It's the Cut of the Swimsuit...Right?

Well people, it's been two weeks.  Two freaking weeks...14 whole days...and I stepped on the scale again this morning.  Sigh...

I said two weeks ago that I wanted to get my pre-baby body back.  I know that people say "it takes time," but a large part of me believed it was women being lazy and not working out.  Well, as I blogged about earlier, I went for my post-partum visit exactly a week from yesterday.  He gave me the green light on exercising but just told me to take it easy for the first few weeks since my hips could still be sensitive to certain motions.  "Alright!!" I thought.  Let's do this thing.

So, I thought I did pretty darn well the last couple of weeks.  Here's my progress:

Exercise: I've worked out four times already!  I've gotten sore every time.  I got pretty darn sore the first time and it's been subsiding a little since.  Since I'm studying for the bar, my workouts are short: between 20 - 30 minutes.  I realize this is pathetic.  I know.  But, it's all that I have time for, so it'll have to do.   I work out every other day.  My husband is the sweetest and he has been working out with me every single time as moral support.  I think this is a good time to mention what I do for my workout routine: Jillian Michaels.  I am obsessed with this woman.  I own nearly all her DVDs (I have 8 total) and they seriously kick your ass.  Even my husband agrees.

I've been doing some cardio, some strength, and of course my favorite, the 30 day Shred:

I only did Level 1 for now and will probably stick to that for the next couple weeks.  I really do love working out and more so, doing it at home.  Through this blog, I hope to help other women that are trying to lose the baby weight, or just lose weight in general.  I think in another life, I could have been a personal trainer.  The only problem is, I like to eat.  I could have done the exercise part, but would have been horrible at suggesting what they eat...I mean hello, did you not see my post about our Saturday meal?  Anyway, all in all, I'm proud of myself for working out four times and not even being 6 weeks postpartum.  I think I've done rather well.


My Eating Habits:  There's some good...and some bad to report in this department.  I left two bites of every meal on my plate as I had wanted to do.  So, thumbs up there!  Thumbs down though because I ate ice cream nearly every night for a week!  OOPS!  Darn it.  Granted, it was a small amount every evening, but I should have said no.  Fortunately, the ice cream is finished and I'm thoroughly sick of the stuff, so that won't be happening anymore.  As I've mentioned before, I don't' believe in dieting: I believe in moderation. So, if I want a little ice cream, I'll give myself a little ice cream. 

Now, the moment of truth:

Pre-pregnancy weight: 126 pounds

Weight the day I went into labor: 163 pounds

Today's weight:  141.4 pounds

UUUGH!! I'm so freaking frustrated.  I did a better job with my eating, I worked out a few times, and I only lost 1.6 pounds in two weeks?  What the heck?

To make matters worse, guess what I had to do yesterday?  Buy a swimsuit.  I've decided that next time I have a kid, I'm having it during the winter.  That way, I won't have to go out in a swimsuit within weeks of having had a baby.  This weekend, my Dad is coming in to town and we're going to the pool to swim together with Evan.  I took a break from studying and tried on swimsuits at Target...I swear, I would rather be studying!  They looked freaking horrible.  And if you want complete honesty on this blog: the mediums didn't fit. Yep, that's right, I have made my ass large enough to officially be considered large.  Yuck.  So, we went to Old Navy because I decided I desperately wanted a one-piece.  I ended up finding a cute one AND it was in a Medium, thank you very much.  Evan, of course, says I look "freaking hot" in it.  Ain't he sweet? 

Enough with the joking around though.  I know it hasn't even been six weeks, but seeing my body in this fashion has been tough emotionally.  I have definitely done the standing in front of the mirror naked thing...I just stand there grabbing all my gross fat deposits.  Evan will walk by and tell me to stop doing that.  He keeps telling me I look great for only having given birth 5 weeks ago.  But, as a woman, I miss seeing what I used to be.  For that reason, I'm going to keep on trucking every two weeks, posting on here every other Wednesday, and holding myself accountable until that baby weight is off darn it!!

Goal for the next two weeks:  Keep working out!  I won't have time to increase the time of the workouts, so by the end of the next two weeks, I want to have moved up on intensity.  Also, I want to try and keep a more positive attitude.  I know the weight will come off eventually, so I can't give up and get negative about it.

Eventual Goal: 15.4 pounds to go to return to pre-baby weight!

My Favorite Beauty Products

Today I decided I'd blog about something completely unrelated to life...no bar exam, no school, not even Liliana (as hard as that'll be).  I just wanted to write about something light hearted and completely irrelevant to anything important: my favorite beauty products.  You know how magazines always list the best beauty products of the year (such as "best face wash" and "best lotion?")  Well...here are my tops ones!  If you guys have any of your favorites, let me know!

Best Face Wash: Clearasil Daily Wash

Out of all my favority beauty products, this is #1.  I've been using Clearasil for over 10 years now.  And, I have to admit (as conceited as it sounds) that I very rarely ever got pimples (even through my puberty years).  Another thing I love about this product: it's CHEAP.  People spend so much money on face wash.  When I was about 14, I started getting some pimples and my Mom took me to Clinique.  Sixty bucks later I came home with a bar of soap, the toner, and the lotion.  Three months later, I still looked pimpley.  When I changed to this ($4 a bottle!), the pimples went away and I've been addicted ever since.

Best Face Scrub: Clean and Clear Steam Scrub
I tend to have pretty dry skin, so I only use this once a week, but when I do, I love it.  You put it on your face and wait a minute in the shower.  After that, you scrub it in (it exfoliates) and your face feels so much smoother!  If you have more oily skin, I'm sure you could do it 2 - 3 times a week, but I don't recommend doing it on a daily basis.  This is basically a little facial that you can do yourself and it's cheap...yes please.
 



Best Face Lotion:  St. Ives Collagen Elastin Lotion 
After my loving Clearasil, this is my #2 favorite beauty product.  I found this face lotion on a complete whim one day.  I used to use the Clinique Dry Face Lotion and hated paying $24.00 for the bottle.  Well, one day I had run out of lotion and we were at the grocery store.  I saw this stuff and it was $5 so I decided I should just go ahead and try it out...best decision EVER.  This tub lasts you well over a year (I'm still using it and it's been 13 months).  And, trust me, I use lotion on my face EVERY SINGLE DAY since it's so dry.  Another reason this stuff is great: guys can use it too.  My husband uses it every other day after he shaves.

Best Body Lotion: Ahava Body Lotion
This post is about my favorite right?  Well, then it's Ahava.  However, this stuff is beyond pricey.  A huge bottle of this is about $40.  WOAH.  I have never come close to paying that much though.  They sell this at Stein Mart and at TJ Maxx for cheaper...around $20.  Still though, that's more than I'd like to pay for my body lotion.  My mother-in-law found it at CostCo once with a couple other bottles in a package for $20 and bought one for me...LOVED having it.  That being said, I haven't bought it again.  It's just too pricey.  What lotion is my favorite after that?  Honestly, I don't really have a favorite.  Since I have such dry skin, I'm picky.  I usually just get whatever is on sale and dream of using Ahava...

Best Make-up Products:  MAC and Too Faced Brands
I'm going to seem like a total snob when it comes to my make-up products, but let me explain: I can't buy make-up products from the drugstore because I've had allergic reactions to both Maybelline and Cover Girl.  Granted, this was approximately 10 years ago, but it's a risk I'm not willing to take again.  I used Clinique for years to avoid this problem, but wanted a change and fell in love with MAC stuff for my eyes and Too Faced for my lip balm and powder.  Truth be told, I don't wear too much make-up.  Growing up, my parents had to kinda force it on me...I was a tomboy.

One thing that took me a while to find was my favorite lip balm.  The product was called Bunny Lip Balm and the tin was $11 but lasted me over three years, so I didn't mind spending that.  The sad thing is...as I was searching their website right now in order to post a picture, they don't seem to be selling it anymore!! OH NO!  Now, I don't know what I'll do.  You can still get it from other websites, but I don't think it'll last long.  Snag some while you can!
As for the eye products, I really only use MAC for the eyeshadows.  The colors are gorgeous though and the color stays put all freaking day.  Warning though: not cheap.

Best Fragrances: Ralph Lauren Blue and Victoria's Secret Love Spell

Let me tell you, my husband is obsessed with the Victoria's Secret scent.  I can't tell you how many times I've sent my sweet mother-in-law in to Victoria's Secret to get me this stuff for my birthday or Christmas.  It's not my fault though...it's the only scent that Evan actually notices on me!  I even use their Shampoo and Conditioner.  As far as my favorite perfume goes, I'm in love with my Ralph Lauren Blue.  Evan might not comment on it (he just doesn't' notice it), but trust me, the scent is strong and lasts all day.  My brother, who I think would consider himself a perfume and cologne expert, always comments on how nice I smell and how much he loves this perfume.  The bottle is big too!  Highly recommend these two.  You'll love the way you smell and guys will too!  : )

Hope you enjoyed my top beauty products!  I am by no means an expert in this area, but I sure as heck am loyal to a few things and wanted to share.  Let me know if you disagree or have recommendations of stuff you just can't live without.

Just a Typical Saturday in the Lacefield House...

For some reason, it really started hitting me this week that we're parents.  Maybe it's because my Mom wasn't here and it was just us two again.  Maybe it's because Liliana is getter older which means she's sleeping less, she's crying more, and she's interacting with us a great deal more as well.  Before babies, a typical Saturday for Evan and I would have started around 11 in the morning.  We would have woken up around 10:30 and stayed in bed watching something stupid on television (our pre-baby Saturday morning tradition).  Then, one of the two of us would inevitably have to get out of bed to pee and realize we should probably eat breakfast.  We normally ate breakfast in bed and then by noon or one o'clock we started our day.  We studied for a few hours and then went out to dinner and hung out with friends.  Sure, many times, we just stayed home and didn't go out (we aren't in College anymore after all), but we always took at least a few hours in the evening (even if it started at eleven) and watched a movie while cuddling on the floor of our living room.

Contrast our above Saturday (the relaxing, yet study oriented one I admit) to yesterday...

1:45 a.m.:  I had been studying until around 1:45 in the morning, so I decided I might as well let Evan sleep some more and did the feeding.  We fall asleep around 3 o'clock together.  I set my alarm for 9:15 thinking I would get over six hours of sleep. HA.

5:25 a.m.: Evan wakes up to feed Liliana and comes back in to bed around 6:30 a.m.

8:30 a.m.:  Liliana starts crying even though it's only been 3 hours!  Evan tells me to keep sleeping, because he has this week off and has been taking two out of three of the feeds most nights (he took all of them 2 nights this week...amazing Daddy). 

9:40 a.m.: I already have overslept and Evan's obviously exhausted.  I come out to the living room and see this beautiful sight...

10:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m.: The day happens.  I study constantly and Evan keeps her entertained as best he can while he's trying to write his personal statement for his residency applications.  We get Liliana dressed for the day.

6:00 p.m.: Evan heads out to Market Street to go grocery shopping.  He's making this for dinner.  I love Macaroni and Cheese, I really do.  He decides that it's maybe easier to carry her around in his carrier rather than lug around the heavy infant carrier...

6:00 - 8:00 p.m.:  I keep studying and Evan cooks dinner.  We eat the macaroni with some delicious hotdogs and our bellies are satisfied.

8:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.:  Evan decides he should keep staining our fence (a project he's been tackling for the last couple months) and I feel bad that he's been taking care of  Liliana so much without any help, so instead of lugging around the infant carrier, I decide it's my turn to strap her on to my chest while I'm studying outside.  I am amazed at how similar this thing reminds me of being pregnant again!

9:00 - 11:00 p.m.:  We work out together (Evan's been working out with me to show support through my process of trying to lose the baby weight because he knows I love working out with company).  Liliana eats.  Clean up dishes from dinner (yes I know most people are heading to bed at this time).  Decide that since we had such a healthy meal for dinner, we should have these for dessert.

11:00 - 12:00 a.m.: While the brownies are in the oven, Evan says it's time to bathe Liliana.  Bathing Liliana is something we do together as a couple.  I have only not helped once and always put down whatever quiz or book I'm reading at the  moment.  It's our 15 minutes together that I treasure so much.  Well, Liliana decided today it wasn't going to be so sweet, but instead...poooopie!  She takes the worlds longest poop while we're getting her ready for her bath.  After 15 minutes of that, we finally put her in the tub and get this face...

Hmm...someone looks a little angry.  Little did we know, as I took this picture, she was pooping again!  This bath I tell ya...

We proceeded to clean the tub, get her floating poop out of the bottom, and finally bathe her.  She didn't seem too happy after the bath was done while we were drying her off.

12:00 - 1:00 a.m.: We get her in to her pajamas and try to calm her down.  Does she look like she was sleepy?

1:00 a.m. - 2:30 a.m.: Evan feeds Liliana and I keep studying.  She falls asleep and I stop studying around 1:45 a.m.  We decide to spend 30 minutes together and watch a House Hunters International in the UAE.  Exhausted, we hop in to bed...what a Saturday. : ) Wouldn't change it for anything in the world (well except for the constantly studying.  I could do without that).

Pregnancy Doctor's Visits

Yesterday marked an epic day...I am officially done with all my doctor's visits for this pregnancy!  YAY!  I decided I would take this blog post to reminisce about the last 9 months and my time spend at each visit.  Plus, this can give some pregnant ladies (or ladies thinking about becoming pregnant) an idea of what the schedule looks like.  Before I talk about each doctor's visit, I wanted to give a word of advice. 

First, don't be afraid to call you OB's office.  I called them at least 5 times during my pregnancy and obviously, it ended up being nothing, but I'm glad I called.  Having peace of mind is very important throughout your pregnant months, so if you feel funny, have bleeding, don't feel the baby move, have huge amounts of nausea, or have cramps that just end up being bad round ligament pain, it's nothing they haven't heard before.  Just call. 

Second piece of advice: throughout the breaks between your visits, if you ever have questions that can wait, write them down somewhere!  During my first trimester, I would always think of questions and then when I got to the doctor's I would draw a blank.  That stopped later and if I was at school and thought of a question, into my planner it went.  From then on, I was a question machine at the visits and I think the doctor actually liked it because I was in and out in no time.

Now, before I describe my doctor's visits, I am dishing out a disclaimer...every doctor is different and if you have a high risk pregnancy, your schedule might differ, but for the most part, I believe the schedules look a little something like this:

First Trimester

overall: you go every four weeks.

Week 4: I got a positive pregnancy test and called the doctor's thinking I needed to make an appointment immediately...they told me I had another month before my first visit.  I hung up the phone a little disappointed, but nobody was going to get me down!  I was too excited/ shocked/ terrified...you get the idea.

Week 8: I went in for my first visit.  Evan's Mom came in to town with me and we went together, just us two.  It was really special.  However, the visit wasn't...they just hand you lots of papers and basically tell you about the structure of doctor's visits and how everything will work.  They took my blood to make sure I was actually pregnant. 

Week 12: Finally, I did something, and then I remembered how nice week 8 was...you get everthing checked.  This is the violation visit: boobs, cervix, vagina, uterus, toes, scalp...ok maybe the last two are an exaggeration.  But this visit we got to listen to the heartbeat and it marks a great visit because your chances of miscarrying after this visit are about 2%.  I also got more shots, blood work, and got the swine flu vaccine at this visit.  I also got chewed out by the nurse practitioner at this visit because she wanted to do a pap smear and I said no.  When she checked my cervix it hurt like hell, so I refused to get one done.  She got all huffy puffy and said I was just avoiding the inevitable because I would need it at my post partum visit...guess who didn't have to get one done at her post partum visit yesterday? : )

(side note: in the middle of these visits, I spotted a couple times.  I got an ultrasound in San Antonio with my Momma at 5 1/2 weeks and she immediately found this gorgeous heartbeat.  I spotted again, much worse, here in Lubbock and they wanted an ultrasound too, so we did that one at 8 1/2 weeks.  To make sure things were ok since I spotted twice, they also had me go back at 12 weeks for another ultrasound.)

Second Trimester

overall: still go every four weeks

Week 16: The second trimester was incredibly uneventful in terms of doctor's visits.  I got so excited that I was in my second trimester, but nothing really happens.  At the visits they do the following:
       (1) listen to the heartbeat
       (2) check your fundal height (how high your uterus is.  At 20 weeks, it should be around your belly button)
       (3) ask you if you feel the baby moving
       (4) have you pee in the cup.  Let me say something here: they have you pee in the cup at every single visit so make sure to hold your bladder before your visits!  Later in the pregnancy this won't be as tough since you're going to the restroom more, but at first, I found it helpful to hold my bladder and even ask for some water once I got to the doctor's office.
       (5) take your blood pressure

Week 20: at week 20 is usually your anatomy and gender ultrasound!  This is a fun visit.  We did ours around week 19 and we also chose to find out the sex of our baby.  But even if you don't want to know, you'll still be there for quite a while because the anatomy takes around 30 minutes to one hour (depending on how the baby is positioned that day).

Week 24: look at week 16 and repeat

Week 28: this visit is time consuming because they do the glucose test on you.  You drink this cup that tastes like some kool aid with a funky consistency and sit in the waiting room for an hour.  Then they bring you back and prick your finger (ouchie!).

Third Trimester

overall: go every two weeks until week 36 and then go weekly

Week 30: if you've noticed, it was only two weeks since my last visit.  In the third trimester, you do a lot of the same stuff, but go more often because they want to make sure that you're not going in to pre-term labor.

Week 32: my doctor's office did something that I really liked.  Starting around week 28, they had you do visits with different doctor's in their practice to try and get you acclimated to the different physicians incase your OB wasn't on call the day you went in to labor.  At week 32, I met Dr. Farooqi and she is the one that ended up delivering our baby!  When Dr. Casanova realized he wasn't gonig to be able to stay for delivery, he told us we had an option of four doctor's and thankfully I knew I wanted Farooqi since I had rotated and met nearly everyone.  All the doctor's were incredibly nice, but Dr. Farooqi and Dr. Casanova were by far our favorites, so it was an easy choice.  This is also the week I got put on exercise bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy because I would get contractions whenever I did squats, or even walked around the block.

Week 34: look at week 16 and repeat

Week 36: at this visit, things start changing.  Once you're at this point, you are almost full-term.  Starting at week 36, you go on a weekly basis and go back to your OB.  You also get your cervix checked to see if they can give you an estimate of when that baby is coming!  Dr. Casanova checked me and told me any day now because as I posted here, I was quite far along at my visit.  I went in to labor two days after this visit.  However, I believe weeks 36 - 40 would have been more of the same.  In this time too, you might discuss when you'd want to be induced.  I was going to be induced on my due date, but obviously that was never an issue.

Postpartum visit: usually your postpartum visit is around 6 weeks out.  I, however, had mine at 4 weeks and 5 days because Dr. Casanova is going to Spain for two weeks starting next week.  At this visit, they ask you how you're doing, the doctor gets to meet that sweet baby he delivered, they check your blood pressure, they ask you how your healing is progressing, they check your cervix to make sure it closed, they check your ovaries, and if everything is looking good they give you the green light to resume exercise and sexual intercourse (woo hoo!).  Last, they give you birth control (unless of course you want to immediately start trying for another child).  Dr. Casanova asked us almost immediately "so guys, when are you having the second?"  I laughed and told him I wanted some incredibly effective birth control!  Personally, we're waiting at least one and a half years before even thinking about #2, so I left with lots of birth control!  ; ) 

TADA!  Done with doctor's visits.  While the poking down there and on my arm weren't fun, it really wasn't all that bad or too burdensome.  In fact, at first I wanted to go to the doctor's more often because I'm a worry wart and liked hearing that everything looked good.  But, most importantly, they were really not bad because they gave me my sweet Liliana, who by the way was a "cute, huge baby" according to Dr. Casanova.  Oh no, I think she might be getting chubby!! OOOOPS....

1 month old

Liliana:

Happy 1 Month Birthday!! 

I can't believe it...you're already one month old!  The time has gone by so quickly, and Daddy and I have loved getting to know you.  I wanted to write you a letter every month for the first year of your life so that hopefully, when you're older you can read these and see who you were from the very beginning.  Maybe when you have children of your own, you can pull these letters out and see the similarities and differences between your own little girl and yourself.  I have been making notes throughout the last month of your most distinguishing features, so here we go...

In general, you've been a great sleeper through the night.  You wake up around every four hours and gulp down your milk.  You did have about three rough nights, but in the first month, that isn't bad at all!  At the end of your first month, we started not setting alarms on when to feed you, so now if you decide to sleep through the night, we'll just let you!...last night you made it 4 hours and 15 minutes, so it's baby steps. : )

You love the warm baths we give you every other evening.  However, you absolutely hate being dried off and getting lotion on your body.  I've tried explaining to you that one day, you'll LOVE it when you're getting massages with lotion, but you don't seem to hear me through your cries of terror.

Around two weeks of age, you discovered the art of stretching your neck...it's the cutest thing.  You put your arms straight up, pucker your little lips, and stretch that neck nice and high. You had hiccups constantly the first couple weeks.  When I was pregnant with you, you had hiccups all the time, so I wasn't surprised that you had them so often.  You only get them a couple times a day now, and that seems to make you happier.  Sometimes you get them in the middle of the night and it's adorable because you fall asleep between each hiccup and wake up and get very frustrated with yourself. 

The first couple weeks, we were worried about your bilirubin levels because you were born so early.  We had to go to the hospital a few times, but thankfully, you fought through it all and we never had to put you under the bili lights!  That made Mommy, Daddy, Tata, and our wallets very happy.  Speaking of Tata, she spent two out of your first four weeks right by your side.  Tata already adores you and thinks you're an amazing baby. 

As for your developmental milestones:  you ROLLED OVER when you were 11 days old!  This was an AMAZING accomplishment and we were so impressed.  Daddy, in particular, started telling lots of people about how brilliant his little girl is.  Now, we try to do tummy time every day together, but you roll over so often that it's not very fruitful.  Your head control is outstanding too.  You hold it up for a few seconds and proceed to get frustrated that you can't hold it up any longer. You aren't cooing yet, but I can't wait to hear that little noise.  You are smiling already, but not because you know what you're smiling at...it's usually because you're pooping or about to pass gas. ; )

You were born with so much hair.  When I was about to push, I told the nurse that your hair was the physical feature I had been most curious about when I was pregnant and I kept wondering if you would be born with hair.  After just one push, the nurse said "I can tell you she has hair, and lots of it!"  We've been worried the hair on top of your head is going to fall off and you'll be left with a crazy mullet.  So far, this hasn't happened, so we're lucky.  I'll update next month if this changes!!  We'll have some pretty bad blackmail pictures if this does eventually occur. Speaking of hair, you LOVE LOVE LOVE grabbing on to my hair when I'm holding you and ... it kinda hurts Lili Bear!  But, I love it.  Mommy needs to cut her hair pretty badly, but doesn't want to because she loves it when you grab on to her hair and her necklaces.  It makes her feel so close to you.

As for your relationship with your Daddy, you guys are already like two peas in a pod.  He just adores you and loves spending time with you sleeping on his chest.  You crack him up already when you try to crawl while on his chest.  My favorite thing so far is how similar you look to his baby pictures.  Really, it's uncanny!!  Grammy brought pictures of Daddy when she came to see you for the first time and we all were amazed at the resemblance.  Speaking of Grammy, she loves you so much!  I think she sees a lot of Daddy in you, and that must be so special.  We shared a great moment together the day before your month birthday.  On our first Father's Day as a family, Daddy got the kiddie pool ready and put you in your cute speedo swimsuit that he bought you.  Guess what?  You didn't cry, not even once when we put you in the pool.  I think he was so proud. 

Liliana, I love you more than I ever thought possible after just one month.  I love seeing you grow, I love seeing you sleep, I love seeing your smiles, heck I even love seeing your poopy diapers.  Thank you so much for coming in to our lives.  We adore you, never ever forget that.

Love,
Mommy

Done Complaining...

I am done complaining.  Ok, well maybe not completely done, but I am going to try my darndest to shut up and look at the positives in life.

For months, I have been reading this blog.  I found this blog and got hooked because this Mommy had the exact same due date as I did.  However, when the baby was around 22 weeks, they found that their baby (Cohen) had four heart defects.  The prognosis didn't look good, but the Mommy carried the baby to 39 weeks.  Throughout this time period though, they had to sell their home, move to Dallas where the healthcare would be the best, and move in to the Daddy's Grandmas home.

Cohen was born approximately one week ago by a planned C-section.  Over the last week since he was born, he has been in surgery after surgery at Parkland Hospital in Dallas.  The Mom tweets about the progress of their baby and I've been staying updated during my study breaks.

Just now, the Mommy's brother wrote the following message:

This is uncle Brian (Megan's brother). I'm sorry to be the one to inform everyone but Cohen is not going to make it... He has a tear in his trachea and there is nothing that they can do. Please just pray for peace upon our family and as soon as there is a better update we will get them out. GOD please lift this precious little boy into Your arms. Thank you for the chance to see and know this precious little man! We are giving him to you now Lord and ask for Your hands upon us all during this time of grief and sorrow. In Your name and honor, Amen! Thanks to everyone for the continued prayers and support!

 I know I don't know this family.  I've never met them and she has no earthly idea that I exist.  However, this affected me so much.  This made me realize, as selfish as it sounds, how fortunate I am.  I complain because I have a stupid exam to study for.  Do you know how much this Mom wishes that was her biggest complaint right now?   I am so lucky that Liliana was born healthy.  She is such a ray of sunshine, and my heart breaks for this Mom because her ray of sunshine will no longer be in her arms.  How difficult it must be for her to carry this baby for 9 months knowing that his passing was a great possibility.  His prognosis was horrible to begin with, but I'm sure that you can't mentally prepare yourself.

So I'm going to make a huge effort to stop thinking negatively.  I'm going to do my best and study for this test with any ounce of energy that I have, but if I don't get a job immediately, who cares?  If I don't pass the bar on the first try, who cares?  I have my Liliana and my Evan and that makes me so fortunate and so happy.  And I truly mean that.

Tonight, I'll look into Liliana and Evan's eyes and realize how blessed I am.  So so truly blessed.

Losing the Baby Weight

Well, I've officially had no excuse to carry around this remaining flabby belly for 26 days.  Liliana is 26 days old, and although I'm technically not allowed to work out yet, it's about time that I start holding myself accountable for this post-baby weight loss.

 Right now, I look like this, and would therefore be wearing this to the beach:

I want to look like this and be wearing this instead:

In order to make this happen, I need this blog post...I'm going to give those terrifying numbers that no woman wants people to know.  So, without further delay:

Pre-pregnancy weight: 126 pounds

Weight the day I went in to labor: 163 pounds

Weight today: 143 pounds

 

So, to lose this baby weight, I think I'll write on the blog.  This will hold me accountable to the few that read this thing.  I will give my weight every couple weeks and critique myself as to how I did in terms of eating, exercise etc.

Since I'm behind 26 days, I'll say what I've done so far:

    - My exercise: nonexistent, because I'm not allowed anyway!  I haven't even been walking around the block because I don't have time since I'm studying too often.  I will try to improve that some this week though.  Again, it's nice to clear my mind and get out of the house some.

    - My eating habits:  I've tried to be a little more mindful of this.  I haven't been dieting.  I actually never diet.  I think that's a horrible way to monitor myself.  I don't want to start a dieting roller coaster.


Goal for the next two weeks: walk more around the block and start leaving a couple bites of foot on my plate after every meal in an attempt to keep some calories off.

Eventual Goal: 17 pounds to go to return to pre-baby weight!

May 21st

My Dad has always teased me for saying "I can't wait for ______."  He says I always have to look forward to things.  He's right.  I love looking forward to different events.  Sometimes it's a good thing, and sometimes I don't let myself live in the present enough.

However, I think May 21st, 2011 is warranted for me to be beyond excited for.

Today, Evan called me and asked me "would you hood me when I graduate?"  Apparently, anybody with a terminal degree can hood the medical students next year.  So, this JD will be hooding that MD.  I am so, completely, utterly humbled and honored.  It means so much to me that he asked.  I never thought in a million years that this would happen...the lawyer hooding the doctor!  Ah, that would make so many doctors roll over in their graves, but for us, it will be one of the most special moments we've ever experienced as a couple.

I have to admit, I think it works perfectly.  I am so proud of him.  He has managed to do these three years already without complaining, he always holds his head up high, and everybody in the hospital loves him.  Additionally, I truly believe he will make a phenomenal doctor.  It's not just his intelligence, which trust me, he has plenty, but it's the other stuff that's important as well: he's patient, compassionate, kind, has a sense of humor, will talk about any subject without getting embarrased, etc. etc.  I know I would love to have him as my doctor.  But I get to do something even better.  I get to help him through this journey, not just as a support system throughout the four years of medical school, but also by hooding him. 

It's like telling the world: I give you Evan Garrett Lacefield, M.D. 

Again...so honored.  So so freaking honored.  Those 15 seconds will make my three years of law school completely worth it.

To top things off, guess who's first birthday is on the same day that Daddy graduates from Medical school?  Isn't that just incredible?!  So all in one day we'll celebrate Evan graduating from medical school and Liliana's first birthday.  This is going to be one happy wife and mother next year.

So everybody mark May 21st on your calendar because that day is going to be ... wait for it.... legendary!!

To fill in the blank: "I can't wait for May 21st, 2011."

I Hate You Mr. Texas Bar Exam

Dear Mr. Texas Bar Exam:  

I want to write you a letter and express to you my hatred of your existence.

Unfortunately, my life as of late has been studying all your boring information.  I am ashamed to admit that I spend more time (actually, much much more time) looking at these books and getting 50% on all my quizzes than with my darling daughter or handsome husband.  Therefore, I figure it's only fair that I give this blog a post dedicated strictly to how much I despise you.  And let me tell you, I'm aware hate is a strong word.  In fact, my Mom always told me not to say I "hated" someone but instead "strongly disliked" them.  Well Mom, sorry, but I want to say, I HATE this exam.

Ironically enough, one of the most important events in my life (Liliana's birth) is supposed to coincide with my preparation for this exam.  Balancing those two has been much more difficult than I ever expected. I didn't foresee the guilt and emotions I would harbor while studying.  I know she'll never remember that I studied this much during her first two months of life.  I understand that.  But... I'll remember.  I feel like a horrible mother.  I really do.  Other Moms get maternity leave and they stay home watching their babies every single move.  I, on the other hand, missed the second time she rolled over.  Had Evan not videotaped it, I would have missed it.  And to make matters worse, I probably got 50% on that quiz that I was taking as she was making such a big step.

So, Mr. Texas Bar Exam...I hate you.  

Let me count the ways:

- I can't be with my daughter like I want to be. 
- You require a billion hours of studying every single day.  It's impossible. 
- You make me feel stupid.  I don't like it when people make me feel stupid.  I especially don't like it when the scores show me I am indeed stupid.
- I barely spend any time with my handsome hubby anymore.  That sucks.  Dates are a thing of the past.  I have a feeling we won't get a free moment sans bar on my mind until I see my name on the bar exam website as someone that passed.
- I hate that I never have a moment where I'm not thinking about all the studying I have to do.

Ugh, I can't even write on my blog.  This blog was supposed to be an outlet to free my mind, but thanks to you, I still can't do that without getting stressed.

So thank you for making these two months that were supposed to be so treasured a completely and utter horror.

I hate you and don't forget it,
Cristina

Maternity Photo Shoot Tips

I was reading through some past posts today and realized I had mentioned our photo shoot with Amber in my Week 35 Survey Post.  I had promised I would post other pictures once we received them and forgot to do so. 

As I've mentioned a few times on this blog, I don't care too much for bare belly pictures.  I don't know why.  It's not that I think the belly is an ugly thing...ok, actually, I kinda do, but it's just that I like how it looks better with clothes on top of it! haha.  I have nothing against other people taking bare belly pictures.  In fact, I occasionally have thought they're cute.  They just aren't my cup of tea.  So, when our friend Amber came over to take our maternity shots, she knew my criteria and we had an amazing time taking pictures.

I thought I would post these to help other women with my dilemma who want nice maternity shots without their belly showing.  I had a really hard time finding these kinds of pictures on the internet.  Whenever I put in maternity photos on Google, nearly all of them had women in their bras and undies.  Yeah...no thanks. I want Liliana to look at these later and not think "ewww gross Mom!" 

So, thanks to Amber's guidance, I can now give some tips to have a great maternity photo shoot:

(1) DO include your partner in some of the shots;

 I wanted my husband in a bunch of the pictures, because after all, he did create half of that belly!  Plus, he is such a hands on dad and helps more than you'd ever imagine. 

(2) DO make sure to take them before your last month;

This belly looks pretty big right? 

Well, that's because I was going to deliver the next week, so if we hadn't taken these pictures at week 35, we would have missed out on our maternity shots!

(3) DO take some in the nursery;

 This is her toy chest, which currently serves as a wipes and diapers chest. 

One day though, it'll be filled with all her goodies.  

 Little did we know our precious girl would be sleeping in this crib so soon!

These two pictures from the nursery were my favorite of the whole photo shoot.

(4) DO try cute and different ideas; and 

 Since Evan is less than a year away from being Dr. Lacefield, our friend had this great idea!  

Our Christmas card announcement had him with the stethoscope too, but since I was so far along in these pictures, he could actually hear Liliana's heartbeat!  

 This was my favorite idea that our photographer had!  

She just took pieces of Scrabble and spelled out Liliana's name. If your babies name is much longer, it might not work, but at least try the nickname because I thought these were really cute.

(5) DO wear a bright colored shirt!

 We wore two outfits, one with black on and one with green on.  Amber told us to wear bright and she was right.  I liked the green outfits much better than the black ones.

The last good thing about bright shirts:

the photographer can mess with it more when doing special effects.

Hope you enjoyed these shots and got some ideas of your own!

The Little Things in Life

I unfortunately haven't had time to blog lately.  I have so many things I am DYING to write about:
(1) the hospital bag: what we packed, what we used, what we forgot, (2) taking pictures of newborns and advice on that, (3) recovery after labor, (4) the dynamic with your marriage and how, for us at least, it's made us stronger and more connected than we've felt in a long time, (5) the bond you feel with this bundle of joy that makes you feel this amount of happiness you've never known, and (6) the horrible bar exam and how I stay up until 1 in the morning nearly every day and still can not get caught up.  See...told you...I have lots of posts I want to write.

But, for today...let's talk about the little things and joys in life that have kept me going the past two weeks while I've been studying constantly.  I'm not going to lie, I've felt an extreme amount of guilt while I study during the day and how much I wish I could be holding her and kissing her full time instead of looking at my damn computer screen and watching video lectures.  But, it's as if Liliana knows how to make her Mommy happy...here are some great moments we've shared with her so far:

(1) I had a good laugh when a first happened...I got peed on already.  She was about three days old and we were giving her her first bath at home and I was silly enough to carry her from the bathroom to her room without a diaper on...mistake.  As I felt the pee on my shirt and skirt, I just started cracking up.  Evan looked at me and we couldn't stop laughing.

(2) On the potty topic, she has projectile pee!!  She peed all the way from her changing pad to her rocking chair while Evan was using the cleaning wipes.  I was studying in the living room and heard a "holy crap!" and run over to see Evan in amazement...I think he thought projectile pee was only an act that men could do...au contraire my friend...girls, especially Liliana are impressive!

(3) The biggest accomplishment she's had: she rolled over at 11 days of age!  I know you're thinking we're crazy and want to convince ourselves of this, but 4 days later, she did it again and this time we actually caught it on video!  She already has nearly 100 hits on youtube.  Our little girl is a celebrity.  Most babies don't roll over until they're at least 2 - 3 months of age.  She's a strong one, especially for a preemie.  In fact, just in the time that I've written this blog post, she has rolled over 5 times. 

I'll leave you with some parting pictures...we tried to be artistic parents because we wanted to get some shots for her birth announcement.  Thankfully, our friend Amber (who took our amazing maternity shots) is coming over on Thursday night to take better ones for us, because a photographer I am not.  But, it was still the best part of my weekend taking them and spending time with my family...

Hope you liked these pictures!  I'm not posting them on facebook yet incase we don't get some decent ones with Amber because I want people to be surprised with the birth announcement.  I can't decide which one is my favorite...but one thing I can conclude with absolute certainty is that she's pretty darn cute.

3 years ago

Three years ago today, I was waking up feeling beyond content.

 I was finally marrying my best friend.  Evan and I married 2 weeks after graduating from college, but we had known for years that we wanted to be married.  Our wedding was absolutely gorgeous.  I wasn't nervous in the slightest the day of the wedding.  It was just what I was supposed to do.  I was put on this earth to marry him.  There was no doubt, whatsoever, in my mind.

Three years later, quite a lot has changed:

 We got married

went on an amazing and relaxing honeymoon

  shared many meals in our new home

 carved pumpkins together every fall

got our first dog Linda Mujer

 

started graduate school

 became an Aunt and Uncle for the first time

I graduated from law school

 

 we got pregnant 

 and had our wonderful Liliana.  

What an amazing filled three years.

Evan and I are a hell of a team.  We've been through so much together during our marriage and in the eight years we've been together.  I have so much to thank him for.  He has made me who I am today.  I love him.  My happiest memories are with him.  He makes me laugh and makes me smile more than anyone else in this world.  I can't wait to continue our lives together...who knows what will happen in the next three years of marriage...

I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Things I Wish People Had Told Me About Pregnancy

I had all these great blog post ideas for my last 4 weeks of pregnancy.  Liliana apparently decided that they weren't so great and I believe that's part of the reason that she decided to come early.  I do however, feel compelled to write about a few things I wish people had told me about pregnancy.  I warn you, some of these aren't pretty...they're very brutally honest...maybe that's why people don't talk about them.  So without further delay:

(1) When you pee, you toot...every single time.
This one mainly came out during the third trimester.  Every single time you pee, you fart!  I can't explain it, but it's true.  I thought it was hilarious, but frustrating all at the same time.  So just look out for it, because it's inevitable.

(2) Umm...what was I saying, thinking, anything?
Your mind goes to absolute shit during pregnancy.  I couldn't focus, even on my studies.  And even when I did focus, I didn't give a crap.  You just can't feel any emotions for a prolonged period of time because your mind is in lala land.  It's not even necessarily that you're only thinking about the baby.  You just have a million different things going on with your body that I don't think it's possible to focus on one thing.  This characteristic of pregnancy was very difficult on me during my studies.  My grades during my third year were quite lower than even my first year of law school, but I couldn't even care.  Like I said...lala land.

(3) Sex, how I miss you so
I think pregnancy is preparing you for the sex life you'll inevitably lead after children come in to the picture (although we still are disillusioned enough to say that won't happen to us...haha...for all of those that have children, laugh at our being so naive). Sex during pregnancy was ... well, just not happening as often as pre-pregnancy.  I joked around with Evan that God was punishing us for fornicating! haha.  As I've blogged about many times, we got put on bed rest a few times during our pregnancy.  Well, those stunk.  So, don't get me wrong, it still happens and you still enjoy each other a bunch, but at least for us, it did cut down some due to doctors orders.

(4) My hands and feet, oh my!
My hands and feet hurt like crazy in the last month of pregnancy.  This was the weirdest sensation ever.  Every time I woke up in the middle of the night to pee, I had to limp over to the restroom because my feet hurt.  I thought my Achilles tendon had broken the pain was so bad.  But, alas, it was just the pregnancy.  This was a symptom I had at least heard of.  I had to start wearing very comfortable shoes and even then, my feet just got tired from standing up.  Then, the weirdest thing happened: I started getting that sensation in my hands.  When I woke up in the morning, I couldn't make a fist for the first thirty minutes of each day...it just hurt too bad.  I had never heard of that happening to other women, so I looked it up on the internet and still found very little.  Then, I was reading one of my favorite blogs and she mentioned the same symptom!  She even had to put splints on her wrists and hands because the pain was so bad.  Fortunately, I never got that bad, but man did they hurt.

(5) Don't ask me to hold anything breakable...
When you're emotional (aka cry for no reason, which happened about twice a week) during pregnancy, the last thing you need is to start feeling like you can't even control your hands and your body.  I became such a klutz during my pregnancy.  It was, again, such a strange sensation.  I would be holding a glass and it would just slip from my fingers, or what happened really often to me was that Linda's food bowl woudl fall from my hands and the food would get all over the floor.  This would result in my being incredibly frustrated with myself, yelling at myself that this was getting really annoying, and tears welling up in my eyes while I wondered what other things I woudl drop that day.  I know it sounds crazy to have all these emotions over dropping things on the floor, but when you're growing bigger by the day, the last thing you need is to start losing some of your control.  It was a feeling of helplessness.

Well, there ya go...the things I wish someone had told me about pregnancy.  I realize they were all quirky or negative.  I could write out the top 5 things that were wonderful, because there were definitely wonderful parts about being pregnant.  But, the #1 wonderful thing about being pregnant is the squirming beautiful girl that's next to me right now and I'm going to go kiss her...yeah, those five things above don't seem so bad anymore.