Friday, March 5, 2010

The Obligatory "I Hate you Law School" Post...

I've tried as well as I could to keep negativity out of this blog.  Heck, I've been trying the last year to keep negativity out of my life.

As I've posted earlier, I hated the first year of law school.  I cried probably 4 times each semester through stress and poor Evan had to sit there probably thinking to himself, "What a wimp!  It's just school!  Get over it!"  Evan handles stress much better than I do.  During his third year probably marks the first time I've seen him physically drained and tired of his schedule.  During OB/Gyn, his night float week was tough.  He was gone from the house at 4 pm and didn't get back until 8:30 am.  He slept until 1:00 (yeah, only 4.5 hours) and I'm at work between 1 and 4, so we barely ever saw each other.  It was a tough week.

Currently, Evan is in his Surgery rotation.  I see him tired again, and I hope I'll see him happier soon. Evan wants to do Surgery.  Well, he wants Urology first (which involves a year of Surgery residency), but if he doesn't get in to Urology, Surgery will likely be his second choice. Evan's waking up at 4:15 every morning and leaves the house around 4:50.  He's not getting home until around 5:00, but when you add up that time, those are 12 hour days and he has to go to bed so darn early every night that the schedule is tough.  What makes this harder than OB is that this is his schedule for 7 straight weeks.  To make matters WAY worse, he's on call every four days.  For instance, he's on call today.  He got to the hospital around 5:15 this morning and won't come home until noon tomorrow.

I post all this to say, I realize that my story isn't a "cry me a river" situation.  My husband has this schedule, and I have the AUDACITY to say I'm stressed?  Ugh.  Get over it Cristina.  Alas though, I can't help it...this week and next week will be ridiculously busy.

Tomorrow (yes, Saturday) I have an exam at 9 in the morning.  The Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam.  It's historically not supposed to be a difficult exam, but if I don't pass, I don't get licensed.  The average law student takes it twice to pass.  I want to pass it, badly.  I am on my second chance that adds to the stress.

RIGHT after I get home from taking that exam (which I'm sure I'll be studying for until late tonight), I have to start studying for my Family Law midterm on Tuesday afternoon.  I have barely had enough time to properly prepare for both.

I leave the house at 8 every morning and get home from work usually around 6:30.  I do my school work just to keep up for possibly being called on in class the next day for a copule hours each night and then of course, we have to eat dinner.  Usually, that goes until 9:30 (when Evan starts getting ready for bed).  I feel like we barely get to spend time together because he goes to bed so early and I get home so late.  I usually get in bed around 11, so then I've had about 1.5 hours each day to study for two exams.  Ideally, I would want at least 4 hours each day to study for each...I'm very behind.

If I didn't have my job, I think my stress level would greatly decrease.  To make matters worse, as I said in my post a couple weeks ago, I knew I would shoot myself in the foot for getting excited about the vacant associate position at the firm.  I heard some people talking today about how the firm wants someone with minimum 3 years experience to take her spot.

The situation with lawyers right now is so tough economically that they know they can pay an experienced lawyer pennies compared to what they would have given them years ago.  Might as well have someone who is experienced if you can pay them what normally a brand new law student would have been paid.  So, I sit there at work, working my ass off, and all I can think now is "for what?"  However, I try my best not to think like that. 

But like my Dad told me yesterday, "I'm not sure there's anything YOU can do to change whether they'll hire or not. You just have to wait"  I think he's right.  In the mean time I need to see the positives:  this only gives me experience, you NEVER know what'll happen (maybe they'll hire me after all), I make enough money to pay for our utilities every month, AND most importantly, I like it. I really don't think they'd regret hiring me.  I would work my ass off. 

Ugh.  So I'm done...there was the obligatory "I hate you law school post." I feel better.  : )

Graduation = 70 days away.  WOO HOO!  Just keep swimming...

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