I Faint in Public, Look Like a Prostitute, and I'll be Teaching your Children

Approximately two weeks ago, I went here:

See that sign that says free ear piercing?  That's where I was.  For YEARS (and yes, I mean years), I've wanted to get a second hole in my ears.

According to my Mother, girls with second holes in their ears are prostitutes.  Yes, she literally told me this.  Apparently, and still to this day I don't believe her, when she was growing up in Puerto Rico, if girls had a second hole in their ears, it was a sign that they were prostitutes.

As you can imagine, getting a second hole was OUT OF THE QUESTION in our household.

So, when I got married, I decided I was finally going to take the plunge.  Then, I realized I was in law school and that some judges are jerks.  They make you wear panty hose in their courtroom and they make you take any piercings, other than one, out of your ears.  When I started clerking at the law firm, I went to the courthouse often, so piercing my ears was out of the question.

When I finally decided to teach instead of practice law, I started thinking again about how badly I wanted to look like a prostitute (aka pierce my ears).  When we went to get Liliana's ears pierced, I realized that even at 9 weeks, an earring can sure add a great deal of cuteness:

SO, I did it.  I got my ears pierced.  In the front window at Claire's.  And you know what?  It didn't hurt.  Seriously, I barely felt it.

But, next thing I knew...I was on the floor and Evan was looking at me with the biggest pity face ever.

I fainted.

In front of EVERYBODY in the mall.  I flat out passed out.  Thankfully, my husband's nearly a doctor because he saw me sliding out of my chair, carefully put me on the floor on my side (in case I threw up, which I didn't, thankfully), and just waited.

I woke up and felt like SHIT.  The EMS guy in the mall came with his handy dandy kit and asked if I needed anything.  The whole store was looking at me.  My daughter was being held by the lady that pierced my ears because Evan had to tend to his wimpy wife. 

So, tell me...was it worth my public humiliation?  And more so, do I look like a prostitute?  (ok ok...sorry I'm done teasing you Mom)...but seriously, do I?  I'll be in NY the rest of this week, so I want to know if I'm gonna be picked up on the streets, cause I tell you what, I wouldn't be cheap!  I have high standards.

 Excuse the photography. Evan loves taking pictures of me, even when I'm not posing.

On the plus side, guess who passed her teacher certification exam with flying colors?  This wimpy girl in the picture above might be at your kids school before you know it!  WOO HOO!