I should be studying...

I should be studying, I should be studying...

I can't focus, I can't focus...

We had our 36 week appointment today and I'm 1.5 cm dilated, 100% effaced, and + 2 station.  He said it could be "any day now" and "if I make it two more weeks."  It looks like I'll be a Mom before June 1st. 

Things going through my mind:

How will I know I'm in labor?  Will I notice my water break?  Who knows...

I go back in to the doctor's office on Friday to at least get my blood pressure checked to make sure I don't get preeclampsia. 

I have an interview with a firm tomorrow.  Hope I don't go in to labor while at the interview.

Ok...I should be studying, I should be studying. 

I need to focus.  Starting...n...o...w???

I Used to Like the Limbo

My world is full of changes lately.  My world is in a state of limbo.  First off, speaking of changes, do you guys like my new blog?? I got it made over by Bailey and she did SUCH a fantastic job.  If anybody else is considering getting theirs redone, I highly recommend doing it with her, she was perfect.   You see, before our wonderful oops (aka Liliana) Evan and I were going to go on a cruise after my bar exam.  It was going to be our present to ourselves for both sticking through this, for both going to graduate school, and for both making it through the roughest years of school.  But, then our Lilibear decided she didn't want us to go on a cruise, which we were completely fine with...we love her to pieces.  However, I decided I was still due a little present for this studying, so I decided to have my blog redone.  I'm so happy I did.  It matches my personality perfectly and I hope everyone likes it!

But...about limbo...

Back in college, I was the limbo girl.  Get a few drinks in me, and I could limbo like crazy...won quite a few competitions at parties actually, thank you very much.  Back in college, I liked the word limbo.

 

 Limbo Queen!

However, now, our lives never seem set.  That is getting really old.  Evan and I have spent the last week trying to plan out the next few weeks of our lives.  So much of it is..."well IF this happens, then we'll do this, and IF this happens we'll do that."  Ugh.  It's distracting with all my studying and is making me wonder what I really want out of life.

First off, Evan's trying to decide what he wants to do with his life.  Does he want to pursue Urology or Ob/ Gyn.  He keeps going back and forth with his decision and it's weighing down on him.  If he does Urology, our chances of him actually getting accepted are narrowed down to pretty much Lubbock or San Antonio because Urology is the third most competitive residency in the nation.  Who would have thought that penises and prostates were so competitive?  Then, out of the blue, Evan loved his Ob/Gyn rotation throughout this third year.  He has lots of options that he wouldn't mind pursuing afterwards such as Maternal Fetal, Gyn Onc or Uro Gyn (translation: high risk pregnancies, cancer, or woman urological issues).  If Evan pursues an Ob/ Gyn residency, then our options would be much more flexible because it's not nearly as competitive as Urology.  Plus, I don't know about you guys, but I wouldn't mind having this handsome chap be my Ob/Gyn!!

                          Hubba hubba!

So recently, we've started wondering if we want to go out of state.  This then brought up the question of whether I want to pursue a "traditional" legal job and get a job with a firm or get a "non-traditional" job and not necessarily practice at a firm.   I know for a fact that I want to be a working Mom, this has never come in to our conversations.  However, I'm not sure if I could handle a firm job that requires so much time when I know my husband will be gone 80 hours a week throughout his four years of residency.  I'd essentially be a single Mom those years.  That being said, I want a job that is worth my degree and worth my time.  I want a job that I would be proud of.  That is very important to me and fortunately my husband understands and encourages that.  

So, we have decisions to make, and they're complicated.

For now, our plans are to see if I pass the bar exam.  If I do, then we'll try to stay in Texas and I'll try go the traditional route because I do like quite a few areas of the law and I loved the work I did at the firm I clerked for throughout my third year.  If I got a job here in Lubbock at a firm, I would stay working there and Evan would do residency here and things would continue just fine!  

If I don't pass the bar however (which, to be completely honest is looking really likely right now), then I think we're going to try to go out of state for residency.  Evan and I have loved being on our own these three years of marriage.  I know that many couples love being close to their families, and eventually we will be too.  But for now, this has suited us well.  It has made us grow as a couple and now with Liliana, as a family. I am a very independent person, so I think the desire to get out of Texas stems from that.  Fortunately, Evan wants to go along for the ride and I can tell he's excited about this possibility.

So, now we're seeing where would we want to live???  Phoenix, St. Louis, and a couple cities in Florida are on our list.  The nice thing about some of these is that the housing market isn't horrendously expensive and it could afford me some time to get a decent job to warrant all my hard work through law school.  We would probably rent a house for a while because the salaries that they give residents are pretty bad. Also, we have pretty strict guidelines.  It can't be too cold (have you noticed these cities are in the South?  We like warm weather.  But the city has to be big enough where I could have plenty of job opportunities.  We need companies big enough to have HR opportunities, consulting jobs, financial planning jobs, etc...basically places where I could use my degree.  I should mention: I can't practice law in other states because I would have to retake the bar and get licensed in that individual state since I wouldn't have practiced in Texas yet.  Taking yet another bar is not an option...call me lazy, but I will not be studying for the bar in another state.  No sir.

Anyway, we'll make it work.  And at the end of the day while this is stressing us out like crazy (can't you tell?) we always go to bed saying the same thing...

As long as we're by each others side, it'll all work out...it'll all work out.

Being a Pregnant Law Student

I've noticed that a lot of people have been finding my blog through "pregnant during law school" or "can I do law school while pregnant" searches.  When I was about 5 months along, I did this post about Being Pregnant in Law School.  I thought I would write some more posts expanding on that and giving some more advice because now I can post when I think it's best to have a baby in law school and more so, whether I think it would be possible to be a mother to a newborn during law school.  For today's post, I'll expand more on just being pregnant in law school in general.  In the next few posts, I'll write about being a Mother during law school, and when I think it's best to have a baby in law school (if you have that kind of flexibility). 

As I had posted a few months ago, being pregnant during law school wasn't what I would call easy.  At first, it wasn't too bad, but when the morning sickness sets in, coupled with exhaustion during the first trimester, you're pretty miserable.  You wonder "how can I do this?"  Then, during the second trimester, you think "oh ok, I feel like a normal human being again...I can manage."  And finally, by the third trimester, your mind has gone to lala land and you do have some problems focusing.  There are many things to consider about having a baby in law school, or in my case, 6 days after graduation.  There are, quite honestly, positives and negatives to both.

I do, however, think a few things are essential.  If you are doing this completely on your own (in other words, wanting to be a single mommy), I would recommend you wait until at least the end of your first year.  If I wouldn't have had my wonderful husband around, I honestly would have taken a semester off.  Here's the problem with pregnancy: you can't plan how you'll feel!  Some women are really lucky and they never have anything out of the ordinary happen, or they have no morning sickness.  But, I had horrible morning sickness and I was still throwing up in to my trash can with my husband holding my hair up at nearly 20 weeks.  So don't think it'll be perfect and that you've timed everything your way.  My little precious girl was born nearly 4 weeks early.  I still have no idea how I would have managed if her due date had been June 1st and then she would have come smack dab in the middle of finals.  Yeah...not good.  These are all things I strongly encourage you to consider.

Another thing to consider is how important grades and extracurriculars are in your life. Once the morning sickness really started setting in, it was very hard to focus.  I'll give you an example:  when I was 8 weeks along and my morning sickness was pretty bad, I took my MPRE (Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam).  I failed it the first time.  This test is not hard...seriously...it's embarrassing that I failed.  I took it the second time in my second trimester when I felt better and passed it with flying colors.  Additionally, you can't be in a million extracurriculars either because you'd be letting down your teammates when not feeling well.  I remained very involved on my journal, because I loved the people that I worked with.  I also worked approximately 20 hours a week at a law firm.  Looking back on it, I should have probably cut out my clerking at the firm.  Working and the journal were ok together, but adding in the school work was too much and that is also why my grades suffered so much.  You will have to learn what works for you and make sure to not over do it. 

Another thing I really noticed through this entire experience is that there isn't ever a perfect time to have a baby.  While my husband and I weren't exactly planning to get pregnant that fine day in September (oops! haha), I'm not sure it would have been any easier in the years following.  This is a decision that you and your partner have to make TOGETHER (that is, if it's planned).  Once Evan and I got to thinking about it, there were many positives about the timing.  Throughout Liliana's first year, Evan will be in his fourth year of medical school which isn't nearly as strenuous as his first year of residency!  So as I said, think about how things would be as a couple.  This is going to be a balancing act.  Get ready to start working together NOW, before you get pregnant, because you'll be a team more than ever once your cute bundle of joy comes along.

Note: if this is the first time you've seen my blog, I also recommend the following posts:

Just a Typical Saturday in the Lacefield House:  This could be the kind of schedule you'd have on a weekend with a newborn if your partner is available to help you 24 hours of the day.  Consider how this would fit in to your schedule during law school.  In some ways, it's perfect because you study on your own time most of the year.  It would obviously be hard during finals.

Pregnancy Doctor Visits:  At my law school, they took attendance during our classes and we could  typically miss between 2 - 6 class periods during each semester.  Consider how this schedule would fit in to all of this.  This is, in my opinion, a big positive for being in law school while pregnant because I don't care so much if I miss one class period, but when you're a brand new associate they will not be happy that you're missing so much work!

What to Expect when You're Done Expecting:  Here is the hardest part about having the baby during law school: the recovery.  If you had a job, you would have a couple weeks to physically recover.  Sure, you'll be exhausted during your hours as an associate, but the recovery while you're sitting in class would be rough.
 This is something to consider...talk with your school and see what their policies are.

Overall,  it's a decision you will have to make!  All I'm doing by writing these posts are giving you things to think about.  There are definitely positives and negatives to both.  That being said, personally, for me, if I didn't have the bar to be studying for this would have been perfect. I am happy I was pregnant during law school.  Even though our pregnancy was not per se planned...it ended up fitting our lives very well, much better than if I had been working as a new associate.  I saw how much the associates worked at the firm I clerked for... and let me tell you, when I left the office at 6 p.m. because I had had enough of the nausea, they had to stick around and keep getting their stuff done.  Like I said, if I had to miss class for an appointment, it wasn't a problem.  Also, yes my grades went down because I felt sick, but in the big scheme of things that sure sounds a lot better than the other option: when you're an associate, if your job performance goes down for months, there might be some more serious consequences.  Hope all this information helped!!  Please note, every pregnancy is different and some people might feel differently about this...I'm just giving my opinion from my experience.

Also...please excuse my subliminal messages ....  ;  ) 

It's the Cut of the Swimsuit...Right?

Well people, it's been two weeks.  Two freaking weeks...14 whole days...and I stepped on the scale again this morning.  Sigh...

I said two weeks ago that I wanted to get my pre-baby body back.  I know that people say "it takes time," but a large part of me believed it was women being lazy and not working out.  Well, as I blogged about earlier, I went for my post-partum visit exactly a week from yesterday.  He gave me the green light on exercising but just told me to take it easy for the first few weeks since my hips could still be sensitive to certain motions.  "Alright!!" I thought.  Let's do this thing.

So, I thought I did pretty darn well the last couple of weeks.  Here's my progress:

Exercise: I've worked out four times already!  I've gotten sore every time.  I got pretty darn sore the first time and it's been subsiding a little since.  Since I'm studying for the bar, my workouts are short: between 20 - 30 minutes.  I realize this is pathetic.  I know.  But, it's all that I have time for, so it'll have to do.   I work out every other day.  My husband is the sweetest and he has been working out with me every single time as moral support.  I think this is a good time to mention what I do for my workout routine: Jillian Michaels.  I am obsessed with this woman.  I own nearly all her DVDs (I have 8 total) and they seriously kick your ass.  Even my husband agrees.

I've been doing some cardio, some strength, and of course my favorite, the 30 day Shred:

I only did Level 1 for now and will probably stick to that for the next couple weeks.  I really do love working out and more so, doing it at home.  Through this blog, I hope to help other women that are trying to lose the baby weight, or just lose weight in general.  I think in another life, I could have been a personal trainer.  The only problem is, I like to eat.  I could have done the exercise part, but would have been horrible at suggesting what they eat...I mean hello, did you not see my post about our Saturday meal?  Anyway, all in all, I'm proud of myself for working out four times and not even being 6 weeks postpartum.  I think I've done rather well.


My Eating Habits:  There's some good...and some bad to report in this department.  I left two bites of every meal on my plate as I had wanted to do.  So, thumbs up there!  Thumbs down though because I ate ice cream nearly every night for a week!  OOPS!  Darn it.  Granted, it was a small amount every evening, but I should have said no.  Fortunately, the ice cream is finished and I'm thoroughly sick of the stuff, so that won't be happening anymore.  As I've mentioned before, I don't' believe in dieting: I believe in moderation. So, if I want a little ice cream, I'll give myself a little ice cream. 

Now, the moment of truth:

Pre-pregnancy weight: 126 pounds

Weight the day I went into labor: 163 pounds

Today's weight:  141.4 pounds

UUUGH!! I'm so freaking frustrated.  I did a better job with my eating, I worked out a few times, and I only lost 1.6 pounds in two weeks?  What the heck?

To make matters worse, guess what I had to do yesterday?  Buy a swimsuit.  I've decided that next time I have a kid, I'm having it during the winter.  That way, I won't have to go out in a swimsuit within weeks of having had a baby.  This weekend, my Dad is coming in to town and we're going to the pool to swim together with Evan.  I took a break from studying and tried on swimsuits at Target...I swear, I would rather be studying!  They looked freaking horrible.  And if you want complete honesty on this blog: the mediums didn't fit. Yep, that's right, I have made my ass large enough to officially be considered large.  Yuck.  So, we went to Old Navy because I decided I desperately wanted a one-piece.  I ended up finding a cute one AND it was in a Medium, thank you very much.  Evan, of course, says I look "freaking hot" in it.  Ain't he sweet? 

Enough with the joking around though.  I know it hasn't even been six weeks, but seeing my body in this fashion has been tough emotionally.  I have definitely done the standing in front of the mirror naked thing...I just stand there grabbing all my gross fat deposits.  Evan will walk by and tell me to stop doing that.  He keeps telling me I look great for only having given birth 5 weeks ago.  But, as a woman, I miss seeing what I used to be.  For that reason, I'm going to keep on trucking every two weeks, posting on here every other Wednesday, and holding myself accountable until that baby weight is off darn it!!

Goal for the next two weeks:  Keep working out!  I won't have time to increase the time of the workouts, so by the end of the next two weeks, I want to have moved up on intensity.  Also, I want to try and keep a more positive attitude.  I know the weight will come off eventually, so I can't give up and get negative about it.

Eventual Goal: 15.4 pounds to go to return to pre-baby weight!

Monday Minute and People LOVE Me!

So today I'll be doing the Monday Minute found at The Daily Dose of Reality.  As you guys remember from my previous post, I'm up for hosting the monday Minute and I'm up against quite a few other entries.  Ian is going to do a vote starting on Wednesday, so PLEASE go to the above link and vote for me!  I would REALLY appreciate your vote.  Read my previous post to see if you think I deserve it based on our "inspirational" stories.  I'll bother you some more about it later this week, but for now, our questions...

1 - Who is your favorite childhood superhero?

Hmm...I actually never really had one, but if I DID have to choose, I would say Cat woman.  Her outfit is so damn sexy!  I don't really know much about her except for the fact that Halle Berry got a Razzie for her performance in the Cat woman movie, but like I said, hella sexy outfit.

Maybe this should be my  Halloween outfit for Evan? haha.

I must admit, if it wouldn't have said childhood, I totally would have said Aquaman, just because I want to mention Entourage...did anybody else see the season finale last night?  Holy hell batman! Vince has freaking gone off the deep end.  That porn star is a BAD influence on him (could have guessed that huh?)!!

2 - List something you have done for pure shock value.

Ok, I feel REALLY lame, because I don't have a good answer to this question!  I RARELY do something without first thinking it over.  I suppose the only thing I can think of is when Evan and I went to Santa Fe in my second trimester.  I was sitting on our couch and started having a mid life crisis thinking that soon Evan and I wouldn't have any romantic weekends because babies were coming in to the picture.  So, I sent him a text and said "Let's go to Santa Fe, I'm about to make hotel reservations."  An hour later, I had everything set and we left the next morning.  It felt good to be spontaneous and even though we drove 10 hours and were only there for 24 hours, it was still nice to do our last "us" thing.

Our little hotel room in Santa Fe! 
It was SO cute...had a living room, a kitchen, a great bathroom and was REALLY affordable! 

3 - What is the most recent thing someone has said/done to you that left you picking your jaw up off of the floor.

I don't know if this is the most recent, but it was the one that first came to my mind.  A few months ago, we were at the Parade of Homes and a woman came up to Liliana and told her friend, "Look at this baby with that DARK skin!"

Umm...are you freaking kidding me?  She does know that not everybody in the world is white right?

Wow...we didn't even know how to react.  Liliana's not even THAT dark.  She just looks like a Hispanic baby (which she is).  Sometimes I think people in Lubbock don't get out much.

4 - Do you have a moment where you gained clarity about your life?

When I was pregnant, I suddenly realized that there were things that mattered more in life than a grade on an exam.  Up until being pregnant, I lived every day to study and study some more.  But throughout my pregnancy, since it was a pretty tough one, I literally COULD NOT study all the time.  I had my head in a trash can or toilet too much to study.  And, this was good for me.  I realized that I still survived, I still graduated law school JUST FINE, and my body was growing a pretty baby.  It made me realize that the people around you will ALWAYS give you a feeling of happiness, and a good grade on a paper will be short lived.

5 - What are you doing to achieve your biggest dream?

My biggest dream was to be happily married, graduate from law school, and have a baby.  I had achieved all those and felt so empty still...so, I think I realized that I needed another dream, and that was to be happy with my career.  I'm on my way to doing that.  And, in order to get this done, I better get back to studying!


FIRST though, I just want to thank Losing the Baby Weight for giving me a sweet blog award!

And, I want to thank The Redhead Riter for choosing ME as the spotlight friend and rockin friend.  THANK YOU!

Don't forget to go HERE on Wednesday and PLEASE vote for me!  I'll remind you guys again, don't worry.

Just a Typical Saturday in the Lacefield House...

For some reason, it really started hitting me this week that we're parents.  Maybe it's because my Mom wasn't here and it was just us two again.  Maybe it's because Liliana is getter older which means she's sleeping less, she's crying more, and she's interacting with us a great deal more as well.  Before babies, a typical Saturday for Evan and I would have started around 11 in the morning.  We would have woken up around 10:30 and stayed in bed watching something stupid on television (our pre-baby Saturday morning tradition).  Then, one of the two of us would inevitably have to get out of bed to pee and realize we should probably eat breakfast.  We normally ate breakfast in bed and then by noon or one o'clock we started our day.  We studied for a few hours and then went out to dinner and hung out with friends.  Sure, many times, we just stayed home and didn't go out (we aren't in College anymore after all), but we always took at least a few hours in the evening (even if it started at eleven) and watched a movie while cuddling on the floor of our living room.

Contrast our above Saturday (the relaxing, yet study oriented one I admit) to yesterday...

1:45 a.m.:  I had been studying until around 1:45 in the morning, so I decided I might as well let Evan sleep some more and did the feeding.  We fall asleep around 3 o'clock together.  I set my alarm for 9:15 thinking I would get over six hours of sleep. HA.

5:25 a.m.: Evan wakes up to feed Liliana and comes back in to bed around 6:30 a.m.

8:30 a.m.:  Liliana starts crying even though it's only been 3 hours!  Evan tells me to keep sleeping, because he has this week off and has been taking two out of three of the feeds most nights (he took all of them 2 nights this week...amazing Daddy). 

9:40 a.m.: I already have overslept and Evan's obviously exhausted.  I come out to the living room and see this beautiful sight...

10:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m.: The day happens.  I study constantly and Evan keeps her entertained as best he can while he's trying to write his personal statement for his residency applications.  We get Liliana dressed for the day.

6:00 p.m.: Evan heads out to Market Street to go grocery shopping.  He's making this for dinner.  I love Macaroni and Cheese, I really do.  He decides that it's maybe easier to carry her around in his carrier rather than lug around the heavy infant carrier...

6:00 - 8:00 p.m.:  I keep studying and Evan cooks dinner.  We eat the macaroni with some delicious hotdogs and our bellies are satisfied.

8:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.:  Evan decides he should keep staining our fence (a project he's been tackling for the last couple months) and I feel bad that he's been taking care of  Liliana so much without any help, so instead of lugging around the infant carrier, I decide it's my turn to strap her on to my chest while I'm studying outside.  I am amazed at how similar this thing reminds me of being pregnant again!

9:00 - 11:00 p.m.:  We work out together (Evan's been working out with me to show support through my process of trying to lose the baby weight because he knows I love working out with company).  Liliana eats.  Clean up dishes from dinner (yes I know most people are heading to bed at this time).  Decide that since we had such a healthy meal for dinner, we should have these for dessert.

11:00 - 12:00 a.m.: While the brownies are in the oven, Evan says it's time to bathe Liliana.  Bathing Liliana is something we do together as a couple.  I have only not helped once and always put down whatever quiz or book I'm reading at the  moment.  It's our 15 minutes together that I treasure so much.  Well, Liliana decided today it wasn't going to be so sweet, but instead...poooopie!  She takes the worlds longest poop while we're getting her ready for her bath.  After 15 minutes of that, we finally put her in the tub and get this face...

Hmm...someone looks a little angry.  Little did we know, as I took this picture, she was pooping again!  This bath I tell ya...

We proceeded to clean the tub, get her floating poop out of the bottom, and finally bathe her.  She didn't seem too happy after the bath was done while we were drying her off.

12:00 - 1:00 a.m.: We get her in to her pajamas and try to calm her down.  Does she look like she was sleepy?

1:00 a.m. - 2:30 a.m.: Evan feeds Liliana and I keep studying.  She falls asleep and I stop studying around 1:45 a.m.  We decide to spend 30 minutes together and watch a House Hunters International in the UAE.  Exhausted, we hop in to bed...what a Saturday. : ) Wouldn't change it for anything in the world (well except for the constantly studying.  I could do without that).

My Finals...

Well, yesterday marked a pretty big day in my life.  I am officially done with law school.  Finals, while I barely talked about them on my blog, were pretty brutal this semester.  I had FOUR of them.

(1) Criminal Procedure - 05/05 - I studied pretty hard for this one, but our professor did a horrbile job preparing us in class, so I did my best with what I could.  So while I read over the outlines a few times like I usually do, they just didn't have the substance they shoudl have had and honestly, the professor didn't do the job she should have to prepare us.  I think I passed though.  This will be the theme here...that's what's important.

(2) Texas Estate Administration - 05/10 - This class was probably one of my favorites this semester.  It's all about the job of an attorney or an executor and how to administer estates after someone passes.  It was SUCH a useful class.  I already started our wills when I had a few minutes between classes (yeah, law school does that to you...you start doing nerdy things like writing your own wills just for the heck of it).  This final was a tough one.  It was really detail oriented but again, I think I passed.

(3) Marital Property - 05/12 - This class had my favorite professor: Hatfield.  He's the funniest guy and his exam for Wills and Trusts last year was really fair, so I wasn't that worried.  Boy, was I wrong.  It was tough!  The reason though was because there were only 38 questions and questions 1- 15 were worth 5 points, questions 15 - 30 were worth 3, and questions 30 - 38 were worth 1 point.  So in other words, the fact that I was really confused by 5 of the first 15 is BAD...really really bad.  Again though, I made educated guessed and had studied, so I think (hope) I passed.  I've thought I did worse before on a law school final and came out with a passing grade, so I think I'll be alright.

(4) Family Law - 05/13 - Yeah, can you believe it?  I had three finals in a four day period.  That's freaking brutal and it's by far the worst I've had in law school.  Your first year, they give you 3 in a six day period.  These exams are long and cover a huge amount of information so it's really exhausting.  I remember in college I tried scheduling finals as close together as possible so I could be done for the semester!  Ha, how times have changed.  I could have done a better job studying for this test, but I have to admit, when I got home after my Marital Property exam, I was really beat!  I tried my  best to focus, but just couldn't.  My body and mind were overwhelmed and exhausted.  I decided to take a break and try to find some shoes for my graduation, and that helped a little.  But that break only bought me about 2 hours of studying before I was beat again.  This final really wasn't that tough, but I honestly wasn't as prepared as I could have been.  I, however, did my best and that's all you can ask for.

Sorry for the most uninteresting blog post ever.  For those of you in law school, you'll probably think "wow she doesn't sound nearly stressed enough about finals."  I assure you, I usually am, but third year is funny like that.  You just start not giving a shit.  You should, because if you're unemployed like I am, your grades still matter a lot, but you're just drained.

So to any third year law students out there, my advice is: do the best you can.  That's what you've done so far throughout law school and obviously you're still truckin', so keep it up...just this last time.  And then, like me: YOU'LL BE DONE!!

I Miss my Husband.

I really miss Evan.  He has been so busy this month and I was doing fine.  I really was.  I've been busy studying, working out, taking care of Liliana, and cooking every evening to save on money.  But, this week has just taken its toll on me and I feel so deflated.  Before I keep going with this post, I just want to say I'm sorry if it's jumbled and doesn't really make sense.  I actually hadn't planned on posting anything today.  Tomorrow I was going to write Liliana's "Happy 4 Month Birthday" and that was that.  But, I've been sitting here just studying  blankly looking at the screen and have felt so distracted.

His hours have been so long on this rotation.  He usually wakes up around 5:00 and leaves the house around 5:50 in the morning.  Every morning when he's leaving, I wake up and just rest my head on his hand.  When he leaves every morning, my heart sinks because I know it'll be forever until I see him again.  Yesterday, for instance, he rushed in around 6:30 in the evening and was out the door by 6:50.  He had come home to change and had to rush out for a meeting and a presentation he was giving.  He didn't come home until 9.  By the time we put the baby to sleep it was already 10 and like I said...he wakes up at 5, so this barely gave us any time together.

Today, he left the house again at 5:50 and I'm sitting here at 7:55 in the evening without any idea of what he's doing.  That's the hard part of surgeries.  You get no service in the OR and he can't leave in the middle of a surgery to go text his wife!  So instead, I sit here and I wait.

I know I sound like a pathetic little woman.  I'm sorry.  It's just like I said...it's getting to me.  If I knew what he was doing I think it would help.  If I could at least text him it would help.  But instead, I just sit here waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting.

If he was here, I would tell him all about my day.  I would tell him how our Portable DVD player that I ordered used off of Amazon for $45 bucks arrived and that Liliana and I watched some Baby Einstein DVDs together on it.  I would tell him that I found a new set of flashcards to study off of and that the information on them is completely different from the book I had been studying so I'm having a semi panic attack that I wasn't nearly as prepared for my exam on Monday as I thought.

I also don't want to sound like the kind of wife that expects his hours not to be long.  I know what it's like to be married to a Doctor.  Everybody in my family is a doctor.  Trust me, I'm accustomed to it.  BUT, I'm not used to anyone that does surgeries.  AND, I thought the last year would be easier.  This is the kind of life I had expected during his residency, not his last year of medical school.

Anyway, I'm just lonely and I miss him.  That's all.  Sorry for complaining.

I suppose I should close off this post by saying I know he hates this too.  Every evening he looks at me and tells me how much he misses spending time with us.  I see that he's tired and sad too.  And, we miss him.

* Note: He finally got home safe and sound, and exhausted after a 9 hour surgery...at 11:15 pm.  He was leaving the house at 5:50 this morning. Sigh...

Where to Start...

I'll use my first post mainly to describe what this blog is all about and who's writing it. With time, I'm sure I'll use this blog to post about life in general, life as an attorney, as a wife, as a mother, as a woman who loves to work out, as a woman who loves to bake (the last two kinda contradict each other right?), and so much more.

But for the first few posts, I'm sure I'll talk about two things mainly: law school and pregnancy. I'm a third year law student set to graduate in May 2010 (109 days away) and am married to a wonderful man: a third year medical student, set to graduate in Spring 2011 (I won't put the countdown for him, that's just depressing to think about).

Evan and I are high school sweethearts. We started dating on June 7, 2002 and really, from the beginning, knew we were meant to be together. We both graduated from Texas A&M University in May 2007 and got married two weeks later in June 2007. Our first challenge as a "grown-up" couple was the fact that we both wanted to be very successful in life. It seems to be that usually one of the two in a marriage feels that it's their duty to slow life down for everyone's benefit, and while I see the beauty in that, I think perhaps we were both naive and said "let's both go for it!" Fortunately, we both got in to our respective graduate schools quite easily and believe it or not, Lubbock was the best match for us. I got a full scholarship through my three years of law school and we loved the concept of our schools only being 5 minutes apart, so we could occasionally meet for lunch (sometimes the only time we're able to see each other).

I'm not going to lie: the first year of law school sucked. In fact, I pretty much hated it. My husband convinced me to stay in school and said I would regret it if I quit. He was beyond right. I've really come to like the last two years and finally started finding purpose in my days.

Evan and I have always known we wanted to have a big family. We thought the best time to try was going to be in my second semester of law school. That way, I'd be done with the bar and could interview for jobs without a big belly. In the past, I had some medical complications and was not ovulating, but after talking to my physician, he told me not to stress and that when we finally deciding to start trying for a baby, to come see him. I called his office months in advance and made an appointment...little did I know...that appointment would be for my first prenatal visit!

On October 4th, after my boobs had been hurting me to the point where even my t-shirt was hurting, Evan told me he thought I should take a pregnancy test. I thought this idea was ridiculous for a few ideas: we knew I couldn't get pregnant, we were being careful, but most of all...I couldn't have a baby 4 weeks after graduation and while I was studying for the bar exam....RIGHT?? WRONG! He convinced me to stop at Walgreens and I took the first test. I brought it out of the bathroom and just watched while this faint second line started to turn pink...what the hell? I told Evan to come inside, thinking it was all in my head, but all he said was "huh..." HUH??? Oh goodness. We quickly looked on google what a faint second line meant. Everything said, any second line = pregnant. I was still in disbelief, so at 10:30 we went to our grocery store to buy a digital (something I will do from now on, because those other ones are worthless). The grocery store didn't have them...on to Walmart! We bought a digital test at Walmart and I had to come home and wait to pee again. Evan and I normally go to bed early because he wakes up so early through his third year of medical school, but we decided, this night was worth waiting up for. We tried watching T.V. go get our mind off things, but obviously were both quite overwhelmed. I went in to the restroom at midnight and 3 minutes later, it said "yes." All I said was "umm...baby?" Evan quickly jumped up and hugged me while squeezing me so tight. He was beyond thrilled and my tears, well, they were tears of happiness.

In that one moment, I realized how small law school seemed and how much bigger and brighter our lives were about to be. We were pregnant.

The Place Where the Puerto Rican Bakes and the White Boy Cooks Puerto Rican Food

I missed last week's "Show us your life" because we were in New York, so I think it was worth it and I think you guys will forgive me for missing.  Last weeks was "Show us your dining room" and quite honestly, I think that was the best week for me to miss because our dining room happens to be my least favorite room in the house.  It also happens to be Evan's least favorite room in the house too.  I think we despise this room for two reasons: it has carpet still (yuck I know) AND it has been used for studying on multiple occasions.  Whenever we have finals coming up, the dining room table got COVERED in books and we would sit there until god knows what time in the morning.  The thought of that just doesn't leave fuzzy and warm thoughts in your mind.

That being said, I won't leave you guys empty handed.  Today is a DOUBLE Show us your life edition and I'm making up for lost time...

Here is our dining room.  

And since I like to keep with tradition, here are before and after pictures too.

 As you can see, the people that lived here before us gave us a blank slate in pretty much every single room.  I did LOVE the windows in the dining room and how it looks out to the street.

 The dining room today!

We got the table and chairs for FREE from my cousin and his wife who were upgrading.

I then realized that our walls were bare, but I didn't have money to buy artwork...so...

 Before I knew it, our dining room was the "seasonal" dining room.

From left to right, these little paintings that I did represent fall, winter, and spring.

p.s. Yes, I'm not a painter.  I know that.

p.p.s. Each canvas was $4.  I can't buy a print for that cheap.

p.p.p.s. When we finally stop taking out graduate school loans, I'll finally buy artwork.

 The other seasonal artwork in the dining room.

OOOOK, now for the PROPER room of the day...our kitchen!  Our kitchen, like many other people I'm sure, is what sold me on this house.  It was laid out exactly how I wanted AND it had an island.  I believe islands should be REQUIRED in kitchens.  Also, I don't believe in putting a bunch of decoration junk on them.  They are meant to cook on.  And that's what we do.  As you noticed from the title of this blog post, I love baking.  I do cook, and quite often, but my favorite thing to do in this kitchen is bake.  I do it whenever I can, or rather, whenever we think we deserve a little treat.

Before Kitchen Shots

 Remember the blank slate thing from above?  Yep, still reigned true here.

I liked the open concept of this house.  It all flows.

The curtains in the background is the living room and the dining room is to the right of this picture. 

After Kitchen:

 I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I like how I decorated our kitchen.

This green color is the same color I have on one of the walls in our living room.

That table is where Evan and I eat dinner 90% of the time.  Bought it at World Market by the way.

 I took a picture of this because I love this area.  I just think the colors look pretty together.

My Mom painted that plate (yeah, I realize she's amazing).

 On the left of this picture if our Puerto Rican corner.  

And I also took this picture so you could see some of our Halloween decorations!

On the top shelf, you can see some beautifully painted glasses...

 These glasses were painted by my next door neighbor as a wedding gift.  They were the favors at our wedding and she did 250 of them!  Aren't they simply gorgeous?

 Here's the view of where the cooking happens!

Notice my island? YAY!  And, notice how I don't keep a bunch of crap on it!  Just things I BAKED!  (Smores chocolate chip cookies...they are AWESOME)

Our travel wall.

When Evan and I travel we buy a little piece of artwork and display it somewhere in the kitchen.

This wall of the kitchen represents Puerto Rico (top), Paris (middle painting) &Belgium (bottom).

There ya have it!  Our kitchen and dining room.  Whew, that was LONG and exhausting to write.  Hope you liked it!

p.s. Remember to scroll down and enter to win my first giveaway!  The chances of winning are still SUPER high and for $65, you might as well try right?

What to Expect When You're Done Expecting

Before I talk about my recovery, I just want to give a shout out to my sweet husband's blog!  Have you seen it??  It looks amazing.  Mine also looks really snazzy too huh? I'm so thankful to him because he gave our blogs makeovers last night instead of studying! haha.

I have been wanting to write for a few weeks now about my recovery after giving birth to Lilibear.  It's really upsetting that the books rarely talk about this stuff.  They talk plenty about the pregnancy and about giving birth, but stop after that! Are you kidding me? Why didn't you warn me that the worst was yet to come?  I should also warn that this post is a little more graphic than some would like...there are definite moments of TMI, so if you don't wanna read about it, then just click the X at the top right hand corner! : )

For me, personally, the worst was yet to come!  I had a really tough time with recovery.  It was painful and didn't seem like the end was in sight.  I thought giving birth was a joke compared to the recovery.  I should probably start by saying I was fortunate and didn't have any kind of tear (other than a labial tear).  I didn't have an episiotomy, but mainly because my epidural wasn't working so my OB decided against it.  Because I was so lucky in all these regards, I thought the recovery would be a breeze...I was wrong.

One thing I wasn't prepared for was the bleeding!  I knew I would bleed, but I didn't know gallons of the stuff would come out!  It was disgusting and frustrating.  The hospital provides you with these huge underwear and I loved them, haha.  In fact, I asked for some extra ones before we headed home.  They also give you these huge pads.  Again, loved them.  One thing I wish the books would have said: the bleeding doesn't go away for a while.  I thought I would be done bleeding after just a week.  Nope.  And just when you think it starts getting better, you bleed heavily again.  As I said, very frustrating and very disgusting.

Another thing you might not expect: contractions.  Yep, that's right, you're not done with those.  Now, these I can't complain about too much because I didn't think contractions were that horrible when I was in labor.  And before you start saying "yeah but she had an epidural," I made it to 6 without complaining.  Really, I didn't think they were that bad, just weird feeling.  If you're breastfeeding, you'll get contractions more by the way.  A good way to help with this is to force yourself to walk around the hospital floor.  This makes you have contractions and makes you bleed more.  It's a way to speed up that recovery.  I wish I could have done more of it the first day but since we hadn't slept in over 24 hours, I was naturally pretty sleepy.

But the hardest thing, by far, for me was the pain in that area.  Every time I peed, it hurt like crazy...I cried and nearly screamed in pain.  That's how bad it was.  As I've said before, my epidural didn't work for the vaginal area, so I know pain...and yes, those last 3 pushes hurt like hell.  But, I didn't cry!  Yeah, that's how bad this stinging was when I peed.  To make matters worse, it lasted for about a week.  That was horrible.  I never wanted to pee and every time I did, I was in pain for at least 30 minutes after.

Now, I must admit, I'm lucky because I neither got hemorrhoids during or after pregnancy, so I can't give advice there.  But, let me tell you...I've heard they're the worst!   The one thing I can talk about is to also get ready for your booty to be sore!  I mean, you just pushed a baby out quite closely from that area.  Also, the hospital will give you stool softener and send you home with a prescription for it...take it.  That helps.

My last symptom was teaching my boobs that I wasn't going to breast feed.  First off, your boobs get huge and hard.  It wasn't super painful (for me at least) but it was uncomfortable.  I just wore two sports bras for three or four days full time.  Then, once I thought I was in the clear, the leaking started.  Just beware.  Don't wear anything without a bra for at least a month after giving birth.  In fact, just wear those pads just in case...I didn't...I should have.  Ewwwwww....I know.  I learned the hard, and embarrassing way.  Also, in case you don't know...you leak when your baby cries.  It's pretty fascinating and gross all at the same time.

Here's my advice for women recovering:  

(1) Walk. around as much as you can (obviously don't over do it.  I did that once and regretted it because then I didn't want to walk around for quite a few hours after).

(2) ICE PACK ICE PACK ICE PACK.  The stupid nurse didn't give me an ice pack the first day and I really wish she would have.  Evan went out and bought ice packs when we got home and I did that a couple times a day to help with the pain.  It really helped.

(3) Numbing Spray.  Oh yeah, this stuff ROCKS.  I used it 4 times a day for nearly two weeks.  While it sounds disgusting, I found it easier for Evan to spray it on there for me because he could get a better angle.  I'll do another post some day about how essential spousal support is through the recovery process.

(4)  Medication Regiment.  When you're at the hospital, they come and give you your medication every 4 to 6 hours (depending on what you're taking).  I wanted as much as possible to be medication free so I only took Ibuprofen.  But, when I got home I did some stupid things: I only took the medications when I started having pain.  Evan quickly changed this and even asked me if I wanted the Lortab.  I caved in...I took it for a week and also took the Ibuprofen.  Every four hours, like clock work, I took some sort of medication.  This was amazing.

OOOK, I think I'm done with recovery updates.  Was that some effective birth control or what? ; )

25 Weeks and All is Well...

I'm 25 weeks today.  I weighed myself this morning and thought this would be a good post to talk about food, appetite, and eating habits.

I have officially gained 14 pounds throughout the pregnancy.  I had only gained 3 pounds at 20 weeks and in the last 5 weeks, my body ballooned!  I think it's important to talk about how weight gain effects the pregnant woman.  I've, fortunately, never really struggled with weight.  Sure, I've gotten chubbier at times but then again, there are times when I got skinnier.  In general though, I fluctuated in the same 5-7 pound range in the last 8 years.  This doesn't go without work though.  I love working out.  When not pregnant, I workout quite regularly and am a huge fan of Jillian Michaels DVDs.  Unfortunately, I haven't worked out nearly as much as I've wanted throughout the pregnancy due to health complications that always seem to come about, but, I'll write a post just about that some time (if I remember).

After Liliana is born, I'm sure I'll do a post just about Jillian's DVDs and which ones I recommend.  I own all of them and feel like an expert on them...I've only done each about 100 times.  In case you can't tell from my DVD mentionings, I do work out at home (versus a gym).  In college, I was a rec center fan...a big one.  I was there 5 times a week.  But, as law school started, I realized I no longer had time for this.  By the time I drive to and from the gym, I've lost out on a lot of precious studying time.  Therefore, after my first year of law school, I got addicted to working out at home.  I think this will be helpful as I become a working mom.  I can put Liliana in the play pen as I pop in my DVD and get to it.  Plus, I save so much money by not joining a gym.  I know a lot of gyms out there have great deals (ex: just $20 a month!!!!) but I'm a math person...do the math...that's nearly $250 a year.  I know some people love the gym.  My husband really enjoys going to the gym.  I'm sure he'll get a gym membership after he graduates and that's fine. But, in the mean time , if you need "at home" advice, I'm your gal.

As for weight gain in pregnancy, I lost weight the first trimester (which is incredibly common).  I didn't throw up too much during my morning sickness time: 3 times.  So obviously, this isn't what took the weight off.  I just didn't want to eat!  I wasn't hungry!  I felt so sick, so miserable, and so yucky until week 16.  Even though I didnt' work out throughout the time period and was sitting on my butt feeling crappy, I wasn't eating enough to gain weight.

As the second trimester rolled around, I started thinking the pounds would come on.  I was wrong.  At week 20 I had only gained 3 pounds and started worrying about whether I was gaining enough weight.  I asked my OB and he calmed me down.  He said he HATES how the pregnancy books say to gain about 1 to 2 lbs each week.  He said around week 22 or so, the baby will start gaining anywhere from 1/3 to 1/2 lb. a week and that's when you'll start gaining.  But, why should you gain so much before when the baby isn't growing at that fast of a rate?  I finally calmed down and stopped intentionally trying to gain weight.  Sure enough, he was right!  The weight came on by itself.

As for my eating habits and any cravings:  I have not had ONE craving yet.  Through all my morning sickness, I had two things that didn't' make me feel horrible: macaroni and cheese and gingerale.  But, I didn't crave them.  Plus, I love macaroni and cheese all the time, not just when I'm pregnant.  I feel like a horrible mommy-to-be because I haven't eaten healthy at all.  I just eat whatever sounds appetizing at the time.  If that means pizza, then I eat pizza.  If that means bananas, then I'll eat bananas.  But I haven't changed my eating habits.  Included in that statement: my appetite hasn't increased one bit yet.  I know it likely will with time, but from every thing I've read, most women have had an increase in appetite already...and I haven't.  I'm not complaining about this though.

My philosophy with eating throughout this pregnancy is pretty simple: eat when hungry, not just for the heck of it.  I've had COUNTLESS people ask me "are you enjoying being able to eat whatever you want??"  Why in the world would I do this?  I'll just have to work out even more after Liliana is born if I maintain that way of thinking!  So, I'll eat when it sounds good, but when my body isn't hungry, I won't eat needless calories that will give me more stretch marks and a dumpier butt.  No thank you sir!  : )

I Don't Feel Guilty That . . .

Since Liliana was born over 12 weeks ago, I've admittedly had moments where I feel like I'm the worst mother in the world!  Some blogs out there are pretty darn brutal with their opinions of ways Moms raise their children.  After reading them, I always ask myself, "why don't I have the strong urge to stay home?" or "why don't I feel horrible about not breastfeeding her?"  I've even occasionally thought maybe Evan and I shouldn't have that many more children because I'm obviously missing that "Mommy gene" that everyone else around me possesses. 

However, after talking about this with Evan a million times, I actually finally and for the first time in 8 1/2 years, listened to my husband!  He has shown me and told me multiple times that everyone is a different kind of mother and just because you don't parent like someone else or just because your child doesn't act like others doesn't mean anything!  Every couple and every family will function in their own way, and I think as mothers, we need to start cutting each other some slack!!  Every Mommy has her own Mommy gene, and that's OK.

So after reading blog after blog that enhanced my Mommy guilt, I've decided to write a little bit about things I refuse to feel guilty about anymore.  Whether you're a mother or not, I think everybody should write a "I Don't feel guilty that" list everynow and then.  It's nice to realize that you're doing your best.

SO, HERE GOES:  I DON'T FEEL GUILTY THAT . . .

I didn't breastfeed Liliana:  I have read on some blogs things such as "well, your daughter isn't going to have a very high IQ because you didn't breastfeed her."  I sat there at my computer in shock thinking, well how do you respond to that?  "Well, GREAT!  That's what I had hoped... for Liliana to be dumb."  For starters, and not to toot our own horn, but Evan and I are a pretty smart couple: a doctor and a law school graduate does not usually a stupid kid make.  I was formula fed, by the way, and it turned out ok!  I think it's a horrbile thing to make mothers feel guilty about this decision.  For us, it's been wonderful.  Evan and I have split the feedings pretty darn evenly and this has been so special to see him bond with her.  In fact, I feel that the time I bonded with Liliana first wasn't when I breastfed her (which I did the first 3 days in the hospital), but when I first saw him give her a bottle.  It was so breathtakingly beautiful.  Plus, since we had two HUGE tests that we were studying for, our sleep was essential and the formula feeding helps with that.  Anyway, long story short: I don't feel guilty and I think it's pretty mean for other bloggers to make Mothers feel guilty about it.  Moms, just do what's best for you two...whether you want to breastfeed or formula feed, it's a personal decision!!

That you leave them in their bouncy chair for a nap instead of the crib:  As I posted about earlier, Liliana goes to sleep AMAZINGLY...unless it's nap time.  For some reason, the girl abhores sleeping in her crib during the day.  So, I don't feel guilty anymore that she just takes that hour long nap in her bouncy chair.  I do try every single day just to see if things have changed, but inevitably, I succumb to her wishes and she sleeps in that bouncy chair.  It makes for a happy baby and a happy Mommy.

For wanting alone time with your husband:  Evan and I still take time EVERY SINGLE day to have "us" time.  Now, I don't just mean that kind of time, although I feel it is so important as well. Here, in particular, I also mean adult conversation time.  We make it a point to not just talk about Liliana all the time (which I must admit, is hard sometimes because she's just so darn cute lately with all her smiles and coos).  Every single day we lay in bed or on the couch just talking about whatever. Sometimes it's about serious things such as what we want from our lives (he's applying for residencies right now and that has been really stressful) and sometimes we just laugh and tickle each other.  Every day we remind each other that in the beginning there were two.  That is SO important.  I don't feel guilty for desiring this alone time with my husband because I feel it makes me a better parent.

For leaving them for 45 minutes a day in order to workout:  Even while in San Antonio, I have MADE the time to workout at least 3 times a week.  I don't feel guilty that in this time period, Liliana is usually in her bouncy chair entertaining herself.  For me, it's important to stay (or try to get) physically fit.  I feel better about myself and am happier as a result.  Why would I feel guilty for wanting to be happier?  I love working out and then when I'm all gross and sweaty, I give her big hugs afterwards because she still loves me anyway.  ; )

For taking them to daycare:  I have read on SO many blogs that Mothers think it's selfish when other Moms take their children to daycare...this makes me very upset.  In fact, I read one blog where a Mother said, "don't you want to see your child walk for the first time?"  What kind of response are working Moms supposed to give?  "WELL, actually, I was hoping to NEVER see her walk!"  HA!  Liliana will be starting daycare in September so I can study for these teacher certification exams, and hopefully after that, I'll have a job!  This has probably been the hardest one for me to say: I don't feel guilty for being EXCITED about taking Liliana to daycare.  For now, I think the benefit will mainly be for me to study, but once Liliana really starts interacting, I can't wait for her to get to know other little kiddos her age and to start crawling and talking with other babies...it will get her socialized and I'll just watch her on the web cam at the daycare during any break I get.  I don't feel guilty for wanting to work while my baby is happily playing. 

I hope this post didn't offend anyone!  I just think it's important for Moms to step back and realize that everyone does their best!! 

Don't Leave Home Without It: Butt Paste...and Other Things

When Liliana was born, the first two days were a complete blur.  Then, the exciting first milestone hit: her first pediatrician appointment!  Evan, as a medical student or heck as a resident, did not/ will not get the beautiful luxury of paternity leave and I as you guys know, got 2 days of maternity leave (also known as the two days in the hospital).  As soon as we got home, I was studying full time and Evan was back to his family medicine rotation.  So 30 minutes before leaving for her first appointment, I panicked: I hadn't packed her diaper bag!  Then I started realizing I had NO IDEA what you needed in a diaper bag other than, well, diapers.  Thank goodness my Mom was there and we packed the essential items for a newborns diaper bag.  To help other mothers not panic, I've decided to list the items I have in our diaper bag right now.  Now mind you, Liliana is about 11 weeks old, so I realize that I'm missing items I would need later when she's eating solids or when she's more interactive.  I'll do an update post in a few months to help with that time period.

 Christmas morning opening gifts...excuse my ugly face. 

It's the no make-up Christmas morning look...you know what I'm talking about.

To start with, I should talk about my diaper bag.  I got it as a Christmas gift from one of my Mom's friends and I LOVE it. It's Vera Bradley and the color design is Carnaby.  In fact, it's on sale right now! Evan has a diaper bag as well.  I just asked him if he likes his diaper bag and he said "uh huh" which is about as positive a response as you can get from a guy, so I'm assuming it's actaully pretty fabulous.  Actually, his is really neat because it has a ton of pockets up front and looks like a messenger bag...would never guess it's a diaper bag, except for the fact that it says Diaper Dude on the side...awww.  Evan chose it himself which I thought was adorable.  He spent a lot of time before choosing, so for those ladies out there wanting to get their guy a diaper bag, this one is guy and Daddy approved!

  Both of ours came with the matching changing pad, and most diaper bags do, but obviously if your bag doesn't, it's an absolute necessity to have.  Trust me, when you go in to fast food establishments and pull down their changing stations, you'll think to yourself "there is no way in hell I'm putting my sweet baby on that disgusting thing that hasn't been cleaned in ages" (yeah McDonalds, I'm talking to you!).  Now for the items to put inside:

(1) Diapers and Diaper Wipes: I have at least 5 diapers in there.  This is good for the real messy poops because sometimes that requires 2 diapers while changing.  And if you pack at least 5, you won't have to replace your supply after every outing.  As for the wipes, I have a wipes case as opposed to those packs that come with 10 to save on money.

(2) Burp Cloth: I always keep a burp cloth and usually one of my most absorbent ones in my bag.  I keep one of my thickets in the bag because chances are that if I'm out and about I'm not in my pajamas (translation: I don't want my nice clothes to get stained).  That being said, when they happen to have a really wet burp, no burp cloth is about to cover that huge mess.

(3) Blanket: Liliana gets REALLY pissy when she's cold.  They say that for babies it's check the diaper and that they're fed, but Liliana would rather sleep in her own poop than be cold.  So even in the summer, keep a little receiving blanket in there because when you go to a restaurant or out to the stores, the temperature outside won't matter one bit.

(4) A change of clothes (including socks):  Sometimes, babies clothes get dirty and that doesn't bother me too much. But when you're changing a dirty diaper in a cramped space, the poop gets on their clothes and especially on their socks because they kick around those adorable feet until they land in their not so adorable poop.  I kept the most simple onesie and sock that I had because these are back-ups: a white onesie and some plain socks will do.

(5) Butt Paste: Have you noticed how much this post is about bowel movements?  Well the word diaper bag and poop pretty much go hand-in-hand.  Now so far we've been lucky because Liliana has stayed booty rash free!  However, every now and then you get some redness and we put on a tad of some cream to prevent a fussy booty and therefore baby.  At home I have the Aveeno one, but we had a coupon for the Butt Paste and Evan bought those for our diaper bags...it is AMAZING.  I prefer it GREATLY over the Aveeno and will buy it once the Aveeno runs out (sorry Aveeno).  It goes on really smoothly, and...oh wait...this is kinda gross isn't it?  Ok, the stuff slides on well on their hiney's ok?  It's nice.  Buy it.  Enough said.

(6) Baby Lotion: You won't believe how often I've needed this.  Whenever you're out and realize that they have some cradle cap or dryness on their face, you'll thank me for having read this.  Buy a little travel size.

(7) Hand Sanitizer:  This is ESSENTIAL for when you're changing gross diapers and you're not around a bathroom.  My Mom bought me a little travel size foam pump one...I have used it many many times.

(8)  Diaper Bag Dispenser:  These things are AWESOME when you're on the road.  A diaper with pee isn't too bad to have in your bag for an extended period of time, but when they poop?  Oh man.  Plus, you don't want to go putting smelly diapers in your friends trashcans when you're over for a visit.  These little clips are $4.00 and you can buy extra bags as well.  I don't know how they work so well, but they are amazing.  They keep the smell away for days.  This is probably my biggest surprise from all the gimmicky things that I bought.

Well there you go!  I hope this helps some Mommy fill their bag before their first visit. ; )