I've decided to give you guys MY piece of advice, and then my favorite Dr.'s piece of advice to parents (aka Liliana's Daddy).
Cristina's Parenting Advice: TEAMWORK
I HATE the notion that it is the woman's job to get up every night and give the babies their bottle or that women change the majority of diapers, etc. I think parenting is ALL ABOUT TEAMWORK. I think women too often think their husband's can't handle doing these things or don't know how to do them correctly and honestly, I think that's showing so very little faith in your spouse!
When I go see a new baby in a house, I'm astonished at how many Dad's aren't ever waking up in the middle of the night or how many Dad's simply hand the baby over to Mommy when the baby has gone to the restroom. REALLY?
If you MADE the baby, then CHANGE the baby ... that's my motto!
Evan and I are ALL ABOUT TEAMWORK in our household. Since Liliana was born we've made it a big point to do this TOGETHER in every single way possible. If one of us is getting her changed because she got her outfit dirty, the other is washing her bottles, putting the dirty one in the hamper, and choosing a new one.
Do you know what the result of all of this is? Less frustration on either parents part!! When Liliana is fussy, I only have to deal with HALF the fuss because Evan's there to help pick her up half the time.
Now that he has started residency, this has obviously changed some. He works ridiculous hours and quite honestly, he has literally shed tears because he sees her so much less. That being said, when he gets home he tells me to go to the couch, relax for 30 minutes, and just does everything with Liliana. WHENEVER we have a diaper change while he's around, he does it, whether we're at Target or home because he knows that since he's started residency, he owes me! : )
We honestly make parenting a JOYFUL thing not a stressful thing! People always joke with us that they've never seen parents FIGHTING over who gets to bathe her or put her to bed. We switch who gets these honors every night so to us, yes it is a privilege! SO YES, TEAMWORK.
You both made the sweet thing, now both PARENT. Parenting isn't just fun or just discipline. It's a TON of things in between and you BOTH should be involved throughout it all.
ENJOY their smiles.
Dr. Daddy's Advice: They Will be FINE
I told Evan I was going to write this post today and he said "my best parenting advice to parents? The kid is going to be FINE!"
Throughout medical school Evan worked quite a lot in the pediatric clinics and time after time he saw parents concerned about: "the baby isn't eating well, the baby isn't pooping, the baby isn't as mobile as he should be," etc. I am going to say RIGHT NOW that I am NOT AT ALL judging these kinds of mothers ... I become that mother ALL THE TIME!
And do you know what Evan tells me every single time I express concern?
SHE IS GOING TO BE FINE.
And gosh darn it, he has been right every single time.
When Liliana turned one, I was SO concerned because she wasn't walking yet. I fussed about it every single day. Evan kept telling me 'are you serious? She'll walk!'
Well ... guess who was right? I now have a 14 month old that NEVER crawls, and more like RUNS everywhere.
Running at the AWESOME splash pad we have downtown
Dr. Daddy always puts in a caveat and says "we'll keep an eye on this and if EVER we think there's a need to do something, then we'll do it!"
And he has kept his word. If I ever tell him, "no I think she's sick enough to take to the Doctor," he never makes fun of me. We're a TEAM so he's on my side. And I'm on his side, because the majority of the time, I have learned, she is going to be FINE! : )
We parent like you all do: as a team. I have a lot of friends who gripe that their husbands don't help, and I think they are enablers. If you want to go out for a night, ask your husband WHAT night can you watch the baby? We take turns with everything, too. Since I do daycare duty (drop off and usually pick up), dad handles bath and bedtime bottle. While I feed him his solids, dad washes bottles. Dad takes diapers out, I play with baby. Etc etc etc. I totally agree with you that it is a team effort. I feel blessed to have an involved husband and father - he's the best. Your daughter is precious :)
ReplyDeleteI think your husband has the best advice ever. Every child is different and so much of what we worry about is just NOTHING. But then it's in our "mom brain" to worry, worry, worry. ;)
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I share the load of raising our children too. This has always been our policy. The last year when our daughter was diagnosed with a brain tumor it proved to be a good way and made it so much easier on our entire family.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I'm not a parent I definitely have to say, your idea of teamwork sounds like the healthiest way to handle raising a child. :) In turn, I believe the child sees it and feels it. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm a bit lucky because my husband has always been helping hands for me. I would recommend anyone to get some book on parenting for dads to be so they will have more clue what they can do to help.
ReplyDeleteYour baby is so adorable!
ReplyDeleteI love your ideas sharing about your family, both advise from your husband and how to take care your family. I want to have more kids and learn more ideas from you. Thank you.:)
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