One of the things I don't like about blogging is that it's not private. While I do like sharing stories, recipes, and ideas and seeing them on others blogs, it's also hard sometimes because the things that are really close to my heart have to stay hidden.
That's what has been going on the last 6 weeks.
I have barely seen Evan the last six weeks. When I say barely, I mean it.
You see, Evan was on night float the last 6 weeks. And truly, it sucked. So bad.
So bare with me, I'm going to be complaining and WHINE a ton on this blog post, but it's been building for 6 weeks .... sorry.
Night float is a system where in the residents go in around 5 pm and come home around 6:30 am. They usually have one night off over the weekend and that was our saving grace. That one night every 2 weeks. We lived for it.
Don't know if you're aware of this, but this 5 pm to 6:30 am schedule is kinda the exact OPPOSITE schedule of most working people's schedules.
For the last six weeks, this has been our routine:
I RUSH out of work right at 4 o'clock so that I can get home around 4:20. Evan leaves the house around 4:30. Ten minutes of quality family time right there. Actually usually it consisted of Liliana struggling with the fact that Daddy was leaving again and us trying to calm her down. She HATES it when he gets his keys. In fact, our daughter now calls keys "bye byes." Isn't that sad? We've tried teaching her llaves (Spanish for keys) but in her mind, they're the thing that Daddy picks up when it's time to go for the evening.
After Evan would leave, Liliana and I would have our evenings together. Fortunately the girl was AMAZING the last 6 weeks. We have (KNOCK ON WOOD!) made it through this ENTIRE season without Liliana even getting a fever. Strongest immune system I'm telling you. The girl is in daycare every single day and her daycare was infultrated with some pretty serious stuff this year. She came out unscathed somehow. So usually Liliana and I would have a snack (sharing a little Kraft Macaroni and an apple), play and read book after book after book, and around 6 o'clock, we would head to the gym 3 times a week. After that it was usually bath then bed. By the time that I would come downstairs, eat my own dinner, and clean up around the house I was EXHAUSTED.
I was essentially a single Mom and let me tell you, I respect women that do it. SO stinking much. When I would sit down around 8:30, I just wanted to not get up.
The roughest part of it all? I slept like SHIT the entire time. And yes, shit is the correct word. I woke up AT LEAST once an hour the ENTIRE 6 weeks. I have been exhausted because I've never gotten in to my REM cycles.
I don't know exactly why I sleep so poorly when Evan is gone. My body is tired, my mind is tired, and I even take a sleeping pill as an anti-nausea medication but still, I wake up often. I could usually fall asleep around midnight, but I wake up at six every morning and would wake up around 6 times a night. Do the math and that's not enough sleep for a pregnant lady! I'm pretty convinced that's why I got sick a few weeks ago. Lack of sleep really messes with the body.
I'm just used to his arms cuddling me and being by myself TERRIFIES me. I worried people were in the house and all these stupid overdramatic things. Sure we have a kick butt alarm in our house, but I still don't like people knowing when he's not home so I couldn't share.
Evan would usually get home RIGHT as my alarm was going off in the morning (or sometimes while I was in the shower getting ready for work). At this point, he would crash for about 30 minutes and then would wake up again so he could get Liliana ready for the day and make my breakfast. It was another 10 minutes we got together.
So far, we're at 20 minutes a day. And that's all she wrote. BLAH.
But today is March 1st. And nights are DONE. FOREVER! FOREVER! Yes, that's right. I get to sleep in Evan's nook and be a happy wife and we get to be a happy family. YAY! To make things evern better, Evan is doing his Urology rotation this month which he, naturally, is REALLY excited for. The worst of this Surgery intern year is OVER. AMAZING.
Evan worked last night and transitioned straight to days today. In other words, he hasn't slept for over 24 hours. But tonight when I get home from work, we will have dinner TOGETHER as a family, put Liliana to bed as a FAMILY, and fall asleep (probably 30 minutes after because we're both BEAT!) together as a HAPPY couple.
15 hours ago