His hours have been so long on this rotation. He usually wakes up around 5:00 and leaves the house around 5:50 in the morning. Every morning when he's leaving, I wake up and just rest my head on his hand. When he leaves every morning, my heart sinks because I know it'll be forever until I see him again. Yesterday, for instance, he rushed in around 6:30 in the evening and was out the door by 6:50. He had come home to change and had to rush out for a meeting and a presentation he was giving. He didn't come home until 9. By the time we put the baby to sleep it was already 10 and like I said...he wakes up at 5, so this barely gave us any time together.
Today, he left the house again at 5:50 and I'm sitting here at 7:55 in the evening without any idea of what he's doing. That's the hard part of surgeries. You get no service in the OR and he can't leave in the middle of a surgery to go text his wife! So instead, I sit here and I wait.
I know I sound like a pathetic little woman. I'm sorry. It's just like I said...it's getting to me. If I knew what he was doing I think it would help. If I could at least text him it would help. But instead, I just sit here waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting.
If he was here, I would tell him all about my day. I would tell him how our Portable DVD player that I ordered used off of Amazon for $45 bucks arrived and that Liliana and I watched some Baby Einstein DVDs together on it. I would tell him that I found a new set of flashcards to study off of and that the information on them is completely different from the book I had been studying so I'm having a semi panic attack that I wasn't nearly as prepared for my exam on Monday as I thought.
I also don't want to sound like the kind of wife that expects his hours not to be long. I know what it's like to be married to a Doctor. Everybody in my family is a doctor. Trust me, I'm accustomed to it. BUT, I'm not used to anyone that does surgeries. AND, I thought the last year would be easier. This is the kind of life I had expected during his residency, not his last year of medical school.
Anyway, I'm just lonely and I miss him. That's all. Sorry for complaining.
I suppose I should close off this post by saying I know he hates this too. Every evening he looks at me and tells me how much he misses spending time with us. I see that he's tired and sad too. And, we miss him.
* Note: He finally got home safe and sound, and exhausted after a 9 hour surgery...at 11:15 pm. He was leaving the house at 5:50 this morning. Sigh...