Friday, January 27, 2012

Unhappy Home

This post is what started the entire "Home Renovation Project: One Room at a Time" .....

I made a big mistake today.

I found

BIG mistake.

I now feel like my house looks like crap, like I'm the most unproductive and uncreative person on earth, and worst of all, I have officially confirmed to myself that our home is flat out uninspiring.

I don't know what it was about the old home, but I liked it.  I thought it had our personality.  I think it's because I bought EVERYTHING for that home.  Evan and I didn't have a darn thing before we moved to Lubbock and I surely wasn't keeping things from college, so I worked through college and saved up to buy things for it.  The things that I didn't save up for, we got PLENTY and MORE for wedding gifts (my family is full of the most generous people you've ever met).  And, I have lots of family so it worked in our favor.

But ever since we've moved here, I've been unhappy with how the home looks.  I TRULY would say EVERY SINGLE NOOK of the house is "in progress."  I HATE that feeling.

That feeling of "ehh."

And I know we can't really afford to change much.  I know Evan and I don't have the budget to do major renovations.  Although, if I had my way, some major renovations would happen in a couple areas ... mainly our master bath.  The tiny tiny master bath.  It actually isn't the SIZE that bothers me.  It's the UGLY puke green colored tile ALL OVER the tiny bath. 

I just can't shake the feeling of disliking the home though. And it's not the HOME I dislike, it's just the way that I haven't put my spin on it.  I don't have any of our personality in it just yet.  I think that's what it boils down to.  It looks like we just moved our stuff in to the old owners home.  7 months ago.  I want it to look like OUR home.

 And it sounds silly to say it, but it brings me down nearly every day when I get home.  Having our home looking the way I don't want it makes me feel like a failure of a wife and more importantly, failure as a person!  I want to be PROUD of this home that Evan and I purchased together.  And right now, I'm simply not.

I think I'm going to try and tackle an affordable project each month to try and get me out of this funk.  This upcoming weekend we were going to tackle some curtain issues in the master bedroom, but I think that might be a mistake.  I think we quite literally need to start from SQUARE ONE in each room.  What vision do I have for each room?  What could we realistically do to change the room? etc.

Oh boy, my husband is sure going to wish he was working more this weekend! ; )


  1. Sounds like someone is nesting!!!

    I know what you mean though, I can't wait for every room to be decorated and done. For now I'm going room by room.

  2. 私の家はとても狭くて、バスルームは一つしかないです。 でも私がカナダに住んでいた頃はとても部屋が沢山ありました。 だけど今の生活は家族とともに幸せです

  3. I know how you feel...but you need to give yourself a break! I struggle with guilt and feeling like a failure sometimes....but what your house looks like is definitely not what makes you a success at being a wife, mother, or person. It sounds like you have a happy husband and baby...and that is what matters. I think tackling one affordable project at a time is a good idea. I think the most affordable projects (DIY, etc.) are the ones that end up giving your house the most character anyway. Good luck...and stop beating yourself up!

    Also, wanted to tell you I tagged you in an "11 Random Things" you can do it sometime if you want. :)