Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I Faint in Public, Look Like a Prostitute, and I'll be Teaching your Children

Approximately two weeks ago, I went here:

See that sign that says free ear piercing?  That's where I was.  For YEARS (and yes, I mean years), I've wanted to get a second hole in my ears.

According to my Mother, girls with second holes in their ears are prostitutes.  Yes, she literally told me this.  Apparently, and still to this day I don't believe her, when she was growing up in Puerto Rico, if girls had a second hole in their ears, it was a sign that they were prostitutes.

As you can imagine, getting a second hole was OUT OF THE QUESTION in our household.

So, when I got married, I decided I was finally going to take the plunge.  Then, I realized I was in law school and that some judges are jerks.  They make you wear panty hose in their courtroom and they make you take any piercings, other than one, out of your ears.  When I started clerking at the law firm, I went to the courthouse often, so piercing my ears was out of the question.

When I finally decided to teach instead of practice law, I started thinking again about how badly I wanted to look like a prostitute (aka pierce my ears).  When we went to get Liliana's ears pierced, I realized that even at 9 weeks, an earring can sure add a great deal of cuteness:

SO, I did it.  I got my ears pierced.  In the front window at Claire's.  And you know what?  It didn't hurt.  Seriously, I barely felt it.

But, next thing I knew...I was on the floor and Evan was looking at me with the biggest pity face ever.

I fainted.

In front of EVERYBODY in the mall.  I flat out passed out.  Thankfully, my husband's nearly a doctor because he saw me sliding out of my chair, carefully put me on the floor on my side (in case I threw up, which I didn't, thankfully), and just waited.

I woke up and felt like SHIT.  The EMS guy in the mall came with his handy dandy kit and asked if I needed anything.  The whole store was looking at me.  My daughter was being held by the lady that pierced my ears because Evan had to tend to his wimpy wife. 

So, tell me...was it worth my public humiliation?  And more so, do I look like a prostitute?  (ok ok...sorry I'm done teasing you Mom)...but seriously, do I?  I'll be in NY the rest of this week, so I want to know if I'm gonna be picked up on the streets, cause I tell you what, I wouldn't be cheap!  I have high standards.

 Excuse the photography. Evan loves taking pictures of me, even when I'm not posing.

On the plus side, guess who passed her teacher certification exam with flying colors?  This wimpy girl in the picture above might be at your kids school before you know it!  WOO HOO!


  1. Too funny! I laughed so hard! I love my second ear piercing...I hope you like it too!

  2. I passed out when I got my nose pierced so dont feel bad! Congrats on passing the teachers exam.. Im so ready to get my degree and start teaching!!!

  3. It looks great!! And if you get picked up on the streets of NY just look at it as a little extra income ;)

    Congrats on your exam!

  4. Yes, you look like a total prostitute. But, you already knew that, right? Just jokers!! :)

    If what your Mom says is true I'm practically running a prostitution ring...I have 4 holes an each ear (but I only wear 2), I have my nose pierced, and I previously had my belly button and tongue pierced!

    Have fun in New York!! Does the dress fit?

  5. You're a very pretty prostitute...and just a few years' time, when the embarrassment has worn off, you'll have the fainting story to laugh about! :)

  6. LOL! You look great girl. No prostitute here. That fainting story is pretty funny. Glad you are okay. :)

  7. I'm glad your mom has never examined my ears... I have two holes! I hope yours turned out better than mine... mine are uneven, and mine hurt like hell.. so apparently your experience was tons better, minus the fainting. Which, by the way, is really funny! I'm sorry! =) Thank goodness for your awesome husband! The earrings look beautiful - congrats! ;-)

  8. OH man! LOL Glad you are okay!

    Looks cute and congrats on passing!

  9. Holy crap! That's hilarious. I got a second piercing, and my cartilage pierced when I was in college. And then the leader of the LDS church talked about girls only having one piercing, so I took them out. And now, I'm OK with only having to buy one pair!

  10. You're lovely! :) Congrats on passing your exam!!

  11. so cute! Poor thing - I'm sorry that you passed out, but at least now you can back up your fear of needles to anyone who asks! :)

    ps - congrats on passing getting your teaching certification, that's awesome!

  12. I seriously laughed out loud!! Sorry!!! Your ears look lovely and congrats on getting your teaching certificate!!!

  13. it! Gotta make a fool out of yourself sometimes!

  14. Your blog title made me laugh outloud :)

    I received this blog award today and I'm paying it forward to you! I hope you will pay it forward as well :)

    Have a great day!!

  15. I think second holes are sexy. I had one in highschool, but I let it close up for a reason I can't seem to remember right now. Anyways congrats on passing your exam and hello you're in NY?! Come say hi!!

  16. That's funny that your mom would always tell you that.
    Hopefully you won't get picked up in New york, although it is New york so the second earring thing is probably pretty common.

  17. I got my second holes years ago but they just sit there empty. Every day I tell myself that I am going to start wearing earrings again and then I never put them in.

    I just have my nose piercing, and that stays in all the time!

  18. Now that is an adorable little girl

    Hello stopping in to check out your blog from buddy notes on blogfrog. Enjoying your site and will stop back soon

  19. Found you from Ian-- totally passed out when I got my ears pierced the second time. I had my first ones done when I was 5 and remember it being traumatic, so I totally psyched myself out when I got my second holes done at 14. Claire's got to see me slide out of my chair, too ;) They had to use sniffing salts hahaha!

    And I love a baby with pierced ears! SO CUTE!

  20. My daughter got her ears pierced in May and was really great about it. But something happened and she didn't want them any more, so a few weeks ago took them out. I was skeptical about letting her get them pierced at 5, wanted to wait till she was 10, got vetoed. But she looked really cute in them. Wish she still had them.