chores he had to do, it was just given to him. When they had chores they wanted the children to do (such as pulling weeds), they just told them to do it.  But they never had a set thing each week.
My allowance was never set.  I usually just went to to my Dad and said he hadn't given me lunch money for over a month and he remarked with a funny "you chunk-o, you shouldn't be eating as much" and would give me a kiss on the cheek and occasionally would remember that sure enough, he hadn't given me allowance in a while.  (by the way, my Dad is amazing...if some random person happens to read this blog, he wasn't serious about the chunk-o thing.  He always told me he thought I was too skinny if anything.  My Dad just jokes around a lot, this is our relatinoship and it's tough to explain, but we're really really close.)
I did have some chores to do, but must admit, it really wasn't bad.  I cleared the table and washed dishes in the evening and during the summers, I made my parents bed and watered the plants on the days the cleaning lady didn't come.  Like I said, I really was quite privileged and spoiled.
My parents did do one thing that I liked a lot though.  Starting my senior year of high school, the cleaning lady was not permitted to enter my room.  This meant that I started doing laundry, cleaning my room, etc.  I think this is a brilliant idea.  At least by the time I went to college, I knew how to handle a clogged toilet, sink, and how to get rid of lines on the bottom of my bath tub.  I know I was privileged, I'm not saying I wasn't.  I just at least appreciate that they did make me do this for a year. 
My Dad has told me before that one regret he has as a parent is that we (as in my siblings and I) had it too easy.  As much as I hate to admit it, I think he's right.  Evan thinks him and his siblings had it too easy as well.  For this reason, I do agree with Evan's rule.  Allowance will be earned and will be set as it was in his household. I like the organized method that his Mom set.  That fits with my personality too.  Each week the children will have different chores.  If they don't complete their chores, then no allowance...too bad, so sad.

Family Date Night Once a Month
This rule mainly will start to apply once the children want to go out on the weekends to be with their friends.  We're stealing this rule from my family, not Evan's.  Evan family had a tougher time accomplishing this because they were often at swim meets on the weekends, but even if our children are swimmers, they'll have to somehow set aside a night.  I have to admit, my family likes spending time together!  We didn't see spending time together as a punishment ever.  I think with Evan and his siblings, this was even easier to accomplish because they were all boys in the same age range.  But since Danny and I are of the opposite sex and nearly 8 years apart, it was good to make this a set rule.  So, once a month, it was a rule...we went out on a family date night: no significant others allowed.  The great thing about this was that we rotated who got to choose the date night.  While my family was good about spending time together (watching Spurs games or eating dinner together), we rarely did go out bowling together.  This rule made that happen, and I LOVED it.
We did lots of fun thigns together.  For instance, my Dad might choose going out to dinner as a family and we'd go to a really nice restaurant, not a quick meal.  It was the EVENING that we spent together.  I chose to go bowling.  Danny chose to go to Dave and Busters.  My Mom always chose really cute things too: going to see a play at the Majestic.
I'm already excited for these monthly date nights.  I hope our children enjoy them as much as I did.

No Friends in the Car for First FOUR Months
Our kids will hate this rule, but I think all parents have a similar rule.  In my family, this rule was for the first 6 months, and obviously since Carlos' death, it's completely understandable why they had it.  Evan's parents had this rule too...I think there's was for the first 3 months, thefore, four seems like a fair compromise.
 One thing we'll change from our parents though, is that we'll actually check up on them.  We both cheated with this rule!  We were stupid teenagers!! I don't know how we'll do it, but if it takes me sitting outside the movie theatre to make sure they're the only ones getting in the car, then that's what we'll do.  Having a car is a privilege.  If they don't follow the rules, then they'll get it taken away for a little while.

I just realized that with all these rules we seem like we'll be really strict.  We probably will be.  Correction: I will be. I think Evan will be more flexible than I will be, but not for everything.  I think I'll feel guilty and he'll have a much more "eh, they'll learn to deal with it" approach.
While I know we'll be strict for certain things, I also know that I want our children to be happy.  We will be fun parents.  This might be a great thing about the fact that we got pregnant sooner in life than we had intended.  We'll remember what it's like to be a teenager: it sucked ass.  I hope I remember that.

Hope you liked this part of the series!  More to come in a few weeks I'm sure...we still have quite a few more written down!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Power of Parents

Well, last week was obviously tough.  It seemed like it was one thing after another:
(1) Friday: find out that the firm I've been clerking for for nearly a year isn't hiring an associate for the following year
(2) Sunday: spotting on Sunday and a 2 hour stay at the hospital
(3) Monday: Maggie attacks Linda and we rush Linda to the hospital
(4) Tuesday: We have to give Maggie away
(5) Wednesday: We receive a bill from the insurance company that we'll have to pay for 100% of any diagnostic exams from here on out in the pregnancy because we exceeded our limit AND our roof started leaking AND the electrician came with a $150 bill
(6) Thursday: I have an interview with a community college here to head the student services division and it could have gone better.
(7) Friday: All parents came to town! : )

Parent's visits are the BEST!  On Friday, I got home and kept working on my big project for law office management (I just turned it in 25 minutes ago and the project was 56 pages, seriously, not kidding, 56 freaking pages).  While I did that, Evan cleaned the house (really well I might add).  When they arrived, I suddenly felt like this huge weight lifted off my shoulders.  Parents always figure out your solutions to problems and for three days, I felt like I didn't need to Mommy and Daddy would figure out all our problems.  ; )

Friday night we went out to dinner and had a great time and saw the Spurs beat the Mavericks in an amazing nail biting game.  On Saturday, Evan and my Dad fixed the roof themselves after a quick trip to Lowe's and here I thought we were going to have to pay a roofing company a few hundred/ thousand bucks!  That was AWESOME.  Then, we all went to Lowe's and Abuela paid for a BUNCH of stuff to help landscape the house in the front yard and backyard for our yearly spring planting.  This saved us another $200.  While they were planting, my Dad and I worked on fixing the scratch marks on our doors that Maggie used to make when there were thunderstorms.  In one day, they made so many "to-do's" become "complete."

On Sunday, Evan and I made them one of our famous brunch items: strawberry cream cheese filled french toast.  One of these days, when I get to posting some of my great recipes, I'll post this one.  It's EASY and holy crap it tastes amazing.

This week has been a little better and honestly, I'm so relieved.  I don't think we could have taken more things going wrong.  One great change is that after talking with the accounting department here at the health sciences center, we discovered that my insurance company had made a big mistake and our limit for diagnostic exams was $1,500 DAILY, not YEARLY as they had originally charged.  Our bill went from a ghastly scary terrifying number to $100 bucks total.  YAY!

Another wonderful change is Evan's being in Family Medicine now and not surgery!  Guess who left the house at a completely reasonable 7:30 a.m. on Monday and was home at 5?  Yesterday, he was home even earlier!

I am a fan of this rotation and am definetely starting to become a fan of this if only the Spurs would close out this series, this week would kick last weeks ass.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Week 33 Survey

How far along? 33 weeks tomorrow
Maternity clothes?
I wish they made maternity shoes for my big ugly swollen feet!  My feet have started hurting this week which hadn't been too much of a problem before that.  I've heard alot of women like really soft, squishy flip flops but I (at least for now) refuse to buy something for only a few weeks of use.  The maternity purchases already frustrate me enough.  But, if they made cute maternity shoes that were comfier than usual, then I might be willing to fork over the cash.

Stretch marks?
No sir!  Alright! : ) 

You know, even if it isn't my back killing me, I rarely get very deep sleep any more.  I miss that.  I'm sleepy, but I still haven't hit that third trimester exhaustion.  I get tired for sure, but usually if I just lay down or relax for a little while, it rejuvenates me.  Around 6 p.m. everyday, I wish I could take a nap but I think that's so weird and funny...why six?  Who knows!?  So, I take a sip of coke or I lay down on the couch (if I'm home yet) and relax for 30 minutes.  After that, I'm good to go for the rest of the day.

Best moment this week: 
My parents came to visit this weekend after our HORRIBLE week and it was amazing.  We were busy doing lots of household chores and things that just had to get done, but still had an amazing time.  My parents drove 12 hours this weekend just because I told them "would you come brighten up our week?"  Now that is the kind of Mommy I want to be to Liliana one day...

Movement: We sure did have some.  She was quieter yesterday, but that's really common at this stage of pregnancy.  Movement wise, I found weeks 26 - 30 to be the best because she wasn't too big yet.  Now, she doesn't have as much room to move around because my amniotic fluid levels max out around this stage of pregnancy.  I rarely have movements that hurt anymore, but when I lay down, I can definitely feel a body moving inside of me...weeeird.

Food cravings: My gummies are always in the pantry! ; )

We got a really fun box from Uncle Tyler on Friday and it was full of stuff for our baby girl!  That really brightened our week too.  It had the cutest little swim suit you've ever seen in it too.  It's for her to use when she's a year old, so maybe she'll get to put it on for July 4th!

Labor Signs: 
Very few Braxton Hicks this week, which I like.  Even my Mom, who is a worry wart, said that at my week 34 survey, she won't be worried about the pregnancy at all.  Babies after 34 weeks usually come home within 3 - 5 days if they're otherwise healthy, so the fact that I haven't had signs of pre-term labor yet are reassuring.

Belly Button in or out?
It's still out, but the whole thing didn't come out if that makes sense.  I don't think it will.  My belly button is WEIRD looking though!  Even my beloved parents who think I'm the prettiest little lady they've ever seen agree.  That's when you know you got a weird looking body part, when even your parents go "huh...that IS weird!"

What I miss:
I know I've said that I miss working out, but I miss it more now than ever before because my Doctor put me on working out bed rest last Thursday.  Everytime I had worked out the previous week, it kept making my uterus hurt and harden.  She said that I'm ONLY allowed to swim.  I can't even go for nice walks with Evan or Linda because my uterus hardened once and she didn't like that.  She said that about 1% of women go in to pre-term labor when they're working out and she didn't want that happening to me, so I can't work out, unless I'm swimming, until week 37 and by then I'll be so huge that it'll be uncomfortable for different reasons.  Sigh.

What I am looking forward to:
This isn't baby related, but this is my LAST week of law school courses and I'm really looking forward to never waking up for classes ever again...awesome.

Weekly Wisdom:
Don't be afraid to say you have to slow down or have to eat, etc.  I think I took it a little too far on Saturday.  We were buying plants for my Mom and Evan to plant on Saturday and I started getting horrible back pain.  Instead of being straight up honest about it, I pushed myself a little too much.  I should have voiced my mind more because instead I was in pretty bad back and foot pain for a couple hours after we finally got home.  On the plus side though, our new landscaping (paid for by Abuela, thanks Abuela!) looks awesome!  Nothing EVER comes back in Lubbock because the winters are too harsh, so we do this every year.  And...every year, we're convinced maybe some of the plants will come back. HA!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The Days Aren't Getting Any Better.

Sometimes, when I think things can't get worse...

After my tough news on Friday, we spent that evening with our great friends Kristen and Darren and I went to bed more calm about the bad news received from the law firm.  Since then, I've been in communication with a law firm that my boss recommended me to and hopefully that will go some where.  But, unfortunately, somehow, the job became the least of our problems, and hasn't been on my mind since Sunday morning.

On Sunday afternoon, I had some post-coital bleeding.  This, needless to say, freaked me out.  When I saw blood on the sheets, I immediately started crying.  I got so scared that something was wrong with Liliana.  We immediately called the doctor and they told us to come in to labor and delivery to be monitored.  We left the house while I called my parents on the way and heard fear in my Mom's voice.  Once we got to the hospital, they hooked me up to the fetal heart monitor and had us count movements.  Long story short: Liliana is MORE than fine, and in fact, the doctor said she looks "excellent."  She says that post-coital bleeding is really common during pregnancy, and put us on pelvic rest for a few days (yes, pelvic rest is apparently common during pregnancy (this is our third pelvic rest order), but being so far along, I was surprised it was only for a couple days that she ordered pelvic rest).  She checked my cervix and said it's completely closed and I didn't have any contractions, but just cramps while being monitored, so things are right where they should be...whew.  Our Sunday afternoon wasn't quite what we had planned, and for one second, I imagined how life would be without our little baby being healthy.  It was the worst thing I have EVER imagined.

Yesterday, once I finally started calming down (because I, of course, have problems calming down after seeing that), Evan and his friends from surgery decided to go out to Buffalo Wild Wings and drink a few beers to celebrate being done with surgery.  They have this week off to study for their big exam on Friday.  Normally, in other rotations, he gets one day off to study, but since they work so many hours during surgery, they have to give them the week off because if not, all the students would fail the exam.  Anyway, we went out to Buffalo Wild Wings and had a great time.  When we got home though, things turned bad really quickly.

Evan went outside to feed the dogs and say hello to his beloved girls and noticed that Linda was acting funny.  He leaned over and before he was able to see anything, Maggie jumped on Linda and started trying to attack her, which apparently, had already happened while we were gone.  Linda's shoulder was bleeding pretty badly and the worst part is, we weren't home when it happened!  Maggie and Linda had fought before.  Maggie is much bigger than Linda.  Maggie is a pure bred English pointer while Linda is a beagle mix.  We're talking about a difference of over thirty pounds.  I brought Linda inside and immediately started bawling.  Linda started dripping blood all over the carpets.  I started crying because I knew what was going to happen...we're going to have to give Maggie away.

Evan and I quickly took Linda to a Small Emergency Veterinary Clinic that stays open over night.  We left her there while we went home to spend some time with Maggie.  Evan, up to this point, had stayed strong.  I was a mess.  But while I went to the restroom, he went outside and picked up her toy and pet her and when I came outside, he was crying a lot.  It's like it suddenly hit him.  This sweet dog and Evan are like two peas in a pod.  It breaks my heart, it really does.

We called the shelters this morning.  They're full, but offered euthanization...yeah...thanks.  Not an option for us.  We posted something on Craigslist and Facebook and have one email from Craigslist and a couple interested from Facebook.  I just hope we can find her a good home.

Regardless, we are crushed.  While Maggie will hopefully go to a good home, it won't be our home.  She won't be around our home anymore, and that breaks our hearts.  To us, Maggie no longer will exist...and that will be so hard to handle.  I'll miss her so much.  I love this dog, but honestly, what kills me is that Evan won't have his girl anymore.  Seeing them together was so much fun.  I feel horrible that he won't have that anymore, but for Linda's sake and much more importantly for Liliana's sake, we can't keep her...

Monday, April 19, 2010

32 week survey

I realized a couple days ago that I've been doing these surveys all wrong!  If you think about it, this week should be my 32 week survey.  This realization was exciting and daunting all at the same time!  Exciting because that means Liliana will be here even sooner than I had thought.  Daunting...because...that means Liliana will be here even sooner than I had thought...

How far along? 32 weeks tomorrow

Maternity clothes? Yep, and I love them.  I think I'm at the great stage of maternity clothes where everything fits me perfectly.  None of the clothes are too tight or too big anymore.  It's kinda fun getting in to the outfits every day to see how different my belly looks than the last time I wore it.

Stretch marks? Still none!  I even had Evan take a look at the back side this morning (I can't see it in the mirror, haha) and he swears there aren't any (p.s. If he's lying, I'd be ok with that).  I've thought about posting another belly picture for a while now.  As I said before, I HATE bare belly pictures...but I LOVE looking for them on the internet to compare myself against others, so I'm doing this for other ladies that want to see what they'll look like at 31 weeks (sorry, I'm not taking my 32 week picture until tonight). 

Holy face looks like a balloon! : (
BUUUUT, you don't see any stretch marks do ya? : )

Sleep:  This weekend, we slept and slept and slept, and it was awesome!  We woke up around 9:45 on Saturday and not until 10:30 on Sunday.  I loved having my husband back for a full weekend.

Best moment this week: the baby shower! : )  We had so much fun at the baby shower with our friends.  We've gotten really lucky here in Lubbock the last three years and have gotten to know some amazing people.  I'll really miss some of them when graduation rolls around.

Movement: Liliana doesn't move as much on the weekends as she does during the week.  I think it's because life is more calm on the weekends and I'm looking out for her movements.  Overall though, she's still very active.  I've read on quite a few blogs that other people write about how their baby moves "a few times a day" for "30 minutes" and they "just can't believe it!"  HA!  Liliana doesn't move for 30 minutes total in the entire day! haha...ok maybe that's exaggerating a tad, but really, she's a mover overall and I love that.  I tease her for not letting me sleep, but when she isn't as active other days, I wish she'd wake me up more often.

Food cravings: I wanted a burger on Saturday night. Evan tried going quite a few times, but I told him that I don't need to get what I want immediately.  These are just cravings, and not healthy ones (obviously).  But, by Sunday, I was fine with eating one...and it was good.

Gender: You should have seen all the wonderful and amazing pink stuff we got at the shower on Saturday. 

Labor Signs: I had some back cramping yesterday that felt pretty painful, but no contractions like the one I had around week 30 thankfully.

Belly Button in or out? The belly button is so out that I can see what the inside of my belly button has looked like for the first time in my life...I see why innies are more attractive.

What I miss: EXERCISE.  I miss working out so much.  Whenever I try doing exercise, my uterus starts contracting immediately and I have to lay down.  It makes me feel really defeated.  I just feel lazy.  Everyone keeps telling me "you're really pregnant! You're not lazy! Just walk or work out your arms instead."  This is a really difficult thing to tell someone who worked out on nearly a daily basis and loved working out until she couldn't breathe!  Working out was my biggest hobby before the pregnancy and I feel like it was taken from me.  I can't wait to work out once again...

What I am looking forward to: We have another doctor's visit again this week (on Thursday).  It's with Dr. Farooki, my second favorite option after Dr. Casanova.  Actually, I should say, EVAN'S favorite option...I haven't met her yet, but I've heard amazing things about her. 

Weekly Wisdom
: HEATING PADS.  Yesterday after about 3 in the afternoon, my back pain wouldn't let up.  It was either spasming, or just constant.  Around 8 in the evening, after numerous back rubs, I was quite frustrated.  Evan offered trying the heating pad and while the relief from the heating pad doesn't last once you take it off, while the heating pad is on there, my pain went from an 8 to a 3...much better!  I had it on there for a couple hours and got more school work done in those two hours than I had the entire weekend. 

:  It's the week of 2: 2 more weeks of school for me (before finals), 2 more days of work for me, and most importantly...2 months until her arrival!

I feel horrible for leaving you with that ugly picture up above...goodness...

So, instead I'll leave you with a BEFORE picture of Evan.  Evan has decided that since he's done with his horrible surgery hours (YAY!), he's going to get back in to shape. He's so cute, he wants to be a really in shape Dad. : )

The thing is, he's already in pretty great shape!  Anyway, he had me take a before picture last week and has been doing some P90X workouts (he's done it 3 days so far) and will meet our friend Ryan a few times during the week to do cross fit.  Therefore, consider yourself lucky for seeing below.

(wow, he's gonna kill me for putting this picture up.  In fact, if you are reading this at some point and there is no picture below, it's because he had me take it down.  Don't be mad honey, it just means I think my hubby is a hottie!)

What a good looking back!  Swimmers bodies are the best...

Friday, April 16, 2010

"We Just Don't Have the Business"

Today sucks.  There's just no other way to put it.

I finally heard from the firm that I've been working for since July.  And, I know that I kept saying the chances didn't look good, but when you finally sucked.  I officially heard the, "The partners met and we decided we just don't have enough business to hire another associate."

It sucked.

I am in such a shitty mood about it all.  Like I said, I know that I had said the chances were small.  But for some reason, it just really sucks to hear it.  I'm so freaking disappointed in myself.  I don't particularly know there was anything else I could have done, but I'm still disappointed.  Chances are I'm going to graduate from law school, be a J.D., have a doctorate, and be unemployed.  This isn't how I had planned my life. 

I don't want to be a stay at home Mom.

I know many people want to be and I think that's commendable and great.  But, I really think this is a personal decision.  I will have an entire blog post about this some time.  But for now, these are just the thoughts going through my head.  I don't want to be a stay at home Mother.  I don't think I would be happy doing it.  I want to practice law and be proud of MYSELF when the day is said and done.

And right now, I'm not feeling very proud of myself...not one bit.

There are still options out there.  This isn't the end of the job road for me.  I have a few applications out there and one of them that's really promising, so maybe I should just focus on that today so that I won't start crying in class. 

but first, I have to pee because Liliana has the hiccups and I think she keeps hitting my right back...

And then there's moments like the above where I smiled AND she's not even born yet.  I just need to keep telling myself everything will be ok.  And I know I'm pregnant and I'm so blessed to be, but the pregnancy is an US thing.  Evan and I did that together.  What about me? 

I want to be happy with MYSELF and proud of MYSELF.  Graduating from law school doesn't mean shit if I'm not employed.  I'm not proud of myself for just graduating.  If anything, I'm more disappointed becuase I AM graduating, and I have NOTHING to show for it. 

I am really hard on myself.  I realize that.  It's just the way I am.  Most people aren't nearlly this upset to hear a "no" or to be unemployed or to be staying at home with their bundle of joy.  Again, I'm hard on myself.  Probably TOO hard on myself.  It's a flaw I have.  But it's a flaw that has helped me in life because I've always gotten what I wanted...until now.

Enough negative thinking right?  Again, I have other options out there and especially one of them is promising, the pay is pretty damn good (about the same that I would have made at the firm), and I would be very happy there.  However, I don't want to type about it just yet because that seems to be bad luck.

To the positive.  I'm REALLY looking foward to this weekend.  Thanks goodness, Kristen and Darren are coming into town today to spend some time with us and we're gonna go out for dinner and come home and relax.  It will be really nice to be with great friends.  It'll be a time to get our mind off things and just hang out together. Then on Saturday, we have the birthing class and then the Lubbock baby shower.  It'll be a great couple of days, and I need it.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Third Trimester Observations

Now in to my fourth week of the third trimester, I figured I would make some observations on how it compares to the other two.  I know that as this trimester continues, I'll just get exhausted and ready to have this little girl!  But, I think the third trimester gets a horrible reputation!  Like I said, I know that in the upcoming weeks, things will get much worse, but then people should say "oh yeah, the END of that third trimester is tough."  But, for me, the first few weeks of the third trimester have been pretty damn fabulous.

The first trimester and quite a good portion of the second trimester were pretty bad.  I felt nauseated, light headed, sick, and quite honestly, rarely good enough to enjoy the pregnancy.  Then, around week 20, life got good.  I started feeling great and enjoyed the fact that I wasn't huge yet.  I know most women WANT to show so badly, but I always knew that would happen eventually. 

Now, in the third trimester here are my observations about the first four weeks:

(1) Peace of mind.  you relax a lot when you hit the third trimester becuase if the baby is born, they might need some medical intervention, but they'll be fine.  Each day that goes by, you grow increasingly more and more calm.

(2) some of those movements start hurting!  Throughout the second trimester, I got lots and lots of kicks and punches.  Those were loads of fun.  In the third trimester, those die down and you start feeling this huge blob moving inside of you.  That's a strange feeling.  People alwyas ask me "isn't it the weirdest thing feeling them move?"  Well, when it was punches, it wasn't that strange.  I felt like someone was poking me really hard.  Now, yes it's STRANGE.  I feel like my body is twisting, but I'm not doing anything...she's doing all the work!  Sometimes, when I'm in a meeting with an attorney, I think to myself "they have NO idea what's going on inside of me right now!"  I try to hide my belly with a notepad because if you look down, my stomach is moving around like crazy.

(3) The fatigue comes back.  I LOVED the energy in the latter part of the second trimester.  I think I almost had more energy than when I wasn't pregnant.  However, that was short lived.  Some days, I'm fine and about the same as when I'm not pregnant.  Then some days, such as yesterday, I'm just so freaking sleepy.  I wish I could say that it correlates with the quality of sleep I got the night before, but that's not really true.  I ask Evan why I'm so fatigued and he says "hormones, you're growing a baby" yadda yadda, but it still irritates me! haha. 

(4) Your mobility is more limited each and every day.  I've had to start laughing at all my moans and groans.  When I sit down, I let out a sigh.  When I lean over to feed the dogs, I spread my legs apart for support.  I didn't notice it at first until I realized Evan was giving me pity kisses on the forehead more often and suddenly I put it together: woah, I'm getting really pregnant.  This, honestly, has been the most difficult thing for me to adjust to.  Just yesterday, Evan was doing a good strong workout at the house and I told him I would join in on the fun.  One exercise (the freaking warm-up) was just light jogging in place.  I did that for about 5 seconds until I gave myself a braxton-hicks contraction from jumping up and down.  Laaaame-o.

All in all, I would change the generalizations given to each stage of pregnancy.  I know that everyone's experience is different....

...But, this is how my pregnancy has been thus far:

- Weeks 8 - 16 - HORRIBLE.  Nausea full time.  You don't want to be near anybody.  You just want to lie down, feel sorry for yourself, and throw up.  After you throw up, you realize that you feel just as horrible as you did before you threw up.  It's a tough few weeks.

- Weeks 16 - 20 - I was sick with a horrible flu here, so I can't say how it would have been otherwise.  I did have my syncopase episode at week 19 and that was stressful.  I had light headedness for the next 3 weeks and couldn't even go to teh grocery store or stand for over 30 minutes without having to sit down.  But, fortunately, my husband tagged along when we had long lists of stuff to buy and would walk me to a chair until I regained my strength.  I almost passed out in class a few times too.  I soon realized that I had to shift my positions and lived off Vitamin Waters for this month.  Having those electrolytes was essential.

- Weeks 20 - 30 - AWESOME.  I felt great, started growing, felt the baby move a bunch, and just liked the slow progress of it all.

- Weeks 30 - 32 - Started getting rather sleepy during the day, when I do get back pains, they're pretty brutal.  ANY movement gives me contractions.  I had my first REAL braxton-hicks at week 30 and man...that hurt pretty badly.  I have a feeling labor isn't going to be too fun.  ;  )

- Weeks 32 - 40 - ???? Guess we'll just have to wait and see!!!

Monday, April 12, 2010

April 12th

April 12th is one of those days where I feel like crawling into a hole.  Today marks 18 years since the death of my brother Carlos.  I was only 7 when it happened.  But you know how people always say "kids know more than you realize?"  That's true.  I remember so much.  I have so many vivid memories of that evening.  I will not type them all.  I can't.  It's too painful to think of.  I apologize, in advance, for how jumbled this post will be.  My mind is obviously full of a million things on a day like today.

The evening of April 12th, I remember we were at a church event when we were told something was wrong.  I remember I was on the trampoline and I was so young, so I didn't want to go home.  But the parts I remember most were how much pain my family was in.  That's what makes me cry every year.

My brother Carlos was brilliant.  I mean that.  One of the most vivid memories I have of him was when he won Grand Prize at the State Science Fair.  His project was over frogs and their hearing.  I don't really know what could probably try and explain it to me now, and I still wouldn't understand it.  I'm telling you, the kid was brilliant.  Anyway, I remember when he won the prize and went up to the stage to get his award, he was so happy.  He ran down and had his arms up in the air.  I remember that moment so well.  I try to remember him like that.

Evan has been there for me through this day for 8 years now.  He's heard the whole story a thousand times.  He has cried with me a thousand times.  I've had so many people tell me, including my Mom, that Evan reminds her so much of Carlos.  Maybe that's why she's so crazy about him.  I think that's also why my Mom was so calm about me finding the man of my dreams at 17.  Most parents grow scared of that concept (with reason).  But, both of my parents always were calm about it.  I think they knew it was meant to be.  I had never thought of this, but maybe that's why.

Last night, Evan was grilling some porkchops for dinner and I was inside getting some cheese fondue ready (totally off topic, but that recipe rocks.  I will do a posting on some of my favorite recipes some day.  That one will be on there).  He came in and my eyes were all puffy.  Evan doesn't even have to say much anymore.  He just comes up to me and holds me and we cry. 

I told Evan that I can't imagine how often Danny and my parents think about him.  Just thinking of their pain makes me cry.  I love my family so damn much.  My brother and I have this relationship...we're close.  There's really no other way to put that.  We know that things can be taken from you.  We know that we're so lucky to still have each other.  We know that if we EVER need each other, we'd be there in a heart beat.  After my husband and my daughter, Danny's my heart.  Don't get me wrong, of course I adore my parents.  They are just amazing.  But Danny has been so much to me.  He has brought so much life to my days.  Some of my happiest memories are with him.

Thank goodness, Evan's not on call today.  Some years I barely talk about it on a day like today.  I had a huge meltdown last night, so maybe today, I wont' want to talk about it more.  I can't ever tell.  Regardless, today won't be easy.

I miss Carlos.  I wonder ALL THE TIME what our holidays would be like with him around.  I wonder who he would have become.  I am so glad I was able to have him as my brother, even if for only a short 7 years.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

30 Week Survey

How far along? 30 weeks, 4 days
Maternity clothes?
This week I think I got big enough to start getting HOT HOT HOT outside/ inside/ doesn't matter.  So, I went to Motherhood Maternity and spent some money.  I hate spending money, but I bought a SUPER COMFY cotton black skirt, a couple tank tops, and even my dress for the baby shower next weekend!

Cute Baby Shower Dress! : )
I'm also planning on wearing this for the brunch Evan's hosting the day after I graduate!

Stretch marks? This answer is still NO!  Woo hoo!  Every morning I'm convinced I have them because my skin gets all wrinkley from sleeping in the same position and without my contacts I can't see the difference...haha...oh the joys of pregnancy.

Sleep wasn't too bad this week!  I've definitely had worse back pain evenings.  I did a great job of stretching, and I think that helps.  I also worked out a couple times and I'm convinced working out helps in so many ways, including that.

Best moment this week: 
Well, we went to our first birthing class this morning and that was really fun! : )  Yes, they told us (well, especially Evan), nothing that he hadn't heard before, but it's good for me to go in the hospital and get familiar with the area, etc.  We have another session next week and apparently, by then, you're all ready! (yeah right)

Movement: She did a great job again this week.  She moves at least every hour.  There were some movements that hurt quite a lot.  I think she's jabbing her heel in to my ribs.  So I move around and that eventually causes her to change positions.

Food cravings:I've craved gummies a couple times but since Evan worked 100 freakin hours this week, I never told him...poor thing, he doesn't need to be running out and getting me candies!  He's exhausted!  I also craved food from Manna Bread and Wine, but that place is too pricey, so I'll just make sure and buy some gummies today instead. ; )

The nursery for Liliana FINALLY is complete!  I put up a video on facebook last week and a few people commented that they liked it.  I don't' care if they mean it or not...I love it and that's what matters!

Labor Signs: 
I've had two real contractions within the last week.  Not gonna lie, that's pretty painful stuff.  I suppose my body is preparing me for the real thing.

Belly Button in or out?
Outie.  It's funny because on Wednesday's I don't' have to dress up (that's my day off from work) and I didn't wear pants with the full panel in front.  Well, that makes my belly button show up BIG TIME in shirts and quite a few people at the law school commented on it. 

What I miss:
I miss moving around more freely.  When I work out, I'm disappointed in how tired I get, or in the fact that I flat out can't do so many movements!  I'm looking forward to feeling like I have my own body back once again.  But, I'd rather have her cook for 9 weeks longer. : )

What I am looking forward to: 
Our baby shower is this weekend!  In fact, I'm just looking forward to the weekend in general!  We're gonna spend time with Kristen and Darren on Friday, have the birthing class on Saturday, and then the baby shower that afternoon!  Should be a great couple of days.

Weekly Wisdom:
Don't wear skirts to a birthing class!  They have you get on the floor and practice positions that help women when they're experiencing pain during labor.  Fortunately, nobody was wearing skirts, but I think they should have told people not to...I don't want everybody seeing all that!!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

A Pregnant Wife Trying to Help...Even if Just a Little...

We have so much to do, and not one of them have anything to do with the baby coming OR with school.  It's just that time of year I suppose...everything piled up on us.  And of course, I can't help with any of them.  They're all big projects such as fixing the electrical sockets outside, the fact that the water keeps running in the master toilet, and the fact that our air conditioner was blowing hot air.

On Tuesday's, I'm off from 10:30 - 12:30 and since that isn't enough time to get to work, I usually stay at the school and study.  But on my way to school, I got to thinking how sorry I felt for Evan because of his long hours.  I added it up: 30 hours on Sunday/ Monday (call from 5:30 a.m. to 11:30 the next morning), over 11 hours per day Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, and another 30 hours on Friday/ Saturday (and then instead of going home to sleep, he gets to go down the hall and to the birthing class with me after being up all night, oh boy!).  It got me mad!  What crap!  He's a medical student and he's working about 95 hours a week?  That's more than the damn residents!

Evan has a to-do list that just keeps getting longer (no wonder, when would he complete anything), so with those two hours, I decided it was time to help some with what I could.

I rushed to Target and bought some stickies to put Liliana's name on the toy chest (the last thing we had left to do in there), a new printer (since the current ones we had did not have drivers for Windows XP or Windows 7), and well...a new black cotton maternity dress for me (that wasn't so much to help Evan, but I do look rather nice in it, so I guess it KIND OF is for him right? haha).  On my way home, I saw somebody mowing someone else's yard and told him I'd pay him immediately if he could mow the lawn that afternoon. 

I went home, put the letters on the toy chest, put away my purchases, got cash for our new favorite grass cutter, scarfed down some lunch, and went back to class.

Evan got home right as I was leaving the law office and was so thrilled at all the little things I had done.  He really appreciated it.

I mean, after all, it gave him enough time to put some dirt in a hole Maggie had dug up, and spend over an hour fixing the toilet in the master bath.  Then we ate dinner, cleaned the dishes, and before we knew it, Evan had about 40 minutes before he had to be asleep to start the day over again...

So I didn't really make his evening that much better, but maybe I made a dent...oh, and our yard looks NICE!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

29 Week Survey

How far along? 29 weeks, 5 days
Maternity clothes? oh yeah.  I went to Old Navy yesterday trying to find a dress for my Lubbock shower and they don't have any maternity clothes (of course), so I tried on some regular empire waisted dresses...that didn't go so well.  They did not fit!  It is so hard to find maternity clothes in this stinkin city!

Stretch marks? Not a one!  Each week that I don't get them, the happier I get.

Sleep: This is a tough question especially after the night I had last night.  My sleep is difficult some nights and I'm not gonna lie, it's really frustrating.  I either get insomnia, or I just flat out can't get comfortable.  I try switching from position to position and move the pregnancy pillow around in a million different doesn't work.

Best moment this week: We had our 3rd trimester ultrasound on Tuesday and that rocked.  She looks AMAZING.  She was weighing 3 lbs and 3 oz (it's been 5 days since that, so she'll be even more now).  She's in the 65th percentile on size!  What a big girl!

Movement:  Yep!  We had another great week with movement.  I don't think I ever go buy an hour without feeling some sort of movement from my pretty lady.

Food cravings: None this week!  I have noticed that I don't get full like other people do though.  I don't get hungrier than before I was pregnant, but once I start eating, I don't get full.  I can keep going and going...just like the Energizer bunny (or like Evan).

Gender: I am so darn happy this is a girl because little girls have AMAZING clothes to choose from!  Evan said that she's gonna dress like a queen.  When we were at Old Navy yesterday he wanted to buy her a trillion outfits.  We bought a hoodie that was $7.99 for 6-12 months.  Believe it or not, it was the FIRST item I've bought since I got pregnant.  I'm pretty darn proud of myself for that.

Labor Signs: I still get Braxton Hicks contractions, and sometimes they're pretty damn painful.

Belly Button in or out? Yeah, 75% of my belly button is out.  You can see it in any outfit I wear.  I kinda get embarrassed by it! hee hee

What I miss: I miss feeling more confident about myself.  This weekend was tough.  We went to the pool and I had on my maternity swimsuit and saw a bunch of girls in cute swimsuits and it was hard...I got pretty depressed.  I realized all in one hour that my life is going to change in so many ways really soon.  It just hit me, BAM, all of the sudden.  In the span of a two month period,  I'll be a mother, I'll never have the life of wearing string bikinis again, I'll stop being a student, I'll hopefully be working a very respectable job, and my relationship with my husband will no longer be just the two of's just a lot to go through.  It's not that I'm not thrilled and excited.  I really truly am.  I think I'm just being realistic.  And sometimes, life is scary.

What I am looking forward to:  We have our 30 week maternity appointment tomorrow and I get to meet another one of the doctors, so hopefully I'll like her!  Also, this week we have our first birthing class!  We have a lot of exciting events to look forward to this week.  However, I have to admit that I have one big thing on my mind.  There's a chance I'll hear about a job opportunity this week...that's ALL I've been thinking about this weekend, so we'll see.  I might not hear anything, and in that case, the waiting game will continue.

Weekly Wisdom:  Don't worry excessively about your weight.  At first, I didn't think I was gaining enough weight.  Then, I thought I was gaining too much.  And now, I think I'm RIGHT on track.  Your body will do what it has to do.  Stressing about it is surely not going to help.

Milestones: We're less than 2 months away from having a "full-term" (37 weeks) baby!  I can't believe it!  Since I'm obviously a worrier, it's nice to think to myself that I have less than 2 months to go and if she's born any time after that 37 week barrier, it's perfectly normal and even expected.  I can't believe she's already such a big's happened so quickly.  I have a feeling I'll think that once she's born too.

Friday, April 2, 2010

How to be a Parent Part I

When we went home for Evan's birthday, Evan decided it was time to start writing down our parenting rules . 

We didn't have any paper around within reach while driving between San Angelo and San Antonio, so Evan pulled out my planner and started writing down rules in the back of my planner.  It's titled "How to be a Parent."

Today I was flipping through the pages in class and laughed out loud.  Evan had written his top two rules as "sex" and "lots of sex." Oh, he can dream can't he?  Somehow, I think he skipped over all the parenting chapters that talk about how your sex life decreases in frequency after children come along.  I think he's just convinced that if he writes it down, then "sex" and "lots of sex" will continue to be as amazing as it has been...I hope he's right! : )

Ok, now to being serious.  Hopefully, Evan and I can follow through on all of these rules.

No TV in Bedroom
This rule is Evan's.  Evan and I are allowed to have a TV in our bedroom if we choose of course, but the children are not.  Growing up, I was not allowed a TV in the bedroom and was always really jealous of my friends who had one in their rooms. 

We want the family to be together as much as possible.  That's the best way to really know what's going on with your children.  Things about their day are bound to come out when they're with you for a few hours every night.

No Significant Others in Bedroom.
This was my parent's rule.  We hated the rule.  We're following this rule more strictly than any other. : )

C'mon, you can't expect 17 year olds to not have hormones.  That being said, I should note, I was always a good girl in Evan's house even when we were allowed in the bedrooms.  My Mama raised me right!  However, we don't know if our son's girlfriend's parents raised them right, so we're making sure we don't give them an opportunity to get into trouble.  I don't want my son or daughter on "16 and pregnant" ok?

1 sport, 1 musical activity.  Maximum of 2 activities.
This was also my parent's rule.  I really want to be a working mother.  Fortunately, my husband wants the same thing for me as well (that's another blog post for another day).  Because of this, there is just no way that we can be driving the kids around all the time and still manage having two full time working parents.  Evan nor I will have regular 8 - 5 jobs.  Because of this, having the children in 40 activities is impossible.

Therefore, each child is allowed one sport and one musical activity (preferably piano!! hee hee...that's not a rule, but it's a preference!).

I don't think this rule makes us bad parents.  If anything, I think it shows children that the world doesn't revolve around them and that parents have things to do as well. That's humbling and a great lesson.

Well, there are three rules!  Hopefully our rules sound reasonable to others and hopefully people will tell us some great rules of their own throughout the I said, we want to be excellent parents.  We really really do.  We're lucky because both of our parents were great.  They were supportive and each had pretty different parenting styles so we've taken things we liked from both sets and put them together to find our own little parenting recipe.  I'm sure we'll change our rules and deviate from them all the time.  But I think it's a good sign that we're already thinking about it.  It shows we care and love our children.  Not all kids are that lucky.

I want my Liliana darling to know that we won't always be perfect as parents, but that we're always trying our best.  I love her so much already...I just hope I can be the Mother she deserves.