Sunday, July 4, 2010

Being a Pregnant Law Student

I've noticed that a lot of people have been finding my blog through "pregnant during law school" or "can I do law school while pregnant" searches.  When I was about 5 months along, I did this post about Being Pregnant in Law School.  I thought I would write some more posts expanding on that and giving some more advice because now I can post when I think it's best to have a baby in law school and more so, whether I think it would be possible to be a mother to a newborn during law school.  For today's post, I'll expand more on just being pregnant in law school in general.  In the next few posts, I'll write about being a Mother during law school, and when I think it's best to have a baby in law school (if you have that kind of flexibility). 


As I had posted a few months ago, being pregnant during law school wasn't what I would call easy.  At first, it wasn't too bad, but when the morning sickness sets in, coupled with exhaustion during the first trimester, you're pretty miserable.  You wonder "how can I do this?"  Then, during the second trimester, you think "oh ok, I feel like a normal human being again...I can manage."  And finally, by the third trimester, your mind has gone to lala land and you do have some problems focusing.  There are many things to consider about having a baby in law school, or in my case, 6 days after graduation.  There are, quite honestly, positives and negatives to both.

I do, however, think a few things are essential.  If you are doing this completely on your own (in other words, wanting to be a single mommy), I would recommend you wait until at least the end of your first year.  If I wouldn't have had my wonderful husband around, I honestly would have taken a semester off.  Here's the problem with pregnancy: you can't plan how you'll feel!  Some women are really lucky and they never have anything out of the ordinary happen, or they have no morning sickness.  But, I had horrible morning sickness and I was still throwing up in to my trash can with my husband holding my hair up at nearly 20 weeks.  So don't think it'll be perfect and that you've timed everything your way.  My little precious girl was born nearly 4 weeks early.  I still have no idea how I would have managed if her due date had been June 1st and then she would have come smack dab in the middle of finals.  Yeah...not good.  These are all things I strongly encourage you to consider.

Another thing to consider is how important grades and extracurriculars are in your life. Once the morning sickness really started setting in, it was very hard to focus.  I'll give you an example:  when I was 8 weeks along and my morning sickness was pretty bad, I took my MPRE (Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam).  I failed it the first time.  This test is not hard...seriously...it's embarrassing that I failed.  I took it the second time in my second trimester when I felt better and passed it with flying colors.  Additionally, you can't be in a million extracurriculars either because you'd be letting down your teammates when not feeling well.  I remained very involved on my journal, because I loved the people that I worked with.  I also worked approximately 20 hours a week at a law firm.  Looking back on it, I should have probably cut out my clerking at the firm.  Working and the journal were ok together, but adding in the school work was too much and that is also why my grades suffered so much.  You will have to learn what works for you and make sure to not over do it. 


Another thing I really noticed through this entire experience is that there isn't ever a perfect time to have a baby.  While my husband and I weren't exactly planning to get pregnant that fine day in September (oops! haha), I'm not sure it would have been any easier in the years following.  This is a decision that you and your partner have to make TOGETHER (that is, if it's planned).  Once Evan and I got to thinking about it, there were many positives about the timing.  Throughout Liliana's first year, Evan will be in his fourth year of medical school which isn't nearly as strenuous as his first year of residency!  So as I said, think about how things would be as a couple.  This is going to be a balancing act.  Get ready to start working together NOW, before you get pregnant, because you'll be a team more than ever once your cute bundle of joy comes along.

Note: if this is the first time you've seen my blog, I also recommend the following posts:

Just a Typical Saturday in the Lacefield House:  This could be the kind of schedule you'd have on a weekend with a newborn if your partner is available to help you 24 hours of the day.  Consider how this would fit in to your schedule during law school.  In some ways, it's perfect because you study on your own time most of the year.  It would obviously be hard during finals.

Pregnancy Doctor Visits:  At my law school, they took attendance during our classes and we could  typically miss between 2 - 6 class periods during each semester.  Consider how this schedule would fit in to all of this.  This is, in my opinion, a big positive for being in law school while pregnant because I don't care so much if I miss one class period, but when you're a brand new associate they will not be happy that you're missing so much work!

What to Expect when You're Done Expecting:  Here is the hardest part about having the baby during law school: the recovery.  If you had a job, you would have a couple weeks to physically recover.  Sure, you'll be exhausted during your hours as an associate, but the recovery while you're sitting in class would be rough.
 This is something to consider...talk with your school and see what their policies are.



Overall,  it's a decision you will have to make!  All I'm doing by writing these posts are giving you things to think about.  There are definitely positives and negatives to both.  That being said, personally, for me, if I didn't have the bar to be studying for this would have been perfect. I am happy I was pregnant during law school.  Even though our pregnancy was not per se planned...it ended up fitting our lives very well, much better than if I had been working as a new associate.  I saw how much the associates worked at the firm I clerked for... and let me tell you, when I left the office at 6 p.m. because I had had enough of the nausea, they had to stick around and keep getting their stuff done.  Like I said, if I had to miss class for an appointment, it wasn't a problem.  Also, yes my grades went down because I felt sick, but in the big scheme of things that sure sounds a lot better than the other option: when you're an associate, if your job performance goes down for months, there might be some more serious consequences.  Hope all this information helped!!  Please note, every pregnancy is different and some people might feel differently about this...I'm just giving my opinion from my experience.

Also...please excuse my subliminal messages ....  ;  ) 

17 comments:

  1. My wife may be sugar-coating the first year. As I recall, Friday night was date night. We would get a pizza and rent a movie and take 2 hours together. Other than that, she was studying. The first year is hard and would have been horrible with a newborn.
    If you are going to have a new baby when you start, get a daycare and make law school an 8-5 everyday. You will often have to work late, but most of the time 8-5 will suffice. Make sure hubby is on board and willing to play Mr. Dad on those nights you will be studying late.

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  2. And you look gorgeous in that last picture hottie!

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  3. Found you through SITS...you have a beautiful baby! Have a fabulous day!!!

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  4. That's incredible that you did school while pregnant. When I found out I was pregnant with my second, I decided to put my nursing degree on hold for a semester or two until he was a little older and easier for my husband/mom to care for while I was in class. Good on you for sticking with it!
    Found you through SITS!

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  5. Great post! This helped encourage me so much! I've just finished my first year, and am due just after finals this December. I am SO praying hard that this baby doesn't come early!

    Since I'm a part time law student, I work during the day and squeeze classes in when I can and during the evenings, my schedule has some flexibility -- but not much.

    I'm debating whether or not to take the spring semester off just to focus on baby... or if I should still try to take one or two classes. What do you think?

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  6. I think the best recommendation I can give you is to wait a little while and see. A big thing I've been preaching throughout the pregnancy and law school thing is to expect the unexpected. What if your baby has colic? Going to work, school, and studying would be impossible to handle when they're crying 3 hours a day. So, long story short...wait until you HAVE to make that decision and see how things are going. Also, start talking with your administration NOW about finals in December. I had informed our administration of my situation and they were ready to administer the exams at a later time if I had gone in to labor. Warning them in advance is the best way to garner respect. GOOD LUCK!

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  7. Christy,

    I have read several of your posts and find them very encouraging. Like yourself, my husband and I got a nice little surprise that we were pregnant while I was in my last year of law school. Also, like you, we are due right before I am set to graduate (i.e. during finals). That's not the hard part, the hard part is preparing for the bar exam with a newborn. Talking to administration has been great, they are more than willing to work with me given I deliver early or late. But I am really nervous about preparing for the bar. I have tons of family to help out and even can do the mobile BarBri option to study from home. Just knowing that ONE other person has done this is enough for me. I am lucky enough to have a job waiting on the other side (like you utilizing my law degree, but NOT WITH A LAW FIRM) but passing the bar is still a requirement. Thanks again for your posts, you've made a world of a difference after reading negative comments elsewhere!

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  8. From my own point of view, pregnancy while schooling can be an advantage because you are more inspired to learn while taking extra care of your body. Imagine the patience needed to not overwork yourself but still excel in school – that would teach you how to value time and money. Well, in any case, I think that would be good for the child, as he/she will have a role model to look up to.

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  9. I truly agree with you, Jooseppi. She’s fortunate to have a new inspiration to look up to. And look how cute her baby is! That little angel could be her lucky charm in her chosen field, and for always. =)

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  10. It’s kind of rare to meet a law student nursing her pregnancy at the same time. And if I were in the same condition, I’d be so inspired and feel so blessed. It must be overwhelming, knowing that you have the opportunity to work in such a prestigious field and study while waiting for your baby. I wonder if your cute baby will absorb everything you’ve been studying and eventually get interested in it when she grows up. =)

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  11. You’re a very strong and determined woman! Studying law school can be very challenging, yet you managed to go through it all and come out very successful. You’re such a great inspiration to your hubby and daughters. Best of luck with everything! ;)

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  12. I commend you for not giving up with your dream. A lot of youth today experience what you’ve just experienced but they were easily entangled by the frustration of their predicament. It must be really your passion to be a lawyer because of the spirit you are showing. Cheers!

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  13. Congratulations for your cute little angel. Now that you have a new inspiration to look up to, I’m pretty confident that you’ll do well in your chosen field. I’m also impressed that you’ve chosen law as a profession. A lawyer mommy, that sounds cool! I know that your child will be so proud of her mom when she grows up. =) I wish you the best of luck!

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  14. I am very happy for you Cristy. It is really not easy to study law during you pregnancy, but you still managed to go through everything wisely. You and your husband supported each other, and that is what matters. You’re a tough mommy and I am sure, you’re adorable baby will be so proud of you.

    Mike Clark

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  15. Awww, you’re so brave Cristy! Taking care of a baby while going to law school is really hard, but I bet you can be become an amazing mom and an excellent lawyer at the same time. Anyway, keep up the good work, Cristy!

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  16. It's kind of hard to raise a child while you're still studying, and your taking law courses, it might be difficult to concentrate memorizing. :) But I salute you for pulling it off. So, how's your daughter now? I'm sure she's all grown up by now. :)

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  17. If you’re determined to succeed, then nothing can stop you from achieving your goals. Being in a law school is stressful, and it demands time, patience, effort, and a lot of hard work, that’s why I admire your persistence. So how’s your daughter and your studies? It’s been two years already, I hope you’re still doing great! :)

    -Tracy Pierre

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